Is There A Child In Your Life That Can Increase Your Motivation To Stop Using Tobacco?

[Dr_Hurt]

Many people live with a child, or have a special child in their life.  Children, with their innocence, can provide hope and inspiration to many things we try and do.  Your child, grandchild, or some other special child you know can be a great motivator to help you stop using tobacco.

We all want the best for the children in our lives.  We want to spend quality time with them doing fun things.  In stopping tobacco use, you can improve your health so that you are able to do these things now and in the future.  You can enjoy a football game together, go fishing, go for a walk, watch their soccer game or ballet recital, go out for ice cream, go camping, or just hang out.  This is what children dream about doing with their parents, grandparents or another special adult in their life.

We also hope for our children to be healthy. Living with someone who smokes increases a child’s risk of being hospitalized for a respiratory problem and increases the number of emergency room visits and doctor visits they have.  And now there is talk about “third hand smoke”, the tobacco smoke contamination that remains after the cigarette is put out.  What might this be doing to the children we love, even when we do not smoke around them?

Lastly, we all wonder what our children’s future will bring.  What they might do when they grow up?Or, if they will have children?  We hope that they will grow up to be healthy and happy.  We certainly hope they will not use tobacco.  However, children are more likely to start using tobacco if one of their parents does.  As a role model for the child in your life, you can show them that you can quit using tobacco. Click here to get the resources http://www.becomeanex.org/learn_how.php  you need to be able to quit using tobacco for good and start enjoying time with your child, grandchild or other special child tobacco free.  They won’t stay young forever.

Dr. Richard D. Hurt is an internationally recognized expert on tobacco dependence. A native of Murray, Kentucky, he joined Mayo Clinic in 1976 and is now a Professor of Medicine at its College of Medicine. In 1988, he founded the Mayo Clinic Nicotine Dependence Center and since then its staff has treated over 33,000 patients for tobacco dependence. Send your questions directly to Dr. Hurt at AskTheExpert@becomeanex.org

[gmvirtual_gina]

Dr Hurt, this is an awesome concept.....BUT - in the mind of any addict, we will hide from anyone loved one long before we'd consider quitting for them or remaining quit for them....them = anyone.  I learned from this site last April and this awesome support group, that when we quit it absolutely, unequivocally MUSt be for ourselves only.  In fact somewhere around my 5 month quit, my husband and I had an arguement, and he had been telling me how much he loved "my quit" and how he'd really hate it if I ever went back and during the arguement I said, screw it and went and bought smokes to smoke right in front of him.  that was the moment I let my quit be "his" and not mine!  from there on I told him, it's great that you love that I quit, but don't give it too much recognition, because in the mind of "this" addict, I'll give you the power and not myself.  Once we lose that "power" and put on someone else, the demon tells us, it becomes ok to hide it or do it.

I learned here, through many strong members....that our demon can be fought - but only by ourselves, motivated by ourselves.  Sorry to dump all of this on your post.  It's a great blog and in theory it sounds great to quit and stay quit for the children.  But it won't motivate an addict to stop.  It's may be the reason they try....but won't be the reason they stay quit.  I challenge a quitter to disagree!!  Next week will be 10 months for me!! Woot woot!

[kaf1968]

10 months!  That is aewsome!!  Today begins my 6th week.  I am worried that once it gets warmer outside, I will be more tempted to smoke.

[marie23]

I agree with Dr. Hurt I myself have a 2 new Grandbabies that I care for. They were a major motivation for me to quit and stay quit. So for me my loved ones are great great great motivation and help give me the strength to stay quit  Never ever underestimate the power of love it can do amazing things.

[gmvirtual_gina]

ahhhh.... that worry is your demon!  That's what I call it anyway!  Even to this day, I worry about drinking, or camping around friends that smoke, or certain event triggers.  the worry will make you feel weak.  I can't stress enough how important it is to focus on right now.  I always said in the beginning, how I needed to take one second at a time, and one minute at a time.....at 6 weeks you're likely one hour and one day at a time most days.....but probably still one minute at a time depending on what's going on.  even at 10 months...I still have my moments.  but when I worry about "tomorrow' I feel weak and I get worried even more.  Just focus on right now.  breathe. deeply, breathe.  always breathe through it.  someone told me once, when I felt tempted to go and buy a pack....to take an hour, breathe through it, scream through it....but take that hour.  the urge passes....it gets a bit better.  the small time you take gives you the strength to decide against it.  Smell your clothes, your fingers, your hair.  recognize how good it smells.  take a deep breathe and notice your lungs.  remember you are missing a "friend" - your long time "smoke" - you don't actually miss the act of smoking, the smoke itself, you miss the moment.  That moment .....ah that moment you used to "step away" from the chaos....that moment your mind now misses because it never gets to have it any more.  It's like a friend that has died, or even worse, it's like losing a parent or a loved one.  You NEVER fill the hole, the void, you learn to distract, you learn to enjoy new things.  You learn to kill the demon when he rears his head.  but when people say "I can't" ....it's because they let the demon win.  They are convinced he is stronger.  He is not.  you are in control ....IF you admit you are and allow yourself.  The demon does not take over you and force you to go buy a pack and light it and inhale it.  It's a thought process. your brain says, "ah hell, I'm sick of fighting it today.  I want one dammit!  I'm going to make a conscious effort to drive down and buy a pack and open it and pull out the lighter and put that thing in my mouth and light the lighter!"   did you notice how MANY steps are involved in that action????  a lot!  many chances for your strong brain to say "ummmm NOPE!  I'm not letting that demon win!" ......all of these steps are steps you would take to light up.....are all chances to control your demon.  Fight back and say, NO WAY!...!!  I'm keeping my quit.  Going through the thoughts and thinking of lighting up....that's normal.  It's how you kill the thoughts....how you kill that demon each time he tries to come back to life.

