Anyone else keeping their quit kind of a secret?

[TW517]

Obviously you can't keep it secret for long, and not at all to people you interact with daily.  But I'd rather not broadcast it to everyone I know.  Or even bring it up to anyone.  If someone asks, I'll let them know I've quit and ask them not to make a big deal about it.

This is the 6th time I've quit.  Four of the times I told everyone, and was smoking again within weeks or days.  The time I quit for 11 months, I didn't tell a soul.  I'm not saying I started again those other times because I told people.  But I find the less I'm reminded of what I'm doing, the easier it is for me.  Just now, a well-meaning co-worker asked me when I returned from lunch how I was holding up.  Of course, she had to go on about how hard it was for her that first year, especially after having a meal, etc., etc.  Gee thanks, I was actually doing OK until you brought this up.  That interaction was bad enough.  I really don't want my social media feeds and text messages reminding me all day long, no matter how well meaning.

Research supposedly says telling everyone is the best way.  Not sure I agree.  What are your experiences?

[lynnel331]

Thank you for this post! I have not quit as of yet, my new quit date is July 31...I have not told many people yet, a few friends that i knew would be supportive.. Some who have already quit and their advice has been very helpful - Thank You Bookee   🙂  . For me it is a choice to protect myself for a while especially at work where there are a few people who secretly would love to see you fail! I don' t really smoke at work any more.. occasionally and usually at lunchtime. A friend of mine at work announced he was going to stop and they laughed at him or would say why don't you go have a cigarette when they knew he was trying to quit... I don't need their negativity. I also feel for me if I have to constantly be talking about it, it keeps it right up there in my face and on my mind. I am glad I was introduced to this group. A friend of mine recently passed away unexpectedly. She was diagnosed with COPD 5 or 6 years ago, and even though she had quit and had rave reviews from her Doctors it was still part of the complications of her death. I did speak to my Dr. about it He told me I was pretty healthy and now would be the best time to do it before there was a reason I had to. So I do feel comfortable with the group of people I have shared it with, and when I am comfortable, I will choose to tell the rest. For me this I feel is my best way of success. Wish me luck!! I also welcome any advice any of you wat to share! Thanks again, Lynne

[Diannnnn]

Welcome lynnel331‌! I can totally understand not sharing your quit plan with people who you think will be supportive. They don't deserve to be a part of something so cool.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I bet she is cheering you on right now though.

Best advice I can give you is to read everything you can on EX. There is a wealth of information and it takes time to get through it all. Make sure you are planning what you are going to do instead of smoking. Distractions and staying busy are helping me.

You can do this!

Dian

[lynnel331]

Thank You Dian! I know that she is my best cheerleader and nudging me every day.. I have been reading a lot here. Except for one of my kitchen drawers, the rest have all become junk/ catch all. My plan when I feel like smoking is to tackle them one drawer at a time, and then move on to my closets. By the time I can call myself an EX my house should be immaculate! lol. and when I don't feel like doing that I want to work on a scrapbook for my neice. That will be a happy experience

[TW517]

Hi lynnel331 ! Sounds like a good plan for you.  I did worry about the accountability issue.  The fewer people who know, the easier it would be to cheat because the less people I would be embarrassed to admit my failings to.  But it sounds like you have other issues that can over ride that.  And like I mentioned before, telling people wasn't enough to keep me from failing on my previous attempts.

You will get great advice exploring this site, and by posting questions and blogs.  My best advice is: Don't try to quit.  Decide to quit.

[jconfusion]

yeah when I was younger I wasn't ready to quit yet , ibut after reading what it was going to my cats already damanged eyes when he was born, I decided to quit that day because I love my cat I bought Nicorette gum for three months  and threw my smokes out.  the only reason I state smoking is because the guy I liked smelled like smoke. it was a really stupid reason to start and if I can quit drinking and doing drugs cigs were just as bad and quitting other addictions such as food other stuff get easier one day at atime... just remember a journey doesn't truly start until you take that first step.

[elvan]

Well said, thank you and thank you for loving your cats so much.

[lynnel331]

I too have a cat that I worry what my smoking is doing to her little lungs. She is one of the reasons I want to quit. She is only 4 and when I quit we can start to heal together.

[elvan]

lynnel331  GOOD for you and good for your cat!

[lynnel331]

Thank you for the advice! I love this -  My best advice is: Don't try to quit.  Decide to quit.

[elvan]

I understand that you feel that if you have to constantly be talking about it, it is going to make it harder for you...NOT if it is HERE...when we first quit, smoking IS on our minds pretty constantly but if we come here and share that with the other people here, we actually get stronger.  I came here every morning and every evening at the beginning of my quit, and now over three years later, I still do.  I hope you are preparing and doing the recommended reading, including JonesCarpeDiem‌'s page and his essay, "What to Expect the first 140 days."  Coming here made my quit stronger and did not make me think about cigarettes more...it made me realize all of the choices I have AND I was able to start on this amazing journey.  Start getting familiar with the site now, it will help when you quit.

Welcome to EX and best to you and bookee6‌

Ellen