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Read a member curated list of EX Community content over 10+ years

elvan
Member

OUR crazy quilt

Become an Ex is a lot like a crazy quilt.  My understanding of a crazy quilt is that is it all kinds of different fabrics sewn together into a quilt, not necessarily in any sort of pattern.  It CAN be in a pattern or it can just be randomly put together.  I think that pretty much describes all of us and how we are “sewn” together randomly.  Each piece is different and some pieces are bigger than others, some are older and more frayed, some are almost new looking.  There are pieces of silk, wool, velvet, denim, camo, madras plaid, polka dots, bright colors, dark colors, fancy lace, dotted swiss, pastels, and nearly invisible colors.  There is virtually every kind of fabric that exists in this quilt and every shape and every size you can imagine.  When a piece of the quilt is torn off or falls off, there is always another piece of fabric that can replace it.  It’s never going to be exactly the same, but there will always be another piece.   The quilt, like, Becomeanex.org will grow and grow and will remain intact and will become stronger, impenetrable in a way.  The quilt will be there to throw over the shoulders of someone who is struggling; it will be there to comfort and to celebrate.  Think of yourself as a piece of this quilt and hang on, be ready for challenges and be ready for celebrations.  Be ready to hold someone else on so they won’t be the missing piece of fabric, let’s all put this quilt together and make sure it is there when one of us needs it.  It’s pretty big and it can cover a whole bunch of people at one time.  You can be covered by it or lay on it and just feel its strength and its diversity…think about what kind of fabric you are. I am a pretty worn piece of denim but I am also pretty strong, all things considered.  I would like to be covered and comforted by those velvet and silk pieces, or maybe just a worn out tee shirt. The quilt is within your reach, always, but you have to be smoke free, there will be no smell of smoke on this quilt, there will be no burn holes in it.  The fabric may not be perfect because of previous damage but there will be no future damage.  Cover yourself with the quilt or lay down on it in the sunlight or make it into a magic carpet and go for a ride.  You choose what to do with it as long as you hang on.

Tags (1)
30 Replies
MichelleDiane
Member

Dear Ellen,

Written a while ago, but still holds true today.  Such a thoughtful and loving piece of writing.  Thank you for your words.

hugs,

Michelle

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elvan
Member

You are so welcome.  I was sitting in my room after I had joined EX and I had met all of these amazing people and a crazy quilt came into my mind...

bonniebee
Member

This blog was written a year before my time on Ex Ellen elvan so I have never read it . I am so glad I came across it today because it is beautiful . 

You may feel like worn denim but to me you have been a very soft comforting piece of flannel . Love you Ellen !

elvan
Member

bonniebee‌ That's such a loving thing to say, thank you...I LOVE flannel.  I think we are ALL a combination of fabrics...flannel, silk, denim, leather, and lace, etc

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smorgy8513
Member

Loved it when you wrote it back then......love it now!    Thanks Sweet Ellen!

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elvan
Member

smorgy8513‌ Thank you so much...I have missed you and it seems so wonderful to see anything from you.  You were another one of my mentors!

Love and hugs,

Ellen

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DAwarner
Member

Today is my first day of quitting.  One of many.  I can picture the love and warmth that was sewn into this quilt.  Thank you Ellen for sharing the analogy, I am no a quilter, but my new addiction will be to find the perfect quilt for me and hang in over my bed.    Thank you !!!!!!!

elvan
Member

DAwarner  I was very early in my quit when I wrote that and it was seriously the way that I visualized this site.  I can tell you now, after over four years, this site has been my BEST FRIEND.  I feel as though I have been strengthened in ways that I would never have thought possible.  Believe me, I have had many challenges but none of them made me want to throw away my quit.  I have never tried to quilt...if I did, it would most definitely be a CRAZY quilt.  

Welcome to EX, I am so happy that you were touched by this blog.  Please stay close to the site, read everything that you can about this addiction and be an active participant...you will be stunned at how much you will grow.

Ellen

DAwarner
Member

Ellen,

Good to know, in my past quits I did it by myself without EX.  It is nice to know someone is at the other end of my texts and actually responds. I truly hit gold when I stumbled onto this site. 

Thank you again. 

Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

elvan
Member

DAwarner  Believe me, I feel the same way...I had many failed quits in the past and now, with the support and love from this site, I am feeling like a new person and my quit is solid.  If you ever feel close to losing...post a blog, click on the little pencil next to your avatar and select "write blog"... put the word HELP in the subject line and you will get more than one response.  Everyone here wants everyone else to succeed and we all started at a day one and many of us have been through unthinkable losses.  We are here and we want you to be with us and reaching out to others, we get so much from helping each other.

Ellen