Is FEAR holding you back?

[NDC_Team]

FEAR - such a simple four-letter word; but oh, so powerful! It is powerful because it is often the one thing that holds us back from trying for and reaching our goals.  And so, we remain “stuck” in our current situation. Fear can be the most common reason people procrastinate or fail to act on their goals, such as stopping tobacco use. Reasons people may fear quitting can range from failure or rejection to angering or disappointing other people.

And so how do we typically respond then when fear plays a role? We play it safe and just avoid making that quit attempt…

So, just where does this fear come from? The truth is… it comes from within yourself. It is common to scare yourself by imagining the worst possible scenario when attempting to quit tobacco. However, remember, even if we imagine a poor outcome, it does not mean that it will happen, or even that the experience will be as painful as we might think.

But just how do we overcome our fear? So, since we are the source of our fear, we also hold the power to overcome it. Instead of allowing ourselves to become paralyzed in our fear, we can take control by changing our thoughts from negative to positive.

Consider the following fear-based statement:

I want to stop tobacco; however, I scare myself by imagining that I will fail, and my family will be disappointed in me.

And now consider this one:

I want to stop tobacco; and I know that I can do it by using all the tools available to me and leaning on my support people for help.

The first statement was fear-based. However, when we transform the statement, as in the second example, it becomes a powerful vision that gets you motivated and helps you see a successful outcome. Being able to visualize your success gives you the desire and hope for change.

Now, the next time you have those annoying self-defeating thoughts, try replacing them with more positive ones. Positive, affirming statements can help you create a more successful mindset. And if you state these affirmations as if you have already achieved your goal, you can really envision what your tobacco free future could look like.

Such statements of affirmation as, “I am so happy to be tobacco free and my family is so proud that I have quit” can motivate you toward success and help you achieve that reality.

Now, the next time you feel “stuck,” remember that it is driven by fear; so, take a leap of faith and try to make that quit attempt anyway. Do not allow the opportunity to become tobacco free pass you by.

What fear-based thoughts are holding you back from making that quit attempt? And how might you transform those thoughts into more positive statements?

Heather Kraling-Coons, MA
NDC Counselor/CTTS

Photo by M.T ElGassier

[chuck03104]

My quit date is a week away and today I am learning about dealing with triggers. In general I'm single and lonely at times anyway.

I think I have a good idea to become distracted. I live fairly close to a mall. So I can go to the mall when I need to be distracted and start a conversation with a stranger about quitting smoking. Millions and millions of people have quit before I choose to quit. What might be the chance of speaking to someone and come to find out that they quit smoking too?

Chuck 

[MikeBurke]

Yes Chuck, being able to talk with someone who has quit, or understanding the quit process, can certainly help.  It might be more direct and individualized though if instead of selecting a random stranger to talk with, that you log onto the EX Community and join in when a discussion or information seems most applicable to your situation.  Another idea might be to contact one of the experts at your state tobacco quitline at 1800 Quit Now Five Reasons Why Calling a Quitline Can Be Key to Your Success | Quit Smoking | Tips From Former Smo... 

best of luck with your quit day!

Mike

[20473138]

I have tried this before and I felt like I was becoming a whole different person. I literally went through nicotine withdraw and it scared me. I literally gained several pounds. The fear is I don't like the withdraw feeling but I know its worth it in the end.  

[TonjaBassal]

I quit once for two years and expected good remarks from family. One day my husband was fighting with me and said some.very negative remarks that hurt my feelings and I felt I mostly quit for him!! So in no time I picked them back up and started smoking again!!

[CommunityAdmin]

@20473138  I get that that can be something not to look forward to, but that experience will be temporary.  

@TonjaBassal sorry to hear that you went through a stressful experience.  Quit for you.  Don’t give yourself a reason that it’s an okay to go back to it.  

[Barbscloud]

@20473138 Welcome to the Ex.  This is hard at first, but will get better.   Withdrawal symptoms aren't fun, but if you look at it as your body is healing it appreaciate that it's worth it.  

If you haven't done so already, read material on the site to learn about nicotine addiction and have a quit plan in place.  I was fortunate to find the Ex a week prior to my quit.  I learned about nicotine addiction and that I needed a plan that would prepare me for what I was going to encounter on my journey.  And for the first time, I had the support of fellow quitters.

