mother-of9 I am not even sure if I am doing this right but here goes. If you are wondering why I choose June 17 th ...it is my BD but my plans actually are sooner and the reason it My DIL died on Oct 28th 2012 (she was an alcoholic and her Liver finally shut down) My son is still having a hard time dealing with it. I talk to him on phone a lot...then there was 2 more deaths in Nov and Dec and then our Landlord here died on Jan 3rd. He was the only one we could count on if we needed help with anything including plowing our driveway when it snowed. We now have NO ONE...kind of sad but that is how it is in this area. Billy (my husband) and I are going up North on March 4th to look around and will be a hard trip with 4 Dogs but I will not board them and there is NO one I would trust to watch them (not that anyone has offered) We are going up by the son whos wife passed away and will be staying in a small apt at the Motel where he lives (he also has a sm apt) He is also the maintance Man at Motel when he is not working. Because they like him a lot they will rent a small apt that backs up to his and will prob be there for 3 months while looking around to buy. The bad part of this is my Dog's will not have a fenced in yard plus we live VERY rural and there will be people around and they will be barking a lot. They have never lived where we had neighbors. This is day 2 that I have been in this group and I have already cut back and am working hard on my trigger points. I actually light and smoke the same cigarette 2 or 3 times...that will help with not smoking as much. I am having problems with Doctors here (and we are not actually going to a real Dr..she is under the real doctor and everything is all about the money. Just sit and chat and send a bill for $101.00 and no real help. I am under a lot of stress from all of the things I mentioned above and since we live about 14 miles from store (1 way) that also makes it hard to quit. When I get down to 1 cigarette left I will think of any excuse to go to town. We are picking up a U Haul on April 5th and will be loading up and heading North. Once we get a little setteled in it will be easier to quit. Will make myself go outside to smoke and keep the smoke far away from my pets. It is kind of funny because since I signed up in this group it is almost like someone is keeping track of how often you smoke. I pick them up and then put them back a wait a little longer plus every time I light a cigarette I think of how much it cost. Guess I rambeled on enough for tonight..I will check in again tomorrow with another update. Thank you to all of you for your comments and help. I could not do this without some of you Hugs Nancy
