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Give and get support around quitting

o2run
Member

On week 4 and feeling disheartened...

I just found this place today. Thankfully. I almost just went out and bought a pack but I just keep thinking of the feeling AFTER I have that first puff if I did. I know I would be so upset with myself. I know I would regret it so horribly and it would put me right back to the start of the past miserable 3 weeks. I read Allen Carr's Easy way (listened actually) - it took me several months to read it, I kept putting it off. I was a secret smoker. Only a few people in my life knew that I did, and I took great precautions to keep it that way. I have always been a very healthy person, a long distance runner, and I'm a therapist (counselor). Besides the occasional cigarette in college when I was in Europe, I was someone that thought smoking was gross and stinky. Then 4 years ago when I met my ex husband, life took a downhill turn, and I stopped taking care of myself. I started joining him on the porch for a cigarette. I never bought my own, just had one of his once in awhile. That turned of course into the gradual and sneaky (and constantly justifying) habit that had me chain smoking my own American Spirits on the porch. Besides smoking with one of my best friends who helped the justification (she was healthy, active, fit) I only smoked at home. When I left my husband I assumed I would quit, but I didn't. It became my safe haven and routine. Since my office is next to my house I literally set up my sessions so I could have a nice block of time in the morning to sit outside, play a mindless game on my phone, and smoke cigarette after cigarette. I had a routine around keeping the secret- I went so far as to wear a hat and coat I only used to smoke in and even wear a plastic glove bc I hated the smell on my fingers. And then of course I scrubbed my face and mouth afterwards. 

I didn't know I was going to write a whole story here. I guess I'm just so disheartened bc I still feel the cravings. I don't want to smoke, I know I will regret it, and I've come this far- but I am so ready to not have that gnawing feeling in my chest/ back of throat that wants that relief. I have it every day. The first week was hell with other physical symptoms like basically not being able to function, but this gnawing feeling has not gone away. I'm trying to stay focused on the feeling of the run I went on the afternoon I made the decision- Feb 12. I went for a trail run and tried to pay attention to the shortage of my lung capacity and how little I could do (I think I ran about 3 miles and walked a bunch of it). I went on the same trail on Monday which was my 3 week mark. I ran 5 miles and felt fantastic. I know if I keep going I'm going to feel like my old self again somewhere down the line. But I didn't quite feel like Allen Carr had talked about. I'm kind of mad at him actually. I feel like he tricked me into thinking I'd feel like I new person in 3 weeks. In fact, that's exactly what he says. So I was holding off crossing days off on the calendar to get to 3 weeks. And I did it. But as I sit here typing I feel that heavy feeling/ craving still. 

Pounding my feet on the dirt is the only thing that drowns out this craving feeling. I have trouble concentrating and it's affecting my work and everything. I even started drinking more in the evenings to try to numb out that feeling. And THAT is certainly not a habit I can start. I've been trying to take a bunch of supplements to help as well. I love neuroscience and it's been helpful to learn as much as I can about the nicotine receptors, but I just assumed by now I would only be getting an occasional pang. I have the feeling pretty much all day long. 

My question is... I would love to hear your experiences around surviving these cravings, anything that helped? And how to deal with this frustration of COME ON already! It IS going to go away right? I have always been a massive wimp when it comes to discipline of uncomfortable feelings like this. I am so proud I made it this far but I feel like I'm hanging on a depression inducing thin thread. 

Any inspiration appreciated! Thank you. 

32 Replies

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months 

Read that and don't drop the ball.

Stick it out.

The only way out is through.

elvan
Member

PLEASE read Dale's blog noted above.  The craves are not going to go away magically at three weeks.  I, too, was angry with Allen Carr because my experience quitting was NOT easy.  I had to work at my quit, I came here every morning and every evening and I made myself a plan.  I figured out what my triggers were and I planned for what I would do instead of smoking when they occurred.  I smoked for 47 years with breaks for pregnancy and some failed quits.  I have been smoke free for over 3 years now.  I hated smoking and apparently so do you which is why you hide it.  Yes, I grieved for the loss of my "best friend"...the one who was trying to kill me.  Drinking is a huge mistake, it makes the craves stronger and your commitment weaker.  What GOOD does smoking do?  What does it REALLY change?  Does it take away depression, physical pain, anger, disappointment?  Answer honestly and you will be on your way.

