Decided to celebrate by a good laugh, rather than a big, magnifying mirror...
At 60 years old, your birthday suit requires regular ironing.
We put 60 candles on your cake, but by the time we got the last one lit, the first twenty had already burned out.
Congrats, you’re 60! Time to start yelling at the television.
One good thing about being 60: when you can’t find your eyeglasses, they’re almost always on your forehead.
Fortune tellers read your face instead of your palm.
Your favorite station on cable is the Weather Channel.
You shop at Target and Walmart for the great clothes.
You know your way around but you don’t want to go anywhere.
You're not only interested in automobile airbags, you've become one.
The candles on your cake set off the sprinkler system.
No More Tank Tops. It's a rule.
Your pants creep upward as you get older. By 60 you’re a pair of pants with a head.
You wonder why the TV remote isn’t working, then realize it’s a cordless phone.
At the gym, you mostly do squats because of how they help you in the bathroom.
When classic movies come on, your comments are: “She’s dead. He’s dead. They’re all dead.”
The quantity of gold in your mouth would make a decent retirement plan.
Not wearing a bra tugs the wrinkles right out of your face.
Your parties never even wake up the dog, let alone the neighbors.
Sucking in your gut can blow the hair right off the top of your head.
When you relax on a park bench, boy scouts offer to help you cross your legs.
...And that is enough for now...60 is the new 40...that is what everyone says and I decided to live up to that: off I go for a 30min walk, I will be back all refreshed in a couple of hours