You can stay quit.  Like the loss of a loved one, you will always have a hole.  I smoked a pack a day for 25 yrs.  It's going to take a lot longer than 10 months for me to replace that "love" or so I thought it was.  But as each day passes and my quit is farther behind me, I get a bit more empowered. 

Just always make sure your quit is YOURS!!  Don't let a loved one tell you your quit is theirs.  Once you make your quit not yours, your demon will try to reason with you.  "Oh that person won't know if you sneak, or if you just have one"....all those stupid reasonings.  those are the thoughts of your addiction.  if your quit is yours, because YOU chose it, you will keep your power.  and when the weak day comes, take a moment,......breathe.  scream. breathe. one minute at a time, one second at a time if you need to.  But feel it, feel your anger and feel yourself work through it, because that is your power that will pull you through the next time you want to light up.

Just don't tell yourself you "CAN'T"......there are far too many steps in "lighting up" that give you the moment to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!!!

Congrats on your SIX WEEKS!!! that's AWESOME!!

[six-months]

I have been very pleasantly surprised by the response of my 16 year old daughter in my quit.  The first day she was with her dad and sent me the most beatiful text.  "Mommy (doesn't usually call me that anymore) I love you, you are the best Mom you have worked so hard for Brian and me (my son) you are the best Mom. You Deserve This!!! and you can do it. "

In the three days since I have had some tense momemets and she in every case has been positive and supportive. 

I am surprised by her understanding of addiction, the chemicals in cigarrettes etc.. I always knew she was special but of course as a 16 year old pretty consumed with her world.  I truly did not know how great she would be through this and one reason I would use to not stop was how cranky I would be around her and then I would be a bad Mom.  I did not want to show any weakness, which of course I was showing by smoking.  And either way she knows we all have weakness's and of course we love each other anyway...

What a wonderful surprising lesson I have learned by  quitting..I thank the Lord for this process!!

Blessings Kim

[baby-oprah]

Just wanted to say Thanks to Marie Burgess for her post.  Worry is my demon...more than worry...fear...I get so consumed by fear that I feel shamed for being afraid...My quit date is Thursday and I was totally going to just reset the quit clock and make up an excuse for giving up...but the real issue is that I am afraid.  Afraid of realizing that I won't have that "moment" anymore, that I'll just have to deal with stress...realizing this is a very scary thing since I'm so used to smoking.  It actually feels like I'll be missing out on something...I guess thats the demon talking.  Just like you said...the fear that I feel makes me feel weak, and that make me feel bad about myself, which leads to anxiety which leads to a smoke filled pity party...I wonder how I will deal with others and worry that I'll be too bitchy to be around others...its like my brain is actually coming up with all of these reasons why I shouldn't quit... and it's very effective... 

Thanks alot Marie for your post.  I'm scared as hell, but I'm going to give it a real try...this will be the first time I have tried and I'm going to give it my all...

[stacylynn-is-alive]

anxiety fear of  failure is my concern so not to many people  will know my goal with less people knowing  less anxiety its in my head they all know how do you hide smoking 4 packs a day i always have a cigarette in my hand & one in ash tray and  3 packs in my bag my huband smokes one pack a day and is ready and willing when i am will he be able to handle the mood swings he has went threw alot already when i had cancer in 2001 i quit for 6 month after the doc said we didn't get it this time and will have to look into other options i was done when i left his office the 1st thing i did was go by a pack of cig's that was 10 years ago my doctor now thinks quiting now whould not be the best for me my goal was to qiut smoking after one year of not drinking  that was easter sunday 2009 we are going on 2 yaers and now anger is setting in..smoking comes before bills food and thing we really need not want any advise would be nice i work in telemarketing/sales a stress ful job but i like the rewards of hitting my goals                                     stacylynn is alive