Grieving a loss in life is always difficult. Whether you are grieving the death of a friend or family member, the loss of an important relationship through estrangement, separation or divorce, the incarceration of a loved one, losing a job, or suffering a major health issue, these things always leave us feeling very vulnerable, and perhaps, just a little more alone in the world.
When this happens, it is natural to look toward the familiar ways we have tried to cope with losses in life. And for many tobacco users, this means returning to tobacco use to deal with these feelings of sadness.
For many who use tobacco, there is a real relationship with the tobacco product, whether it's a cigarette, vape pen, or a Zyn pouch. It has been there for you through good times and challenging times. It doesn’t talk back or argue with you. It has been very dependable and steadfast. And when going through a loss in life, it may very well be the first thing you think of, as it has always been there for you.
However, if you are also trying to quit or stay quit from tobacco during a time of loss, this can assist in your grieving process. The nicotine in tobacco actually “blunts” your feelings, and this is why so many turn to using tobacco products when experiencing painful emotions. However, trying to quit at this time may assist you with experiencing your emotions more fully, thus allowing you to grieve more fully. After all, feeling sad when dealing with a loss is normal.
As noted in the article “Puffing away sadness” from Harvard Health Publishing (February 2020), “…normal sadness has an adaptive function: people experiencing sadness focus their attention internally and become better problem solvers.”
Further, the use of nicotine over time when feeling sad in response to a loss “…may also impair innate restorative responses… this may help to explain the association between smoking and depression.” So, instead of going through the natural grieving process, nicotine “hijacks” the brain from really working through that sadness. And rather than progressing toward healing, you may go into more of a depression.
What are some ways that you can get support when going through the grief process and trying to quit or stay quit?
1 - Utilize family and friends for support. Turning to those you perceive to be a ‘good listening ear’ for you when you need it can be an invaluable source of support.
2 – Journal about your process. It can be helpful to see where you have been and where you are going as you work through your grief.
3 – Seek out a grief support group. Depending on the type of loss, it can also be helpful to seek out a grief support group that would serve your needs.
4 –Find a new beginning for yourself. When you feel ready, try something that you never associated with tobacco use, such as a new hobby, activity, volunteer organization, or community education class. This may be a helpful addition to your routine as you move through your grieving process.
What have you found helpful when you are making a quit attempt or trying to stay quit while grieving a loss in your life?
