1 1/2 days until my quit date

[JAA13]

I think I have prepared myself to handle triggers.  I have done the research and the reading recommended.  I have spent hours thinking about quitting and preparing to quit.  I have written down the reasons I want to quit and have posted them everywhere.  I think I can.  But, I am so scared I want to cry!  As I write this, tears are welling up in my eyes.  I am afraid to fail.  I am afraid I won't be able to throw away that partial bag of tobacco and cigarette roller.  I really have enjoyed smoking, but I KNOW how bad it is.  It is hurting me.  I need to break up with the addition.  I left an abusive relationship 9 years ago, and it feels like that.  Saying good-bye hurt.  I cried for days even though I knew it was the right thing to do.  After I left him, I still thought about him and wanted him, but I NEVER went back.  After 6 months or so, I was completely over it.  And didn't replace him with another, but just found my happy self once again.  So many people told me to leave him throughout the years, and I knew I should have, but didn't listen.  I had to do it myself.  Quitting smoking really, really, feels like those times.  I am scared and know I must quit, but am afraid I might not be able to.  I feel physically ill thinking about it.

[maryfreecig]

Please do!!! Thanks for blogging and welcome to Ex. Yes you can, one day at a time.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I think you should carry a lemon at all times.

and make sure you get a real sour one.

I guarantee if you bite into that thing, skin and all, it will stop any craving.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

GUARANTEED

[Strudel]

You CAN do this! Really! All of us have felt that fear that you describe. It really helped me to realize that I wasn't giving up anything! Just like that bad relationship - smoking is giving you nothing! If you haven't already, please check out the book by Allen Carr - " The Easy Way to Quit Smoking". And - stick around! Congrats on a wonderful decision! 

[JAA13]

I just bought the book for audible. I have downloaded it and will start listening tonight. Since you are like the fourth person son who has mentioned it, I figured I had better check it out. Thank you!!!!

[BHnCA]

These comments really hit home.  The fear of failure, as well as endings, are one in the same to me. It’s all about that “identity” thing and painful losses can blow a hole in that.  Cigarettes became my vice at those times and for so many years, afterwards, that I’m not sure who I will be without them. I try visualizing the difference. Intellectually, I KNOW my health will be better off without cigarettes, but will I feel comfortable in my new skin? That’s my biggest fright.

[JAA13]

I was going to quit a day early but I broke down and went and bought the pack. So, I admire you were able to stop yourself. Just talking about the fear and using this forum as a sounding board with such positive feedback, I know we can do this!!!      

[BHnCA]

WE HAVE TO!

[Annbriz]

I was in an abusive relationship also, thank you for the analogy.  That helps me compare my smoking habit to another way that I need to be healthy for my kids.  

[Giulia]

Welcome to EX!  Just a head's up, the person who wrote this blog two years ago is no longer an active member.  Never a bad idea to take a glance at the date the blog or responses were written.  Otherwise you may end up talking to yourself (grin).  Didn't want you to think there was nobody here.  You might just want to put a blog up yourself as an introduction.  It's easy.  Click on the little pencil to the right of your avatar (upper right) and select “Blog post - share your thoughts.”  Give it a title, write the body, then click Publish.  

There are others here who have been in abusive relationships..  You are not alone.