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Give and get support around quitting

Im having trouble in the evenings, how do I figure it out?

I keep quitting, but end up smoking in the evenings, when my cravings are at the worst. It's after I get home for the day, and it's time to relax. I smoked the most in the evening time. I get on here and read, and that helps, but eventually I don't know what to do with myself. Keep busy? sure... but I'm sooo tired. Im alone in evening too. Just me and my dog which I walk. 

I just seem to forget that smoking does nothing for me, and quitting will do so much! 

I've never struggled like this before. I even quit doing drugs, and alcohol. Wasn't like this...

I'm missing something, and seem not to be able to grasp it. 

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9 Replies
Daniela2016
Member

It is nice meeting you and welcome.  I do not know how long you've been on this site, but I can share from my own experience, after about 40 years of smoking that quitting is not by far as difficult as it seems.  What made the difference for me this time was knowledge: about the addiction, about what to expect when quitting, and how to accumulate tools to fight the cravings.  Willpower alone is not going to help much, even though determination is necessary.

If I were you, I would start by reading some of the blogs here, some pages of people who have been EXsmokers for a while (I barely had one year earlier this month).  You might find them inspiring, full of make sense advice, and you  might find stuff to help you get over the evening craves.  For tonight you can go to JonesCarpeDiem‌ page and read "My welcome to new members".  You will find a wealth of information, and suggestions you can chose from. Everyone quits differently, and we all say "take what works for you, leave the rest", and by al means please come often, ask questions.

I am just the first to respond, you will be greeted by many others offering their experience we all hope to help you!

This is the best decision you can make for your health, congratulations!

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You must unlearn it and make new memories that don't include smoking. In time the new memories will outweigh the smoking memories.

This doesn't take strength or willpower as much as willingness to give it the time it takes.

Changing Your Routines & Time.

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months 

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As far as nighttime, find something you can do with your hands, a hobby.

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Jennifer-Quit
Member

It is harder to smoke in the evenings if you do not have cigarettes around.  Get rid of them.  If you can get through a couple of days without smoking at all - it will be easier to continue this journey.  Best wishes to you.

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susan_m
Member

I also had trouble in the evening... I finally realized that it was because I was home and relaxed, and therefore my guard was down.  Once I figured it out, I was better prepared for the cravings.  When you have them, acknowledge them, remind yourself that you quit, and move on.

When did you quit?  I was generally in bed before 7 pm the first week or so of my quit.  There is no shame in going to bed when you are tired - your body is talking to you, and you should listen.

It gets so much easier - believe us when we tell you that!  Hang in there!!

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YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Tired doesn't preclude doing a crossword or jigsaw puzzle, or playing Solitaire on the computer, or taking a relaxing bath, or going on YouTube and watching funny videos........or, as Susan suggested, just getting to bed.  This all requires some effort in the early days, but it requires less and less as time moves on.  You need to get rid of ALL cigarettes in your house.  Keeping them around is giving yourself permission to smoke them and until you make a decision you won't smoke NO MATTER WHAT, the option will always be on the table.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go the the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

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elvan
Member

Welcome to EX, please pay attention to what everyone has said.  It is not enough to come to the site and read, you need to really pay attention to how others are managing and you need to believe that you do not have to smoke, no crave will kill you...smoking does so much damage behind the scenes and it is not worth it.  Blog in the evenings and absolutely find something to do that keeps you busy...you really are not alone, we are here and so is your pup!

Ellen

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gregp136
Member

There is lots of advise from the elders here, and that is a great place to start.  Nicotine is an evil bride, and I have heard personally from a number of people that she is harder to leave than a lot of other addictions.  It will be hard work, but it will be worth it!

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JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Change your routine even it means entering through another door.  Change seating arrangements.  Have a plan of something else to do instead of smoking and work the plan.