Welcome to Ex

Ellen

Kellybeth
Member

Today I have been smoke free for 16 days. Every one of those days has been a struggle. I keep thinking the same as you about feeling better at 3 weeks but now I'm nervous. Like you I started smoking when I was dating my now husband. He smoked and it started with a few drags now and then. Then it became more and more. The next thing I knew it was 8 years later. I am very close with my Mother. She does not know that I smoke. In fact she would be pissed if she knew about it. I decided for my sake and for the sake of my child it was finally time to quit. My Husband it still smoking so it has been very hard to do this on my own. I feel like I could slip at any moment.

This sucks and I hope the best for you, for all of us struggling. Nicotine addiction is no joke. Stay strong.

Hello and welcome!!

Congratulations on three weeks. I too think you should read dales blog. The link is above on his post. I think by the time I was three weeks in, I was using straws. I know. Kind of different. But, I believe my reply from Dale to one of my blogs was that "you might as well be smoking air." I don't even recall what the blog was about but I still remember the response to this day. I took him up on what he said, went out and bought myself a pack of straws. I cur them to a pocket length and kept them with me.

 When I was craving, I'd suck clean air through them and sometimes chew on them till there wasn't much left. I found it was much easier to lose the straw addiction then it was to lose the cigarette addiction.

 Also, I blogged a lot and now you have a place to do that. There's no such thing as writing to many blogs. It sometimes helps to vent, and we're here to receive it if you need to. You're no longer alone on your journey. You're about to get tons of advice, I promise you!

 Hang in there. You won't regret it!!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!

Chuck

I just chewed the nourishment out of them myself.  🙂

Barbara145
Member

Hello.  So glad you found this site.  It will help you a lot. The word disheartened caught my eye.  I was so there early in my quit. Well actually for quite a while.  I think you are probably still grieving your divorce along with grieving the loss of cigarettes. Please know that it gets better and better.  It just takes time.  Give it time.  It is most likely the most loving thing you will do for yourself in this lifetime.  How about a short walk when you are feeling miserable?  That helped me immensely.. You really are doing great.  Take care of yourself. 

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Congratulations on your decision to quit and your first four weeks!  This quitting is  a journey, not an event.  You smoked for a long time, and this addiction is a tough one from which to pull free.  Drinking alcohol is NOT a good idea.  Being active IS!

I might recommend you read Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking” again. While I never found it easy, it helps to reinforce that smoking does not do  one thing FOR you, and so much TO you.  Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 

As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.  During your work breaks,  maybe go for a walk - or spend them in a place different than where yous smoked.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

100 Things to Do Instead of Smoke

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

Mandolinrain
Member

PLEASE do read the post Dale sent to you. It will really help you. Im glad your found us and have a strong desire to stay quit. Thats awesome. I remember going through a few weeks that started around my 5th month and the craves came badly. Like you I was without a clue as to why, because I did EVERYTHING I was told to do.

Somewhere I read about using Vicks Vapor rub to help me by serious craves...the ointment and the inhaler. I bought both and used both and for me, the craves were nearly instantly relieved. I don't understand this, but that and the power of prayer and this site helped me through. Somewhere around the 8th month or so....all the craves just disappeared for me. Today, nearly 2 and a half yrs. later....I have no desire to smoke no matter whats going on in my life.......so far. 

I have an addiction to Nicotine. I know if I take just one more puff, I will be back to a pack a day in no time, and I have no time for that.

Stick around. Many many good folks in here, new quitter, old quitters who all can help you and support you.

Its good to vent, so do it as often as you need to. 

READ DALES ARTICLE:)

o2run
Member

Wow! Thank you! Just what I needed. I almost started crying and I am not a crier. I just got back from my office and on the way out I had that strong urge again. I had read Dale's post and it immediately helped- well, not true, I got upset about having to wait 130 days- and then I had this decision about stopping counting days. Almost as if the countdown itself was making it more difficult. So I was good, and then an hour later on my way home I almost stopped to get that pack. I just wanted to feel that relief. But I decided to come see first if anyone responded and wow you guys are great! Thank you so much.  I will keep reading. And I'm going to put on some vapor rub right now haha.