Take the time to learn how to do this.  Part of it is mindset and part of it is hands on work identifying triggers, what tools you'll use, what associations you'll create instead of smoking, etc.   Spend time on the site, getting a well as giving support.  The early days take commitment so why not have other quitters to help you deal with the up and downs of this journey.

This link is a great place to start

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

We're here for you so reach out anytime we can help.    Going for walk if you're able, is a great way to refocus your thinking and get an added boost of dopamine.   Spend time on the site when you need it the most 

Consider taking the Daily Pledge.  It's a great way to stay on track one day at a time, even the weekend.

Stay busy and stay close.

Barb

[Barbscloud]

@TonjaBassal Welcome to the Ex.  Glad you haven't given up on quitting.  At times it can be hard, but we have to remember it's our quit, no one else's.   It's not uncommon  when someone hurts for us to turn that hurt on ourselves.   So be prepared this time.   Have a plan in place when situations like that happen, you know what you'll do instead of smoking. 

This link is a great place to start to learn about nicotine addiction and have a plan in place to deal with cravings, triggers, and creating new associations instead of smoking.

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?

We're here for you so reach out anytime we can help.    Going for walk if you're able, is a great way to refocus your thinking and get an added boost of dopamine.   Spend time on the site when you need it the most.

Consider taking the Daily Pledge.  It's a great way to stay on track one day at a time, even the weekend.

Stay busy and stay close.

Barb

[NelsP]

Fear of feeling uncomfortable and not being able to medicate certain emotions was what kept me smoking.I think there is such an emotional attachment to it as well as an intimate relationship relying on it for comfort that the fear of not being able to regulate emotions (or so we think) is the biggest hurdle.I acknowledge my cravings as a fear of being uncomfortable and it really helps.

[Steelers4]

I am terrified of quitting the nasal spray I am upset I cry then I am happy then zzzzi get depressed insecure,  my emotions are all over the place I do not know what to do. Today is the 15th of not smoking a cig.

[MollyLeis]

@Steelers4 congratulations on not smoking for 15 days.  That is an accomplishment in and of itself.  You must have a lot of motivation and it sounds like you are using the nicotine replacement.  Keep using it. Dont worry about getting off it.  Its only been 15 days.  Its recommended to use replacement therapy for 3-6 months.  You are buying yourself time to work on the habit and coping skills to replace the cigarette and you don't have to worry about withdrawal so much.  Keep it up.  🙂

[Steelers4]

thank you for the compliment!  It is the B.S. With the Cleveland Clinic and my hip surgery that is driving me crazy!  Today I can barely walk this is why they put my surgery date back from Feb 27th to March 23rd.  So they say I personally think they used it as an excuse to put someone else in my date for surgery b/c I don't wine an complain 24/7.

[CW64]

Steelers 4   I'm having hip surgery on March 23rd also! How funny! I'm having to stop the nicorette gum. It has been really hard. Very bad cravings. But I do have the motivation 

[Steelers4]

@CW64, hey at   How long has it been for you without smoking?  This is been about my 4th or 5th time I never really had a reason to quit.  I was in a town I hated nobody was older than me and not  multiculteral.  Which I have always growen up in.  My motivation I cam barely walk so for me to walk and be athletic again be able to go to gym etc.  That is why I am so motivated.  Basically I want My life I am not able to shopping or barely clean house etc,  Youbsee my dad is always on conference calls that are international 24/7.  He works in the yard which I used to do,  He is 82 and I feel terrible b/c then he cooks a like a goumte chef.  That is why I am so motivated and I am si b/cck and tired of feeling like b.s  and picking up a cig and having a few puffs and going thru the cycle all over again.  Would you want to keep feeling like this constantly.  I jnow I don't.  When I was using the nicorette I liked the losengers better ve b/c I would just put them under my tounge and let them delov,  That way I was able to get more nicotine in to me that way than gum.  I know thhe 1800 number does not give out nicotine tabs though,  I always got mine at walmart I think it was the walmart brand.  Have good one

[HeatherKraling]

@CW64- When you experience a craving it can be helpful to pause and notice what is triggering the urge to smoke. If you can identify what is driving the urge, and if you can meet that need differently, the urge to smoke will go away. For example, if you are feeling bored, go find something to do; if you are feeling lonely, call or text a friend, or reach out the becomeanex community. If you can find a different way to meet your need, the urge to smoke will go away. You got this! 😉

[Steelers4]

My dr, messed up my prescription of the nicatrol spray,  So I have to go 3 days with no nicatrol,  So lets see what happens,  I know I can't smoke though.  Hopefully I will not be a bear to my dad,  This is gonna be a fun weekend.  I know what I can do to keep busy but I am very limited b/c of this  leg.

