Hi my name is Julie and I’m a smoker. As soon as I roll out of bed in the morning I am thinking about cigarettes. I usually have coffee then smoke one. I’m wearing a patch so I went from a pack a day to 3-4 cigarettes a day but I am having the hardest time completely quitting. It’s almost as if I’m a professional quitter where I buy patches, swear to stop smoking, stop for a few days (sometimes) but I always go back. I always need a few drags and go back to being a full time smoker in no time. I’m come to the conclusion that I can never touch another cigarette again but I think that I would go crazy from the cravings. I’m supposed to start working soon and I know that smoking is no longer socially acceptable. I’m really mad and it’s so hard to have these strong cravings and not reach for a cigarette. I’m also feeling really mad that I’m not beating this addiction after trying countless times. I want to scream and vent. I don’t know why my body wants these cigarettes so bad that I feel that I can’t do this. I’ve read Allen Carr’s book twice and I keep forgetting everything in it. I’ve written down reasons to quit just to walk right by them on my way to smoke. I don’t even know if never having a cigarette is even going to work for me, I see myself going crazy with cravings and running to the gas station at 3am. Thanks for reading my blog.