indingrl.01.06.2011

Friendships to ME

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Aug 21, 2017

I came here today out of learning NEW changes....learning about NEW friendships too.....I have to put forth the effort of going and trying to meet NEW people....I overheard this man telling this man not to get old....I realized I am not the only one looking for company just to chat with....I put my NEW attempts out there and now I wait for a response....this waiting period is when I USED NICOTINE TO RELIEF THE ANXIETY OF WAITING....to be accepted or passed by.....I try NOT to look at being passed over as REJECTION.....people are busy and have appointments as MY friend just told me because I said you text ME when your not busy because I am tired to being rejected...she said I am not rejecting you I have things to do in life..so I said ok I understand.....yet NOT until she brought to MY attention...I am NOT perfect...that took ME along time to accept that I was not perfect because I tried so hard to be .....I am laughing..... it took YEARS....I am becoming more and more human...yet I MUST stay grown up in Jesus name amen......I have gotten grateful at accepting being passed by and not even thinking of USING nicotine or escaping through FOOD... I just keep trying NEW THINGS I have never done before because TODAY I will NOT live in fear......I do realize I always went LOOKING for some escape from the deadness space of waiting....for love ...for chit chatting....for company....for friendship......for someone's attention....NOW only by Gods grace....please I am talking about me not anyone else...take what helps and let go of the rest....thank you....I am able to admit to God to MYSELF and now to all of you...I trust MY recovering from nicotine family for understanding MY mental twists and emotional insanity at moments of MY recovery.....FRIENDSHIP'S OF TODAY.....I try daily to improve....MY ACTION.....I love people and I enjoy helping them daily....smiling at someone...saying good morning to all those I see and meet TODAY....going out of my way to lift people in prayer as My spirit is prompted to as we pass each other or thoughts come to mind to pray.....in MY heart to  prayed for all the schools that hold the next generations this morning on my walking here to the library....I tried to get together with a friend to fix a jigsaw puzzle...passed by she had busyness and life to do today....I got out went and exercised the walk paths at the park...walked here to the library...blog....BEFORE I give into emotional immaturity and LOOK for an excuse to be emotionally out of control and let my feelings lead me to ADDICTIONS......NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME....I made the decision to be honest with MY Daddy God and MYSELF...and now all of you....I asked God to be MY friend...I ask Jesus to be MY friend ...I ask Holy Spirit to be MY friend and to teach ME to be a friend to MYSELF first.... for how can I give away something I do not have...so what would I give to a friend first...a loving Good morning....and a comforting nudge to SUGGEST.... lets go for a walk and share our love with all others we meet and lets smile and be kind and gentle as we meet those on our path today...this is what I do to think NEW...live NEW....and to TRY...to be NEW in MY heart this day and remember to always be grateful to God ...I have all his blessings each day to see with MY own eyes to blog and type this love note to MY recovering family that I am very responsible for MY own joy and friendship to God and self first then to others....growing up nicely one moment at a time....God is good to ME always....the local library has free computers I can use for two hours...they started a jigsaw puzzle in the quite room for anyone who wants to fix....remember to let other fix it too...I obey the sharing rule....before I would be the ONE to fix it all the puzzle for pride not friendships....I am so grateful to be living life not using nicotine to PRETEND living life......thanks for letting ME be your friend.

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