Closet Smokers

[AutumnWoman]

I figured I had better join this group because I'm often home alone and my husband still smokes, which I could see as an open invitation to have a cigarette. This is Day 5 for me smoke-free, probably because I've been spending a lot of time on this site. I have to keep it in the front of my mind that regardless of whether my husband continues to smoke, I need to stay stopped.

[nomopuffs]

I've been off cigarettes for a week now and its not as hard as it was on day 4.  I used to smoke a 1/2 a pack a day for 6 years and more when I drank.  I always used to chew gum while I smoked.  The first thing I did when I decided to quit was cut the gum.  Without the gum I don't smoke even if I'm really craving it b/c the cigarette tastes so bad.  We all have conditioned ourselves to associate smoking with something else, be it coffee, gum, alcohol or whatever else.  The key is to cut the other factor that reminds us of smoking.  Hopefully this will help.  Good luck to all of you and stay strong.

[robin-banks]

So glad we are able to support each other through this site!  I'm quit for 6..almost 7 days now and I'm happy to report that it is getting easier as time goes by!  I'm not saying this is easy by any means cause it is hard, but it is getting easier as the days go by and I know that with each others support...WE CAN DO THIS!

A few tricks I've been trying so far that have worked:  When I'm alone in my car I bring my ipod so that I have something to fiddle with.  Crunchy sugar free candy like Russel Stovers Toffee bites are good because depending on the current intensity of the craving you can suck, chew, bite, demolish or save some for later!  Also too, talking out loud to myself has helped a great deal!  Of course you have to make sure no one else is looking...like don't do it at a red light or anything...but I've been giving myself pep talks..I can do this!  This craving will pass...encouraging myself in any way I can!

We face a unique challenge having been closet smokers, but it sure will be nice not to be consumed with trying to cover it up and hide it because there is nothing to cover up or hide anymore! 

It feels really good to be free of the burden of trying to hide this nasty habit.  Besides, the only one that we were fooling was ourself! 

Feels really good to come out of hiding!  Good luck to all!

[hhize]

Well, here I am actually admitting that I am/was a smoker. I don't think I even admitted that to myself until recently. I was just doing it for fun and socially with my husband and thought I could control it.

I smoked through high school and college along with my husband and we both decided to quit to start our family. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. We were both successful after lots of hard work and were smoke free for 5 years. A couple years ago we both started smoking socially again - when out with others that smoke. We promised ourselves we would NEVER smoke at home or buy cigs - of course over time we were doing both. At the end I was smoking by myself a couple times a day and then in the evening with my husband for a total of probably 6-8 cigs a day. I love/loved smoking!

I started on Wellbutrin about 2 weeks ago and have not smoked since Dec. 27th - so 10 days now. It is so hard and I really want to throw in the towel and say forget it, I will quit later. I can find lots of excuses if I really want to. My husband still smokes although he is trying to cut back - wow that is soooo hard. Sometimes I am fine and happy and proud of myself. Othertimes I am almost depressed and feel zapped. I feel like I want to scream and so restless at times.

Nobody really knows about the smoking. We hide it from our 2 children, our families and friends. Only the few people in our families that smoke know that we smoke. I feel so guilty and ashamed for making such a bad choice and starting up again. I am nervious that people are going to find out and that made me withdrawl from some friendships. I would be crushed if our kids found out. The funny thing is - when I am at a low point I almost don't care if they find out - that is how this stupid habit controls a person.

Sorry for such a long message but wanted to get this off my chest and do so with others in the same situation. It is harder because we can't ge the support some others get because no one knows. We also don't get the recognition for quitting. Thanks for listening!

[hhize]

I thought it would get easier not harder! Some days have been great and others not so great. I usually have the hardest time after the kids go to bed because that was our "relax the kids are in bed" time and we really enjoyed that smoke the most. My hubby still goes out after the kids are in bed and I sit inside and wish it didn't bother me so much. How is everyone else doing? Heidi

[mfaith]

I never realized it but I guess I am a closet smoker.  Never knew they had a name for who I am.  I never smoked in front of my family or children.  My husband actually just found out that I smoked and he is so anti-smoking.  When I met him I was just smoking when I would go out and have a few drinks, so I really did not really think that it was important to tell him when we were dating.  Then I found out he never drinks, smokes etc.  Then I fell in love and quit for awhile.  For some reason I started again later in our relationship and we have been together for ten years married three and he is just finding out.  He took it better than I thought.  He ran out and bought me the gum, which kind of helped for about three days, then I just had to go and get coffee at the store and I realized that was one of my triggers, going to those convient stores with the cigs behind the counter.  It's going to be hard, but I have to do it for myself and my family.

[lavona]

I have been smoking off and on for about 31 years. My first husband and I had a "smoke fest" for the ten years we were married.  Since then I never smoked in front of my son, who is now 23 years old.  I have been married to my second husband for the last ten years.  He doesn't smoke, and  he hates it.  I only have three or four a day and only when I go to work and I am away from him.  You would think that when the weekends roll around or when we go on weekly vacations and I don't smoke, that it would be easy to continue not smoking, but it's not, at least not for me.  I've tried gum, which I still chew, and Chantix which gave me terrible nightmares.  I've set my date for Feb 1st. and I feel determined.  Oh, and I RUN, so you would think it would be easy, right.  But I think I just have a love / hate relationship with smoking.....

[double]

I"ve known forever that I am a closet smoker. I've taken long trips with my family (4 weeks) and never even thought about a cigarette, but once I'm not around them, I start again. When at home, once my husbands leaves, I run outside and light up. It's just amazing to me that I absolutely have no problem with not smoking when I am around people I know disapprove and would be so disappointed in me. But by myself, I fit in as many as I can.So my trigger is simply not being around the people who don't want me to smoke. It's not after after a meal or with a drink. It's just when the opportunity of not being discovered presents itself. Anyway, I just joined Become an ex, so hopefully this will work.

[summiestick]

Nothing is worse than the person you love telling you that they would never marry a smoker, then closet quitting.  It's deceptive and crappy, and you KNOW they smell it on you.  I'm tired of trying to explain to myself how a stupid cig is more important to me than my future because it is absolutely not.  So I'm done sneaking around and I'm ready to come home smelling like a rose ALL the time! 

[sharon81]

I am so a closet smoker.  At work, when no one is looking I sneak outside and smoke.  Sometimes it is raining, but I still go.  I smoke in the garage at home.  My husband does not smoke. 

I am quiting March 15, 2010. 

[kerriebeard]

I never smoke around my family at all, when we are together I don't even think about smoking. I am a closet smoker, my parents quit cold turkey when I was 3yrs old and they are the worst when it comes to anti-smokers.  I have every spray and lotion you can think of stashed at work, in my car, my husbands car ( he doesn't smoke at all) and all over the house.
 I get worried when family stops by so I make sure I make the house smell good before they walk in.
I use to worry about gaining weight but with Weight Watchers I will get the best ideas on how to eat healthy and stage off any craving I may get.