Hi. My name is Kelly. I just joined this website in hopes of finding people that are going through the same thing as me. I am hoping this is an active board. I'm still trying to figure it out!
I have been taking Chantix for 28 days. I have not had a cigarette in 8 days. I still feel like it is a struggle at times to fight the urge to smoke. My husband is still smoking and I feel angry and jealous that he gets to smoke and I can't.
I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to.
He gets to smoke and you can't? Maybe we can turn that thought back on itself :
He has to smoke and you don't!
Congrats on 8 Days! You're in the correct place!
Kelly, Congratulations on your 8 DOF. Amazing start and every day WON is a step closer to freeing yourself from the restraints of cigarettes! Share with us your Journey and let us know how we can help!
Darren
Hey Kelly! Congratulations on your quit! 8 days is fantastic!
You've come to the right place if you want to talk - this site is really good for that!
Susan
Congratulations on your quit, Kelly...the first week is affectionately referred to as "Hell Week" and you made it through all by yourself and the second week is "Heck Week." Thomas3.20.2010 is right about your husband, he doesn't "get" to smoke, he "has" to smoke. It is an addiction and the more you learn about addiction to nicotine, the better. We most definitely are here to support you and we want you to be successful. We all had to start at day one and there are no shortcuts, the only way out is through...is something you will read more than once here. The acronym that helped me the most was NOPE, Not One Puff Ever but that was overwhelming to many people so take it one day at a time, sometimes, one hour or one minute at a time. No crave lasts forever and no crave every killed anyone. Think of the reasons you are quitting and understand that you are not giving anything up, you are taking BACK your life. You weren't born smoking, none of us were, once we became addicted to nicotine, it was in charge of us and every decision we made. That's where your husband is now...nicotine is his boss. You will actually learn a great deal about yourself by not smoking. The nicotine stunts our emotional growth because it numbs our feelings towards things that happen, good things and bad things. Happy and sad...smoking does not ease pain, physical or emotional, it does not make things better, no matter what those things are. Smoking causes stress, it doesn't relieve it, we were lied to by our addiction and once we begin to really feel things as they were meant to be felt all along, we grow...it is surprising how much we stuffed down because we were smoking.
Welcome to EX and to the beginning of your journey. Glad you are here and happy that you made this decision, you will not regret it!
Ellen
"He gets to smoke and you can't? Maybe we can turn that thought back on itself :
He has to smoke and you don't!"
I LOVE that!! It really is true! It's hard right now. I feel like I have lost a friend. Is it strange to feel a loss?? But I also can't believe how much time smoking actually took up. I feel like I have much more free time now. I'm proud of myself but also feel a little lost.
I went through all 7 stages of grief... sounds like you will, too, and it is very common. Bargaining scared me to death! You can do this, Kellybeth - keep laughing and always, always find the good. When a craving comes, just ride the wave and take deep breaths.
Hang in there!
It is not at all strange to feel a loss, many of us went through a grieving period for what we thought was the loss of a friend. Cigarettes are not friends...friends are not controlling you and basically trying to kill you. It's normal to feel a loss and to feel a little lost. Think of how many ways smoking was tied into your life...you need to replace those smoking times with something else, something healthy, something energizing. Working out releases dopamine and really gives you a great feeling of accomplishment. Youngatheart.7.4.12 can give you a list of 100 things to do instead of smoking. You need to understand addiction and to understand recovery...you are at the beginning of your recovery.
KellyBeth, you didn't lose a friend. you lost the enemy.
Hi Kelly, I am also new and on my 2nd day smoke free. My partner also smokes and I think about as Thomas said, she has to smoke, i dont. It helps a lot.
My problem is it seems we don't have much time together any more. We already work opposite schedules, then she comes home and sits in her office on computer. That's where we smoked when it's cold outside (and she still does).
Glad you found us!
Congratulations on eight days!!!
That's an accomplishment. You aren't losing a thing and gaining everything. I kind of went through my grieving during my preparations for my quit. By the time I actually put out that first cigarette, I was actually getting anxious to do it. Not that it was easy but it was doable. Getting rid of the old ball and chain is a wonderful feeling!!
Wishing you the best of success as you march on!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
Chuck
I like what Thomas said turn it around !