[Barbscloud]

@Steelers4 You got this.  Keep distracted.  I played video games a lot (and still do play them).  The time passes quickly.

Stay close with weekend!

Barb

[Steelers4]

Thanks for the surport Barb!  So far so good if I get muchies I just bought some cezar salad mix to help also.  I guess I am getting also depressed b/c I can still drive b/c I am driving an automatic b/c sticks are hard to find theses days it is just the walking is the problem.  So I am  on the computer or watching t.v.  I have to find a cocktail dress for when we go to  the u.k. and they don;t have the carts to drive in a lot of the stores. so far today is day 19 free of smoking.

[Barbscloud]

@Steelers4 Super congrats on 19 days.  Be proud of your success.  I'm am!!!!

Barb

[Krenee59]

@Steelers4 Congratulations!! I am very ambivalent about this journey.  I want it so bad and I am working daily towards my quit date.  Sometimes, as it approaches I feel fearful of failure

[Barbscloud]

@Steelers4 I understand, being confined isn't fun.  Something special must be going on in the UK?  I do a lot of shopping online.   Check  the return policies--some are pretty liberal and it can be easy to exchange.  

Barb

[Barbscloud]

@Krenee59 Put the thoughts of failure out of your mind.  You only have to quit for one day--I know you can do that.   Focus on celebrating the 13th with your first day of success.   Then stay close to the site for support.  Quitters here saved my quit many times early on.

Keep learning and preparing.  Preparation and knowledge are powerful tools. 

Are you taking the Daily Pledge?  It's a great way to stay on track, support your fellow quitters and be accountable to yourself.  You don't have to wait until the 13th to do that.  I look forward to seeing you there.

Barb 

[BRWQUEEN7]

Good morning everyone. Today, the closer I get to my quit date of 03/01/23, I'm feeling anxious, worried, and nervous. I know that it will be worth it. I know that I'll save a lot more money. I just have to continue to trust God through this addiction and replace it with exercise, positive thoughts, and determination. 🙏🏽

[Barbscloud]

@BRWQUEEN7 What you're feeling is normal.   Smoking consumed our all of our activities and emotions.  That's why preparing now for those times really makes a difference for successful quit.  I can repeat what I just said @Krenee59 .   "You only have to quit for one day--I know you can do that.   Focus on celebrating the 1st with your first day of success.   Then stay close to the site for support.  Quitters here saved my quit many times early on."

You got this.  Stay close.

Barb

[BRWQUEEN7]

@Barbscloud Thank you so much for this reminder. I need it! 🙌🏽

[Krenee59]

@Barbscloud thank you for the reminders and for being so supportive and positive!

[20473138]

This is something that can actually be done with all the support that is offered between the community, the information provided and even the gum and patches. Stay focus and on bad days reach out that's what the community is here for.

God Luck everyone.   

[chuck03104]

@ BRWQueen7

Two things I did that had a huge impact was switching from menthol to non-menthol and delaying the time before smoking so I can practice coping. It really helped me out.

Chuck 

[BRWQUEEN7]

@chuck03104 yes, thank you. I stopped smoking menthol cigarettes in January 2023. They stopped selling menthol cigarettes where I live. So I'm smoking regular cigarettes now. But my mission is to stop smoking completely. Coming very soon. Amen 🙏🏽 

[DhivyaaManickam]

@BRWQUEEN7  You can do this! are you using any quit aids to help cope with withdrawal symptoms? 

[BRWQUEEN7]

@DhivyaaManickam Yes, I am.  I'm getting through it. One second, minute, hour, moment at a time. Thank you for reaching out. Appreciate you

[CommunityAdmin]

@CW64 Surgery is coming up. How are you?

[BRWQUEEN7]

Hi @CW64 praying that everything goes well with your surgery. Praying you have a blessed speedy recovery. Amen 🙏🏽