EX Community

DOCmarkC · ‎03-12-2009

I want you to stop trying to quit.

Yes, I said that. Even more, I mean it.

I browse around here and see post after post from people saying that they are "trying Chantix" or giving the gum a "try". Some are "Trying to quit" for the sixth or seventh time. Others are quite positive. "I tried to quit many times before, but this time I'm going to try something different."

Any of you who have played a sport with a coach can tell you that the coach NEVER said to you: "OK, I want you to go out there and "Try" to win. Give it a good "Try."If they did, then it was for a pickup game or T-ball or something that was more about playing than winning. At a job interview, you never tell your prospective employer that you are going to "Try" to be on time and be a good employee. You don't "Try" to keep your kids fed.

This addiction you are breaking isn't a game. "Trying" is what you do when failure is an option. As Yoda put it! "Try not!¦. DO!... or do not. There is no try."

When you quit an addiction you do just that. You QUIT it. It means that you put it down and you don't pick it up again. I see many posts about backtracking or slipping up. Invariably the replies are encouraging rhetoric like "It's OK, everyone makes mistakes. Pick yourself up and try again" (That "Try" word again).

Now I understand moments of weakness, and I believe in getting back on the horse, but think about a relapse and about having a smoke again! It isn't as if you tripped over a slipper in the hallway and fell mouth-first on an errant cigarette that had been left on the floor next to the fireplace where an ember jumped out and set the smoke alight while the dog jumped up and down on your back forcing you to inhale.

You made a decision that the cigarette was going to fix this intangible stress. Years of conditioning had made that feeling almost subconscious, but it was with a purpose that you got out the smoke and lit it. That was giving up. That was starting the quit counter back to zero. You may have gone a day, a week, a month. But guess what? that no longer matters. Now you have to do it all over again. Was that worth it? After that one smoke were you forever better? I say what you do by "Slipping up" is strap yourself into the rollercoaster again. The nicotine is back in the system and your body is going to scream at you to keep it there. When it was gone your brain still had conditioning telling you that smoking made you happy, but it was a lie you could ignore. Now that lie is compounded with physical withdrawals again. Was that better?

I quit almost a year ago. It was the hardest damn thing I have ever done. I was an Army paratrooper! An infantry medic in one of the most combat deployed units in the military. All of my training, survival testing, and combat was nothing compared to the will it takes to just not put the cigarette in my mouth.

But I'm not "Trying" to quit.

AutumnWoman · ‎03-12-2009

Thanks, DOC -- that needed to be said. Great post.

hwc · ‎03-12-2009

Great post, Doc.

I think the operative phrase for quitting smoking comes from Larry the Cable Guy, "Git 'er done".

lia · ‎03-12-2009

Loved the post!! How true!!!

linda8 · ‎03-12-2009

Perfect, every time I see one of those posts, I just say your human and not perfect, but we just have to say NO, and just not smoke!!!!

carlie · ‎03-12-2009

I have been screaming at my computer for the last few weeks....actually stayed offline for a few days due to my frustrations !!! Your down-to-earth blog says alot of what I have been unable to put into words.....BRAVO !!!

It seems to me, that 8 months ago when I quit, if someone relapsed, they were told things like: "Get back on the horse.....you CAN and WILL do this...etc".....I see alot of patting on the head lately, with a "That's ok...you slipped...we all do it...keep trying !!..etc." WTF is that ????

People need to understand, when they get here...that they are addicts !! PERIOD !!! We all are - - that's why we're here !!! Quitting is a decision...a commitment...you decide to stop...and DO IT !!!! There are several here who have relasped repeatedly. "Hi - I'm back...oops, I slipped again...blah, blah, blah !!" If they don't want the help...then they are not going to listen. I give it one shot...maybe...and then I don't waste my time on them !! Harsh ?? NO !! Reality !!! These people with 6 or 7 days..."I have this licked....I am a non-smoker - - I know it all now !!" And BAM - they are totally unprepared for 30 days...or 40 days...and they are back to square one !!!

The mindset seems to no longer be to QUIT - too much of this "TRY" crap !!! Knowledge is power...read !!!!! Know your enemy !!! This is NOT a game....this is life or death....YOURS !!!!

(Thanks, DOC...Good post !!) I'll get down now.....

jan__tx · ‎03-12-2009

thanks for your words! I look at my pic and cringe everytime....oh I could smoke a whole carton right this very minute but I won't it is not an option! Period! thanks for being so blunt:)

Ben3 · ‎03-12-2009

Amen

jen25 · ‎03-12-2009

Amen to that one. You either DO or you DON'T. There is no TRY. I love the reference to Yoda too, my kids are HUGE Star Wars fans!

melissa2 · ‎03-12-2009

Hit the nail on the head! As blunt as you are, at least it is honest! Thank you for the honesty and humor..this cracked me up because it is true!

"It isnâ€™t as if you tripped over a slipper in the hallway and fell mouth-first on an errant cigarette that had been left on the floor next to the fireplace where an ember jumped out and set the smoke alight while the dog jumped up and down on your back forcing you to inhale."