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Give and get support around quitting

Dani_2017
Member

Anyone looking for a quit smoking buddy?

Hi All, 

My name is Danielle and I'm on my third day smoke free. Last cigarette was on 7/26/17. I smoked for 5 years. Today has definitely been the hardest so far. I think this would be a little easier if I had someone to quit with me/ go through the process with me. Anyone interested? 

Thanks for reading! 

Tags (1)
102 Replies
12Finally34
Member

Hi Dani!!

Past 2 weeks was a fight to keep my same clean date (7/21).

I tried to be a perfect mother and grandmother and was so disappointed because I didn't receive the validation from the daughter or granddaughter (son's child).  The results of the experience is to allow them to live their lives and to participate in my own life.  

For 45 years, cigarettes would support my low self esteem and I had difficult with setting proper boundary for family, friends and co workers.  

I am being aggressive and blaming it on quitting smoking to keep the peace.   I am hoping as I learn to be assertive and claim my own space, I will be able to speak my truth without over apologizing.  

I take so much emotional abuse and play the victim.   I have this fear of being alone and the paradox I am alone.  I don't receive extra points for being a goffer or meek for anyone.  

Leaving cigarettes along I am becoming to believe:  stay away from the first puff!!n I am able to participate in my own life.

elvan
Member

You are sounding really good, really strong and focused.  Good for you!  Have not seen or heard from Dani_2017 in a while, hope all is well.

You are doing GREAT!

Ellen

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12Finally34
Member

Hi Ellen

Hope you had a good holiday.

I stayed close to the Nicotine and AA rooms this holiday.  I met recovered people with 36 years without a cigarette.  

It was this site that got me to receive live support and I am glad I did.  I return to work tomorrow and I am not as fragile and I was two weeks ago about returning to work.  

Today, I made 45 days without a cigarette.  As I listened to other with 30 minutes, 1 hours and 1 day, I am so grateful that I read and followed Allan Carr to the best of my ability.  When I listen to the newbies share, I hear myself before I accepted help and tried another way.

Eyes are heavy.  

Hope you have a good week and thanks for all your support

Carolyn

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Dani_2017
Member

Hi there, I'm sorry for the slow response. 

These last few days at work have been crazy! 

In response to what you've said, I think that there are a lot of feelings associated with quitting/the end of cigarettes/the end of an era as we both knew it. It's strange to switch from life as a smoker to life as a non-smoker, and there will be some bumps in the road along the way. I've had my fair share. I'm still having more bumps and learning to deal with those too. Some days are really hard. Sometimes I still reach for that "phantom pack" before realizing that it isn't there.

But overall, it sounds to me like you're doing really well. I also struggled with excess frustration. I'm still learning how to deal with that in many ways. I'm so glad that you're checking in. You can do this! I believe in you. 

And elvan‌, everything is fine, I'm doing well thanks to joining forces with TW517 and am past my month mark. Thanks for the check in! 

Hope you all enjoy this long weekend! 

elvan
Member

Dani_2017  SO GOOD to hear from you, it sounds like you are doing MAGNIFICENTLY!  Have an amazing weekend!  I promise you that the longer you stick with your quit, the easier it will get.  It really is a rebirth of sorts...there are some labor pains.

XOXO,

Ellen

12Finally34
Member

Hi Dani

You mentioned labor pains - I feel like I am in my first trimester. 

With my 45 days, I am getting over the morning sickness and surrendering to the fact that I am not taking the first puff just for today.  

I am allowing the members in the nicotine meeting to take care of me and I am following them and their suggestions.

Have a good day!

Dani_2017
Member

Hi there and good morning! Wow, you and I have almost exactly the same quit date. Today is day 43 for me. So I believe you're 4 days ahead of me. 

Sounds like you're truly making great progress, proud of you! You can do this. 

I don't know how I missed your post but per the message, read, ask, learn, be willing, allow the time to unlearn it.

There is a list of good posts on the home page, down on the left called the best of ex.

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Sorry to be late!  Congratulations on your three day quit!  That's a GREAT start!

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy