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Give and get support around quitting

Jennifer-Quit
Member

Beware

Some very old blogs are waking up and reappearing.  Be sure to look at the date created to decide if you want to comment or not.

26 Replies
CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

elvan wrote:

I think the concern is that if someone does not see the date of the original post and they write a long and heartfelt response to someone no one knows...that they might be waiting for a response that never comes.  We all want to help people and we also all know that there are a lot of older blogs that offered great comfort to US...well at least to ME.  I think sharing them by putting a bookmark in a person's blog is a good idea. 

 

Ellen 

Definitely understand your concern there.  Having worked in online support communities for so long I've come to understand that in many communities, a response from the original author is not always guaranteed. This community is really fortunate in that respect that the authors for the most part stay engaged with the posts they put up.  Other communities where there is more of a finite solution (How do I do X on my Brand Name, Model device?) there is a far higher chance of the author getting the solution via an email notification and never coming back even since the email contained the solution. Quitting doesn't necessarily have a finite solution. There is an ongoing dialogue.

Truth be told, when I worked with other support communities where I was answering how-to questions all day, I would get frustrated when people didn't come back and say thanks or acknowledge that my solution worked for them. But over time I began to watch and see that many many more people were reading my reply than I realized and other people who hadn't asked the question but got to the site because they saw the question and my response and were able to immediately get an answer shifted my thinking.  It suddenly didn't matter that the original author had replied or even acknowledged my reply. Rather it was others who came in and commented saying that my advice or help helped them and they were thankful that they came and were able to immediately find a solution just by searching. They didn't have to call a call center or ask a  question and wait for a response. They had immediate satisfaction. I also found out that some people never even registered. Lurkers were reading and benefiting from my response. It kind of became addictive at this point. I was driven to respond and participate simply by the gratification that there more out there that were being helped than would ever be acknowledged.  Since then, my thinking has changed. When I reply, I do try to be heartfelt in my response no matter what. I'm not guaranteed a reply by the original author but it's likely that I'll help the original author and possibly many more. I could be short and dry and to the point for fear that I might not get a response, but that won't benefit me or the people I am trying to help.

The many heartfelt responses from many members of this community are amazing. I share them with the team here on a daily basis. Sometimes they make me emotional. So, I challenge you(aka everyone) to let go of expecting acknowledgement of your response and write solely because you have the faith that your reply will help someone or many someones even if they may not register and reply. Additionally the reply you give may not help the original author, and that's okay(aka "Take the best and leave the rest"), but it may help the next person who comes along searching the answer. 

Mark
EX Community Manager

EX Community Admin Team
Giulia
Member

My goodness what an in-depth response.  Appreciate your taking the time.  Hope others find your answers of interest as I did.  That list of "most viewed topics" is really fascinating.  So, the word "redneck"  is more often searched and that particular blog read than other potential words on the site, like "slip" or "relapse?"     Also interesting to see the most viewed topics are sinus, high blood pressure, chest tightness.  Are those "most viewed" topics searched from the community search icon or from general internet searches?  I'm assuming from the community (or the site itself.)  Too bad when you do a google search "how to quit smoking" BecomeAnEx doesn't pop up.  And although Mayo does appear on page 2, no mention of BecomeAnEx is on their page:  Quitting smoking: 10 ways to resist tobacco cravings - Mayo Clinic   I guess even though there's a partnership between the two, they can't promote EX?  Also too bad that the American Lung Association doesn't offer a list of online resources, such as EX and Whyquit, etc, Allen Carr, etc.  I know they can't favor one above the other, but it would be nice for people to have a list of options.  Interesting that the Carr site is fourth down on the Google list.   Guess that shows the widespread knowledge and popularity of the book.

It's great that you share the amazing responses on here with the rest of the team, Mark.  There is so much love and praise for this site and the community within the community itself.  People know when they've got a good thing.

CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

Giulia wrote:

My goodness what an in-depth response.  Appreciate your taking the time.  Hope others find your answers of interest as I did.  That list of "most viewed topics" is really fascinating.  So, the word "redneck"  is more often searched and that particular blog read than other potential words on the site, like "slip" or "relapse?"   

That is one of the top 20 viewed posts on the site in the last ~90 days. Likely most of the traffic has come from Google/Bing.  Search on the community is utilized very little. Here are the common site search terms.

In last 30 days (672 visits with search/0.3%):

  1. Chantix
  2. no mans land
  3. smoking partner
  4. TBX
  5. Brain fog
  6. joel
  7. anxiety
  8. minihorses
  9. sleep
  10. stress
  11. benefits
  12. best of ex
  13. day 20 patch
  14. elvan
  15. mark
  16. one puff files
  17. patch
  18. sinus
  19. sleep
  20. 102 days

In the last year (1,856/0.3%):

  1. TBX
  2. Chantix
  3. No mans land
  4. elder's list
  5. no mans land
  6. pops
  7. Pops
  8. Anxiety
  9. depression
  10. early withdrawal symptoms
  11. freedom train
  12. patch
  13. Patch
  14. sleep
  15. smoking partner
  16. tinging partner
  17. daily pledge
  18. elvan
  19. joel
  20. mark

I'm not sure why we're not showing up higher in that search result. Perhaps if there was an active "How to Quit Smoking" post then it would show up.  As to why we're not listed on Mayo's list. I'm not sure.

Mark
EX Community Manager

EX Community Admin Team
Giulia
Member

Well then, one of us, or many of us will just have to put a  blog on "How to Quit Smoking! - Come to BecomeAnEx!"

You and Ellen seem to be neck in neck in the last 30 days.  lol  I wish Ellen had responded before I did on this blog.  "I think the concern is that if someone does not see the date of the original post and they write a long and heartfelt response to someone no one knows...that they might be waiting for a response that never comes."  That's kind of it in a nutshell.  My problem was not so much that the heartfelt response wouldn't be responded to, but that it would be seen across the board at large. But from what you've said, Mark (and I really appreciate it) is that we really haven't a clue as to the impact of our responses.  So essentially nothing we say here is wasted. 

And I also was to apologize for my snarky "I know, it's all about everything else but that" comment.  Uncalled for and ungraceful.  AND not true.  Been thinkin' about that all day.  Mea culpa.  When I see such a beautifully graceful and gracious response from Ellen, it teaches me, once again the way to  loving inquisition and support.  Hey, I'm a hot blooded temperamental Italian.  What can I say. lol

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anaussiemom
Member

Hey, I'm a hot blooded temperamental Italian.  What can I say. lol"

No excuses.    lol

elvan
Member

Giulia‌ Thank you for your sweet words...I was really just trying to figure out how I felt about these old blogs and the people responding to them.  You, my dear, are too kind to me and your hot blood is part of what keeps you so interesting.  Sending a big hug,

Ellen

anaussiemom
Member

I personally like to read and digest the newer stuff.   Life evolves!
Things change!

 New studies, new research, new ideas.


Besides that, they prolly didn't have zip lining, bungee jumping, and the stuff I do everyday, for dopamine! In the 1900's

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