Thanks everyone so far. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my standoffishness (Yes, I am permitted to invent words 😉 about not apologizing, etc.. I've dealt with people so many times that seem to expect it so i hope nobody has taken me as someone who thinks I'm better than anyone else. I know better than that or I wouldn't be sitting here admitting to being on methadone in the first place. I happen to agree they probably should have rehabs for nicotine, but that's another argument I would never win anyway.
Deborah, I'm sorry to hear your situation. I lost my mate of 22 years a while back too and it came at a bad time..as IF there is a good time?
I sat under a bridge one day bawling like a baby and thinking seriously of walking in front of the train that was speeding along just in front of me. Somewhere along that time I began to pray and like the typical miracle I soon stood up, stopped crying and walked back from whence I came and didn't have that thought again since.. I don't go to church and don't push any religion nor will I, but I still am at a loss to explain it other than to think there was some sort of divine intervention. Before that moment I swore there was no such thing...Now I'm not so sure..
Anyway..I'm glad you didn't jump or drive off the cliff and if he doesn't care then you're likely better off without someone who doesn't care if you do that. I can't imagine being so uncaring..or so arrogant to think they know your heart so well as to deny any compassion in your time of need.
So, anyway.. I'm at 90 mgs daily of methadone (for anyone who doesn't know, methadone is a doctor prescribed medication to replace heroin and to get rid of the overwhelming withdraw symptoms. Heroin withdraw is extremely painful and produces violent physical reactions. It's probably not as hard to quit as nicotine only because nicotine is legal and nobody is locked up for the habit. It's long been associated with the morning coffee, drinking, relaxation, etc. while heroin is none of the above. Heroin is widely misunderstood as a simple weakness and moral issue and I guess nicotine is too to some degree, but the withdraw of nicotine produces only mild withdraw symptoms in comparison..
And one other thing..please don't think I'm picking on you.. heroin is spelled without a final 'e'.. That would be a female hero.. How ironic, eh?..
Oh yeah.. I was going to mention that my 90 mgs goes down about 5 mgs a week now. Some weeks it's less, some more depending on my body's reaction which can be severe..
Thanks once again.. I do believe I will wait and report back then. I'm rolling my own cigs now.. They're OK though. I use filters still..
Tata..and thanks
Mart eye