When we decide to make a significant change in our lives, such as quitting tobacco, we usually have a pretty good idea of why we want to make the change. Reasons such as “I want to feel better”, “to save money”, “I don’t like the way it smells”, and “it wastes a lot of time” are the common reasons that I tend to hear from patients.
Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with these reasons. Any reason to quit tobacco is a good reason in my book. However, these are very general, and we have an opportunity to identify deeper and richer reasons to quit, with just the investment of a little time and energy.
Now consider the difference between these reasons:
‘’I want to feel better.”
Compared to this:
“Once I quit using tobacco, I know I will feel better physically which will enable me to do more of the things I love like walking, playing golf, and dancing. I will also feel better emotionally and psychologically, as it will be such a relief to put down that weight I carry around every day of acting in a way that goes against my values.”
Or consider this one:
“I want to save money.”
Compared to:
“When I am no longer spending money on tobacco, I will have more cash to spend on other things. I love traveling; and so, I plan to put the money I would have spent on tobacco aside each week to build a travel fund. I have always wanted to visit Costa Rica, and so I plan to go there. It is exciting to think about planning that trip! I want to see the beach and the forest; and the monkeys, that some say, may come up to you and try to grab your food!”
Or this:
“I don’t like the way it smells.”
Compared to:
“I am so ready to be done with the smell of tobacco! I spend a lot of time trying to cover up the smell by washing my hands, changing my clothes, putting on scented lotion, etc. An even bigger issue is all the time I spend worrying about others smelling it. It will feel so freeing to save that time and not have those worries!”
And finally, this:
“It wastes a lot of time.”
Compared to:
“When I am free of tobacco, I will have more time to connect with friends without interruption or feeling distracted. That will be very meaningful to me, as staying connected to my loved ones is something I value dearly. Many people have made comments to me over the years about my seeming distracted or ‘disappearing’ regularly; and it has caused some drama in my relationships. I look forward to having more time to focus on the people that really matter to me.”
Of course, these are just a few examples of how much more powerful we can make our reasons for quitting tobacco by spending just a little more time and effort ‘shaping’ them. Having stronger and more personal reasons to quit will enhance our incentive and bolster our chances of succeeding.
Tim Milbrandt, MS, LMFT
Addictions Coordinator /CTTS
credit: Photo by Ana Tavares on Unsplash
