I felt horrible for 2 1/2 months physically and mentally ... help

[Rotweiler2]

I quit smoking cold turkey 2 1/2 months ago.  My entire body felt like it was dipped into novocaine and I was aggravated, arguing with my wife constantly, being mean and overly sensitive. 

Starting Wellbutrin, almost 2 months in, helped a bit with the physical symptoms, but the aggravation would not stop. 

Three days ago I bought a pack and started smoking 4-5  cigarettes a day and besides the guilt, disappointment, and health worries ... I feel better. 

I don't want to smoke again, but I don't want to be so darn aggravated and on edge anymore either.  It's not a lack of self-discipline - these feelings were so powerful, overwhelming and horrible.  Plus the absolute exhaustion, despite sleeping 9-10 h a night... just not normal!

I quit before but never had these horrible side effects! I usually had so much energy that I had to go on long hikes every day and any physical symptoms stopped after 3 days ... this time is for some reason is the complete opposite.

Any advise would be appreciated.

Thank you

[Rotweiler2]

Elvan, you are correct: I didn't prepare properly for this quit. I didn't expect it to be SO much harder than in the past.  I am back to square one, now that I have nicotine in my body again.  However, I will read all I can read here and prepare better in order to be ready for my next quit, which I currently set for November 15th. 

[indingrl]

WELCOME CONGRATS NICOTINE FREEDOM

[JACKIE1-25-15]

I just wanted to add that you should come here more often for help with the coping skills while you are going through the physical and mental withdrawal of nicotine. Have you read any of the suggested material? Education is the way to be successful to quit smoking. 

[constanceclum]

I hope you are still coming here to read comments.  Many people, including myself, cannot take wellbutrin because of the severe anxiety it can cause. Please don't give up on quitting. Find an alternative to wellbutrin.

Connie

[Rotweiler2]

I want to thank you all for caring and attempting to respond to a pretty impossible question, but it all helps tremendously. I will spend the next 2-3 weeks to learn about this addiction, so things don't catch me by surprise, being ready with answers/ changes in behavior. I will read Allen Carr's book "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" again, which helped a lot last time and start walking again, which put so many endorphins in me that I felt great.  (Two things I didn't do this time)  I had used an app "Quit smoking in 2 hours".  Good stuff, BUT he said over and over again that physical withdrawal only lasts a few days and is minor. While this was true the last time, it caught me by surprise that it wasn't true this time around.
Without all of you, I'd completely given up by now and probably waited years again to quit. Your support and success stories are what keeps me working toward this goal, now.  While I feel horrible right now that I failed, with all of your support and a better plan in place, I will succeed this year!

Thank you all!! 

[maryfreecig]

I've been smober since late 2013. I  quit with all intent of getting over smoking relatively quick, but found myself feeling distressed, angry, rage filled, reclusive, distrusting of any kind of help and wanted to get over my feelings FAST. It took me at least 18 months do begin detaching from nicotine in a healthy way--far longer than I thought it would take. Everyone is different. 

I joined Ex after being quit for 2 years and 10 months. I have found that I had to heal in everyway--I was so dependent on nicotine, remembered my smoking life so clearly--that I wouldn't or couldn't fix my unhappy feelings. At first I felt no reward in quitting--thought of it as a thankless job. Yet, I worked my quit in spite of my mindset. Year by year I've found the quit that I wanted right away--I found a grounding in smobriety--cigarettes make no sense to me today.

If I had a time machine, I'd go back and tell myself that it's going to work out just fine. Likely the other me would still not have believed. That's the thing of dependency/addiction to nicotine--for most of us it takes energy and time to turn our addiction into recovery. Staying alone and getting through each day by will is an unnecessarily hard way to pull your smobriety together. 

Here at Ex you have an entire quit family that is going to support you 365.

Welcome to Ex.

[elvan]

This is a journey, not an event and it has to be kept at one day at a time, sometimes, one FEELING at a time.  The physical withdrawal was not bad for me but the psychological withdrawal was a bear.  Once I accepted that smoking really did nothing FOR me, only TO me, it became easier.  I came to this site every morning and every evening and oftentimes in between to read blogs and comments and to see what was working for others.  It saved my quit...

Ellen

[Barbscloud]

Just had a thought.  Are you taking the Daily Pledge each day?   It really helps me keep on track for the day.

Barb

[Rotweiler2]

No, I don't know about that. Can you share the pledge w me, please?

[Barbscloud]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/219655-the-daily-pledge-october-2019?sr=search&searchId=b...   We all pledge not to smoke today and extend our hand to the next pledger.  If nothing else, I do that everyday. It's a great way to get your day started on the right track.

  Barb