Today is DOF 1. It has been a REALLY rough morning so far, but I did it. I beat some previously unbeatable situations and didn't cave (arguing with the spouse - it has always led to me caving, but not this time!) It feels great to know that I have this power in me to beat my cravings. I told myself, "Rosie, if you light a cigarette you will still feel upset and it won't change anything. It will only make you sick. Do you want that?"
One thing I am very concerned about is that I did scan the apartment for cigarettes (not searching, but as I made coffee, my eyes were scanning the area). I had a conversation with my addict about this response to our conscious decision to break free from addiction and to heal. I documented the event here and in my stop smoking app. I took about 20 minutes to breathe and scroll through Facebook. I checked my bank account. Sipped more coffee and stared out the window. I let it pass.
I do also worry that the Chantix won't work as well as I thought or expected. Today is day 7 of taking it, so I just took my dose increase (maybe that will actually alleviate my concerns). I'm worried that since I took it as directed and continued to smoke, my brain created MORE nicotinic receptors, just to accommodate the nicotine that had no place to go. I've tried looking online for anything that would either prove or disprove this fear, but I haven't found any real study. Has anyone felt like Chantix makes them want to smoke more?
