Becky16 HI BECKY, I GOT WOKE UP AT 3:43 THIS AM BY PHIL TURNING ON THE TV TO SEE WHAT TIME IT WAS, I COULD HAVE KILLED HIM, I WATCHED TV FO A LITTLE THEN WENT BACK TO SLEEP TIL 5, TIRED AGAIN, BUT PHILIP WILL BE DEAD.. DID YOU EVER GET MY LONG LONG MESSAGE, OR IS IT FLOATING IN THE WIND, NO NEW PM'S THIS AM, AND NO NEW MESSAGES SO MAYBE I DISAPPEARED, I AM SO TIRED I FEEL LIKE IT. (DISAPPEARED THAT IS) GOT TO SLEEP EARLY LAST NIGHT. YOU KNOW IT IS AMAZING, I USED TO READ ALL THE TIME, AND NOW PHILLIP HAS GOTTEN ME IN THE HABIT OF WATCHING OLD COWBOY MOVIES AND GET TIS WATCH SHOWS, YOU KNOW WHERE YOU BUY THEM, HE MUST HAVE A HUNDRED OF THEM, I BOUGT HIM AN INVICTA, (LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS) ANYWAY IT IS HUGE AND ORANGE AND IT MATCHES HIS NEW HARLEY BIKE, HE IS NUTS, I ESPECIALLY THINK SO THIS TIRED. WHAT IS NEW, WELL I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM MY DAUGHTER, I CALLED HEER THIS WEEK-END TO TELL HER THAT WHEN PHILIP WENT TO COOS BAY THE BIKE RIDE, THERE WAS A RAFFLE IN THE COMEDY SHOW AND HE WON ME A LEATHER BEAUTIFUL HARLEY JACKET, HOW I AM GOING TO PULL THIS OFF IS BEYOND ME, BLACK IS NOT MY COLOR, BELIEVE ME BECKY "NOT" AND I FREEZE TO DEATH ALL THE TIME, PLUS I DON'T LIKE BEING TOO HOT EITHER, HAVE I GOT A PROBLEM??? MAYBE??? ANYWAY I CALLED HER AND TOLD HER ABOUT THE JACKET AND SHE WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR ME BUT THREN I ASKED HER WHEN I COULD WATCH THE KIDS AND SHE SAID THEY WERE TOO BUSY TO DO THAT,( AND THEN GOT MAD) KENNY WORKS OUT OF TOWN AND WEEK-ENDS ARE FAMILY TIME, LAST I LOOKED AT HER BIRTH CERTIFICATE IT SAID I WAS FAMILY, MUST HAVE READ IT WRONG, YA THINK?? SHE LEAVES THEM WITH GET THIS BECKY MY MOTHER WHO IS 80 AND DRIVES LIKE A DRUNK AND FALLS DOWN EVERY OTHER DAY AND CAN'T GET UP, WHEN SHE NEEDS SOMEONE. I WILL NOW TELL YOU THE LAST 10 YEARS SINCE MY ARDS EPISODE, I HAVE HAD MANY PROBLEMS, AFTER ALL I WAS IN A COMA FOR 26 DAYS AND ALMOST DIED, WELL THE LAST 5 0R 6 YEARS I HAVE HAD DIZZY SPELLS, THEY HAVE EXACERBATED TO THE POINT OF WHERE THEY ARE RUNNNG TESTS ON ME FOR SEIZURE DISORDER, I AM TERRIFIED BECKY, I GO INTO THE ST. VITUS DANCE, CAN'T WALK, CAN'T TALK, AND IT COMES ON IN A MINUTE, SO O.K.MAYBE THEY HAVE REASON TO BE LEARY BUT NOT EVER BRINGING THOSE LITTLE ONES TO COME OVER TO SEE ME, AND I WOULD NEVER EVER WATCH MY GRANDKIDS IF I THOUGHT I WAS DIZZY AND GOING TO HAVE A SPELL, I ALWYS HAVE THAT WARNING, AND PHILIP WOULD BE WITH ME WHAT AM I GODZILLA, MY DAUGHTERS FAMILY HAS NOT BEEN TO MY HOME IN 4 MONTHS AND I LIVE 3 MILES FROM THEM. GIVE ME A GOOD EXCUSE FOR THAT, IF I SUGGEST I COME OVER THERE IT IS ALWAYS A NO, NOW I HAVE TO TELL YOU WITH THESE SPELLS GOING ON THE LAST 6 YEARS MY KIDS HAVE BEEN CONVINCED I WAS GET THIS !!!A DRUG ADDICT. I JUST WENT ALONG SO AS NOT TO MAKE MORE TROUBLE, BUT ANYWAY ABOUT 4 YEARS AGO I TOLD MY DAUGHTER I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING PHYSICAL WRONG WITH ME, SHE SAID BUL&*^IT, YOU JUST TAKE TOO MANY DRUGS WHICH I DON'T AND NEVER HAVE. I COULD KICK MY OWN BOTTOM FOR NOT LOOKING INTO THIS MUCH MUCH SOONER AND MYABE I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO GO THREW THIS, IT IS AWFUL, I FALL DOWN, TALK LIKE A DRUNK, CAN FOCUS OR CONCENTRATE, ALL IN A MOMENTS NOTICE. SO THAT IS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME, AND WHOEVER WANTS TO READ THIS CAN, MAYBE IT WILL HELP THEM GET HELP FOR SOMETHING THEY HAVE SOONER. HOW CAN MY DAUGHTER BE LIKE THAT BECKY, I AM SICK AND SHE TREATS ME LIKE I HAVE LEOPORSY, I AM SO MAD AT HER I MAY KILL HER ALONG WITH PHILIP FOR WAKING ME UP SO EARLY. SORRY I BLURTED THAT OUT IT TOOK A LOT TO DO IT, ALL I KNOW IS I CAN NEVER KNOW MY GRANDKIDS UNLESS SHE WANTS ME TO, I REALLY THINK SHE FEELS GUILTY BUT NOT BAD ENOUGH,. HOW IS BECKY TODAY ? WONDERFUL I HOPE YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW MUCH TIME YOU HAVE OFF THE CIGS PROBABLY YEARS!! WELL TODAY IS DAY 26 AND I AM PROUD OF MY SELF EVEN IF MY DAUGHTER DOESN'T LIKE ME, SO THERE. SOUNDS LIKE I AM 6 YEARS OLD, KILL PAIN WITH HUMOR IT WILL WORK EVER TIME TRUST ME, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TODAY? SOMETHING FUN OR THAT YOU ENJOY BESIDES ALL THE LIVING WE ARE GOING TO DO PLEASE ENJOY EVERY MINUTE --WORK ON IT EVERY DAY!#%&()) (ENJOYING IT I MEAN)AND PLAN TO DO A LOT OF IT. WELL BECKY I HAVE AN APT AT 10 AM SO GOTTA GET SOMETHING GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE BEFORE I AM EMBARASED TO LET ANYONE IN IT, HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE, DON'T FORGET IT...HUGSSSS AND HOPE BOBBIE
