233 pounds 

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Apr 30, 2020

Please I am talking about ME not anyone else - so please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you - 225 pounds in March and April is ending with ME weighing 233 pounds - to COPE with MY life -  I made poor CHOICES personally - to comfort MY FEELINGS of powerlessness - I CHOSE to eat ice cream and cookies and pies and cakes and donuts - YET I did keep exercising day by day - I use to say - I smoked on DEATH STICKS to stay skinny - I stayed skinny because I would not eat for 3 months - I just lived off a ton of white sugar and creme in a little coffee - it was the white sugar that -  I am ADDICTED too - just like I was to NICOTINE - MY.NEW MINDSET just for TODAY -  I sat after weighing MYSELF and reading the scale - I felt the FEELINGS of disappointment of 233 pounds - it was MY TRUTH - which I had already knew in MY heart - since no one forced cakes OR pies OR cookies OR ice cream in MY mouth  - I am the PROBLEM. - so I took inventory and sat while listening to a speaker talking on a spiritual answer for ME and I made wise choices today eating - I didn't go to - OLD idea's -  like another diet OR fasting to lose wt - I prayed for TODAY - I am GRATEFUL to share MY ups and downs of ACCEPTING MYself and MY choices wise or unwise to still love MYSELF just as I am and be ok with EACH day I learn in 1987 that  - GOD DON'T MAKE JUNK and to speak kind and loving to MYSELF while learning -  each time I failed to lose weight - to CHANGE MY FEELING THINKING to just STOP and think what I am thinking about on the inside and with God's love - I choose to eat more veggies instead of white sugars -  when I get emotionally deranged while admitting MY truth of running to FOOD for comfort doesn't work for ME - I have tried to escape from MY emotions all MY life - THROUGH MANY thing's - now I SHARE MY mistakes - MY unwise choices with anyone - to give HOPE  - I am GRATEFUL to set a NEW goal on HEALTHY eating without escaping to sucking on DEATH STICKS - thanks for letting ME release MY TRUE EMOTIONS of MY immaturity to accept - I am a healthy 233 pound NON SMOKER who is willing to admit MY weaknesses and NOTTAKEONEPUFFEVER and keep being much MORE aware when I am about to eat MY FEELINGS to journal on paper until they are ALL released without running to food - hmmmmmmm - let go and let God - love MYSELF through - hmmmmmm- live and let live - ask MYSELF questions - am I hungry - if NOT - what truth about ME am I trying to run from OR am I just missing HEAVEN MY true home - hmmmmmm- I will choose to sit quite and WAIT and watch for God's miracles -  hmmmmmm - like coming here and blogging MY sadness and HOPE that there are other's just like ME - who experienced some days are just that -  a LEARNING day and from MY experince - I know that cancer will happen by choosing to suck on DEATH STICKS over gaining weight - that is NOT the solution for ME - making a NEW wiser plan -  like writing down FEELINGS -  instead of stuffing them down with white sugars is better than SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS -  I am learning and God is healing ME INSIDE and Y'ALL HELP ME to continue to grow and KNOW MY greatest enemy is ME - hmmmmmmmm- this too shall pass