My husband is out of town, he left yesterday and won't be back in until tomorrow...He has been my pillar for every time I've tried to quit. However this time I wanted to prove to myself that I can do this on my own. I often find that I used smoking as a crutch to make me feel better in times of woes or stress. I also have looked at that I have tried to quit for his sake and not my own. I have a really difficult time opening up to friends and family about the fact that I'm an ex-smoker now because they look at my past and how I've relapsed and gone back. It's disapointing and frustrating. So for the past week the only people I have really told were my co-workers (so they could be prepared for the mood swings. Not nessicarily for the support but just for their own awareness. My husband and a few friends. The frustrating thing is that I feel like the kid stuck at home with measles because all my friends smoke and drink and I can't do either of those things. The most frustrating thing is the fact that I feel this uncomfortable being alone, by myself.
Tonight I've been really shaky, I've had more cravings then before( I've counted and in the past hour and a half I've had 4 cravings). I decided to do the incentive rule for myself. That for the time I've spent not smoking I would reward myself with something. Today I went and got my hair done. It feels kinda nice and it feels like I'm making a new start.
I've also talked to my dentist about a week ago and got my cleaning done. I have whitening strips at home so I'm gonna start doing those so I can be back to my pretty pearlies like I had when I was younger.
I just needed some support. I don't know how this site works but I hope that someone can help me. I need a helping hand and someone that is going through the same.
As of recent I have tried Zyban. I started it a week before and on Tuesday I grabbed what was left of my pack and threw it in the garbage. It was such a liberating feeling, I thought to myself of course that I'd want to go back but I don't.
