Failing Fast

[Roejo]

I have never been able to figure out how to join in discussions or express my concerns.  Still don't know what I'm doing!  Anyhow, my last cigarette was January 31, but I am getting worse, not better.  I wonder if anyone else has this problem.  I have no support at home--hubby 0f 41 years still smokes--hasn't seemed to bother me much, but triggers are killing me.  Haven't told friends because I'm too afraid I won't make it.  They would not be unhappy to see me fail because they all smoke!  I used the patches for six weeks and I don't want to go back to them.  I haven't used them since the middle of March.  I was telling myself I was doing just fine, then all of a sudden about a week ago, I wasn't.  I'm having a worse time now than in the beginning.  I hesitate to write this because I don't want to discourage anyone who has just quit, but I really need to know if anyone else has his a patch like this and most of all, how long did it last?

[Roejo]

Yes, I did ask--they had no reason.  Dad said he "just did"  and my sis said she only quit after she and her hubby split up because she couldn't afford them.  Two years later she was back on her feet and right back to smoking.  I am 73 and have smoked for over 50 years.  I am proud of myself--NOPE since Jan 31, but I wish someone in my family could be there for an "atta girl" or two!  Gosh that sounds so childish...

[Jennifer-Quit]

I got zero support from my bio-family - but all the support needed from people at this site!  That is all you really need!  Congratulations!

[crazymama_Lori]

actually it's not.  But trust me as they see you're sticking to it, they will be very proud of you.  I've been quit now 2 and some years after smoking for 43, I couldn't ever imagine going back.  I know I'm not one of those people who can have just one and I'm just fine and never have another one for another year or so.  And there are some people out there just like that.  My husband for example doesn't smoke but occasionally will light one up once a year or two and that's it.  I rationalize it as there's something wired in my brain that just likes nicotine or the dopamine it creates.  It's just simply something I need to stay away from because I truly have no control over it and I know that now and I'm good with it.  And actually part of NML is having people just say, gee, you should be over this by now or you can have one, you've been quit long enough....... I've heard those before.  These are some links to a series that was posted here when I first signed up that really helped me around that time (gesh, more reading) https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2017/02/19/no-mans-land-weekly-blogs 

[Roejo]

I will go to the site, and thank you.  You're right, and somehow I know in my heart that I am not one of those people who can have just one!  My friends are po'd because I won't join them for a glass of wine yet--something else I "just know"--I'm not ready for it.  Especially with their cigs readily available to me.  They don't see why after 3 and a half months I'm not ready to do all the things I used to do.  I'm just not.  So your words helped.

[TW517]

Not childish at all.  I had many failed quits before joining this site.  The support here made all the difference in the world.  At first I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support, and even thought some of it went overboard.  But it really is such a great motivator!  I just celebrated a year free, and could not possibly have done it without my new friends here on EX.  Glad you found us too!

[karenjones]

No it doesn't sound childish. But maybe unrealistic. i think you are doing absolutley great under the circumstances.  Consider us your non-smoking family for the purpose of your quit. We are here for you.  You just have to quit for yourself and it is too bad that your family does not have the strength and discipline that you are showing, but you can't quit for them.  You can only quit for yourself and it sounds like you are doing great.  keep up the good work.!!!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Every smoker knows they can choose to go back to smoking any time they want.

It's not so much about trying to not smoke until you do.

It's more about accepting you can smoke any time but knowing what you're getting yourself into this time and what you will be giving your control to if you do.

[pir8fan]

Keep moving forward! In the words of Ray Lewis “only a fool trips on what’s behind them”! Do not go backwards! Happiness is just ahead! Promise! 

You can do this!! We will help!!   Tommy

[pir8fan]

We got your “atta girr’s”! 

[Barbscloud]

Nothing else profound to add, just my support.  I'm on day 68 and it it still difficult at times.  It's all those psychological attachments with have between smoking and life events.  I also find it discouraging when I meet people who have quit for long periods of time and then returned to smoking.  There's some support, but I've learned with most things in life we have to support ourselves or we'd probably never accomplish anything.