60 full days in and I'm the most angry person on the planet

[gov62]

I quit! April 23rd in my periodontist's office before 2 major LANAP surgeries. Eat or smoke - my choices approaching 50 years old. 

 I choose food. My quit sucks. I miss coffee and alcohol. I have no social life and I'm walking around pissed off all day - every day.

I go back to my dr end of August to check my healing and how to move forward with implants. If by some chance he can't fix me I'm going to smoke again.

Can anyone please advise how to feel normal for an hour???? I hate myself.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Sorry for your problems. You hate yourself. Now, this is a lot, but not the first time I have heard about someone's anger.  It seems that you were forced to quit smoking. Unfortunately, there is little that I can say to make you feel better.  Only you have the answer to what can make you happy. Can you think of a reason to love yourself?  Try telling yourself some positive things. Think of the benefits of not smoking.  If you can not think of any, fake it until you make it.   At 50 years old it may be the time you had to make a choice smoke or not smoke.    Happy or Sad.  It is all up to you, a choice.  

[marciem]

Hi gov... Welcome~

Dittoo what Jackie says about about "faking it til you making it" or something like that...  Angry was a way of life for me the first three or four months I quit, and I made the choice to quit, not forced into the choice.   So you're getting the double-whammy of "mad because you didn't really want to quit at that time" and "angry at the world because emotions are no longer masked by smoking".  That's what I'm seeing anyway.

It is not too late to make the decision that you really DO want to quit, not for surgery, not at doctor's orders, but because it is what YOU want.  It is all about mindset.   Coming here, and reading reading reading everything available, and talking it out and getting pointers on how to change that mindset, can help you learn to LOVE your quit, cherish it like a newborn baby, coddle it and protect it with your life and really enjoy the benefits of no longer being a slave to addiction.

Mindset mindset mindset.  That's the bottom line.  Smokers don't GET to smoke, they HAVE to smoke.  You no longer HAVE to smoke.  But it is a process, not an event, and you still have time to learn to get comfortable in your new non-smoking skin before you decide it isn't worth the effort.  You ARE worth the effort, and there are whole new reasons to love yourself once you've quit smoking.  No more social pariah, no more stinky hands, clothes, hair, body, car...

You might sit down and really look at your life now as opposed to life as a smoker,  and look for the benefits you are already realizing (write them down!).  They may be small, but they're there!!

One of my unexpected benefits from quitting smoking has been a huge increase in my own self esteem.  I love myself a lot more than I did, without knowing it was going to happen!

Best wishes.  I'm sorry for all you're going through.  Let this place be your guide to a happy quit!

[gov62]

Double whammy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

60 days is HUGE!  The nicotine is out of your system!  The craves didn't kill you.  Think about how much money you have saved!  You are probably angry because you see this as something forced ON you.  Try changing your thinking around to the fact that this truly is an excuse for you to get healthy, to quit hopefully BEFORE the effects of smoking start to take their toll.  And they WILL - make no mistake about that.  Change your thinking around so that you make not smoking a CHOICE you are making and see if you don't feel a tad better?

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” It will help you to understand that all the benefits you THINK you get from smoking are all lies  - they honestly are.  You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[elvan]

I can feel your anger coming off the page.  I strongly suggest that you find ways to channel your anger...run, bike, beat up a pillow.  This is a journey and recovery takes time.  Your peridontal disease is not the only thing to worry about, take if from someone with COPD...NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is worth smoking over.  Find a NEW way to socialize, surely drinking alcohol is not absolutely necessary and I KNOW smoking isn't.  Is your "social life" worth dying over?

You need to have a plan and FOLLOW it and know that every single one of us had to start at the beginning...there are very few who will tell you that it was easy for them.  I smoked for 47 years but I have been smoke free for 4 1/2 years now and I would not go back for ANYTHING.  This is a journey...follow a NEW path.  It gets easier but you HAVE to let go of the anger.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

[kristen-9-7-15]

Hey there!  Congrats on 60 days!!  I know you're not excited but I am!  It sounds like your were forced to quit.  Why don't you tell us why you want to continue smoking?  What do you like about your new smoke free life?  Make a list of pros and cons.  I guarantee you the list of pros will beat the cons!

[gov62]

A list.

I do not feel like me without a cigarette.

I actually got a physical from my dr because of how awful my quit symptoms were and are - the physical is getting better - the mental not so much.

I asked my dr to give me permission to smoke again as I saw no medical improvements 30 something days in. He laughed at me and said to cut myself a break. A 33 year coping mechanism for every emotion is hard to dissolve.

So at this time I do not have pros - the money I save is laterally moving to the payments I will be making on my dental work through 2019. : (

I am grateful for your words. Im just mad at the world

[kristen-9-7-15]

Ok. Here’s a pro.  You are able to put the money you saved by not smoking towards your dental work. If you were smokin, you would be adding on debt.  

[JonesCarpeDiem]

You are in no mans land.

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months