Not ready to quit?

[dennisad]

My insurance company is telling me I need to quit smoking...yeah, I know I should, but I don't know that I want to because I am being forced to. It's hard to want to do something when someone tells you that you have too so it's not really your choice. Can anyone relate to my situation? My wife doesn't smoke and I know she wishes I would quit for my health and also to be a better example to our teenage son. Thanks in advance!

[crazymama_Lori]

when you decide to quit and want support, we'll be here for you.  I never wanted to quit either.  I was a ride or die type of gal.  But when it was getting harder to breathe, getting more and more cramps in my legs, wheezing every night, I knew it was time.  Also the price of cigarettes jumping up every month, getting harder and harder to find places that allow smoking.   I was a two to three pack a day smoker.  I vowed I'd die with a cigarette in hand.  No one was telling me I had to quit.  I never wanted to hear the speeches about the health effects.  I'd roll my eyes every time.  Personally I wish I wouldn't have waited so long, but glad I finally made the plunge.  It's nice to be rid of the old ball and chain.  Do some poking around here and read about nicotine.  Track your cigarettes just for kicks and see when and why you smoke.  You might surprise yourself.

[elvan]

dennisad    Please pay attention to crazymama_Lori‌'s response.  The fact is that many people here did not want to quit but they were willing to go through the discomfort  because they knew that they were hurting themselves.  It took some of us longer than others.  I am sure that I would have been annoyed if I felt forced to quit by someone else...I needed to be forced to quit by my own failing health.  Read everything that you can about nicotine addiction, there is a book "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Allen Carr...you can probably get it from your local library or buy it on line very reasonably.  I think the title is misleading because I do not think that quitting is easy...this is an addiction and quitting is not an event, it is a journey.  It is one day at a time and some days will be much easier than others...just like life, there will be good days and bad days, just like there are NOW.  You will begin to notice improvements in your health, they may be very subtle at first but they will be there.  You will notice the smell of smoke on others, you will begin to appreciate that you are not constantly looking for a place to smoke or trying to find the time to get your fix.  You will grow emotionally in ways that you didn't even realize you needed to grow.  Your stress level will go down, your self esteem will go up.  Come to the site every day and read blogs, you will find people to relate to...we all started at the beginning, there are no shortcuts and this is not easy but it IS doable.  I suggest that you go to the link at the top of the page when you sign in...My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX  and you will get some solid suggestions for making a plan, setting a date, and going forward should you decide to do so.

This is a supportive and caring community of recovering nicotine addicts...you will have the opportunity to connect with people of all ages and all walks of life.  You CAN quit and you can find many ways to celebrate your freedom.

My name is Ellen, I have not smoked in over 4 years after 47 years of smoking and failing at quits.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

you don't have to want to quit.

You just have to be willing.

My Welcome To New Members (10 Years Of Watching) 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/70402-where-does-it-come-from 

[TW517]

Yep, I can relate.  I put off quitting for years for the same reason.  I knew if was bad for my health.  I knew I was setting a bad example for my kids.  I knew my insurance rates would go way down if I quit. I knew I could have lots of other nice things with the money I spent on cigarettes.  I knew all of that.  I just hated being told by others I had to quit for any of those reasons.  Plus, I had heard for years that old falsehood that an addict had to be "ready to quit" before they could be successful.  Well, not for me.  And not for many others here.  I quit on a whim.  I had been sick with a cold and physically unable to smoke for a couple of days because of a severe cough.  Even though many bad colds in the past didn't stop me from lighting right back up when I felt a little better, this time I just decided not to.  And it wasn't for any of those (very legitimate) reasons others had been trying to force on me.  I was just sick of the sneaking, and spending so much time consumed by planning my next smoke break.  Although I made the decision on a whim, I could not have possibly succeeded without the help of this site.

I hope that you will want to quit soon.  And that you will want to for you, not because you are feeling forced.

[Sootie]

I can relate. It is one of the reasons I don't really advocate insurance companies or businesses thinking they are "doing good" by forcing the issue. You can't force someone to be healthy.

Having said that-----think about looking at this as an "opportunity" to at least research quitting. Go to whyquit.com and read everything you can find on addiction and quitting. I also would resist being "guilted" into quitting........but, you know, sometimes one thing leads you to another and soon you are looking at the same situation in a different way. I am so very happy that I quit.....I really cannot express it to you in words. It is difficult but not impossible.....we all did it and you can too. Maybe rather than focus on being forced into it....you could focus on how happy it will make your wife AND how great you are going to feel.....not to mention how great you are going to smell AND the money you will save.

This is a great site for support if you decide on freedom.

Welcome to EX. We are all here for each other.

Stay Strong.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

I remember feeling exactly as you are.  When they talked about making the university campus where I worked smoke free I actually decided I would quit my job first....luckily, I retired before it happened......but I quit shortly thereafter because I had clogged arteries going to BOTH legs.  The surgeon said he could fix me, but that if I continued to smoke, I would need the same surgery again and would probably not be healthy enough for him to do it (left unsaid was that I then could have lost one or both legs from lack of circulation).

You don't have to want to quit to be successful, but you have to be willing to make the decision that you will not smoke again NO MATTER WHAT.  I CAN tell you that being free is more wonderful than you can imagine - honestly!  Educate yourself, write down ALL the reasons that quitting would benefit you and then give it some thought.  There really is never a good REASON to smoke - there are only excuses.  After you do the reading, you will understand that all the things you believe smoking does for you are lies. I didn't know it - and bet you don't, either.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I also highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. 

You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[dennisad]

Thank you Nancy. I'm not much of a reader so I'll be honest and say I probably won't read the books. Right now I am working on replacing smokes with gum or hard candy. It's helping me cut back. Baby steps

[AnnetteMM]

So you can see that the answer to your "question" is yes.  Yes, everyone can relate to your reluctance.  So what.  You didn't come here for an answer.  You came here for help.  You do want to quit.  Your ego is getting in the way.  Until you settle that score, all the help in the world won't help.  You don't want to be forced to quit.  Fine.  Then take control of your own life and do it for yourself.  You're a grown man and no one has to tell you the right thing to do.  You already know or you wouldn't be here.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

I did not want to quit either. But I did more than 8 Years ago. You see, we have Free will to decide to want to quit or to rebel against the idea. I hear some rebellion going on. But can you think of anything - anything at all, you might gain from quitting? Make a list and build on that. Would you like to have that money back in your pocket? Would you like to have more control over the time you spend smoking (somewhere around 2 hours a day.) Would you like to have your children look up to you and admire you a bit more? It's your list that counts! Make it as strong and heartfelt as you can and then read the list just before you light up - not to induce guilt but to just spark that part of your Brain that is not Addicted.I quit 6 days after being diagnosed with COPD. Now I'm on 24/7 Oxygen and see at least 2 doctors a week. I take 15 meds a day. I'm only 60 but my lungs are much older! Be smarter than me - quit because you don't want to pay the insurance - it's a much healthier reason than to quit because you have a chronic, progressive smoking related illness for which there is no cure.