I learned that positive thinking played a huge part in my ability to quit . We have the God -given power within to change our thinking . When a negative thought starts in your head change it up ...turn it around !
I do understand your feeling but you are the Lucky one you will be free and he will remain enslaved ,maybe some day he will choose to quit . I lost a quit once because I chose to blame it on my smoking room mate / friend at the time . This time this quit I made up my mind to quit no matter what ! She smokes she is not free but I am and it feels great ! I love this picture !
You will be free !
Congrats on your 8 Days of Freedom !
Many Congratulations on 8 days of freedom!! It's the best choice you could have made for yourself.
I am working the quit right along with you!
Hi, Kelly! Welcome to EX! There is so much support here and fantastic different suggestions on how to help you keep your Quit. Congratulations on Day 8!! Like Elvan said, you've already made it through Hell Week (first seven days).
Here is a mantra for you to remember when you are having a hard time: "IT WILL GET EASIER". And it WILL, Kelly. It is somewhat more complicated to quit while living with someone who still smokes. But Thomas' comment was solid gold: "He HAS to smoke. You don't anymore!"
I know you've gotten a lot of advice and suggestions already here on your first post, but I'd like to add one more article to your suggested reading: On the website whyquit.com, look for an article on the homepage titled "Nicotine Addiction 101". It's not light reading, but it clearly describes how the drug nicotine affects your brain and how your brain, in turn, affects your body and your thoughts about smoking. When you truly understand why your brain is telling you that you want to smoke, it's much easier to beat a craving because you can almost view what's happening to you as an outsider.
We are here for you, all the time! Keep blogging, Kelly!
Sky
You are doing great with your quit, keep moving forward and stacking up your precious smoke free days....
Welcome to the site! Congrats on your quit! Please check out the Carr book Nancy mentioned. It will show you what Tomas and Ellen were saying, we need to feel sorry for smoker......they don't get to smoke.....they HAVE to! You are doing great....stick around!
8 days is awesome! Congrats!! Definitley read the Allen Carr book, the Easy Way. It will change the way you think about smoking.
I can hardly believe all the warm welcomes! I have severe anxiety and panic attacks. Not smoking seems to have made it worse. Well I don't really know if it's the quit or the Chantix to be honest. But either way my anxiety has been out of control. I keep thinking that I can just push thru. I had a hard time last night I had some weak moments and I almost gave in and smoked. But I thought about my 4 year old beautiful daughter. It was never her choice to breath in my disgusting second hand smoke. I have to do this for me and for her. She is what's most important. She is my reason for everything. She deserves to have a healthy mom that will be there to watch her grow up.
I truly am so grateful that I have found this community to share my story with and actually have someone listen and understand my struggles. All of us are in the same situation, just at different stages. I feel comfortable here and look forward to getting to know you as we all continue our journey.
Kellybeth, read this. I think it is one of the best blogs I have ever read about quitting and the reasons to quit. SkyGirl published it yesterday, and I think it might help in those moments where you really want to give in. Hang in there! Here's what smoking DOESN'T do for you...
You are doing beautifully, sorry that you are struggling but no crave lasts forever and no crave ever killed anyone. Smoking helps NOTHING but it sure does do lots of damage. My son took Chantix and had to stop because of severe anxiety and panic attacks so that could be contributing to it. No matter what is happening, it is not worth smoking over, YOU deserve to be healthy and happy and proud of yourself.
Kellybeth I am so impressed with your accomplishment; especially as you live with a continuing smoker, wow! I am now 8 days too and I swear by Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Smoking - it's what made it easy for me to firmly decide to stop. I "found" the book through this site just about 3 days before my quit date and was so grateful for it. I am on Wellbutrin, just one per day and I believe it keeps my nerves in check, I don't tank by end of day, thank goodness! I've had tough moments like everyone does and I have the support of a quit buddy at work - he is using the gum and really important.... I have the support of this site and it's great peeps. Keep your reasons to quit right in front of your nose - you are strong to come this far by yourself and now you can lean on us for great support and stay strong.
Pamela
Hope you are doing well and that you know we are still thinking of you!
Welcome to our community!
You've arrived at the right place. You will have plenty of people to "talk" to!
Congratulations on your decision to quit and your first eight days. That's a good beginning!
The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. I think you will be amazed at what you don't know about it. To that end, I strongly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:
http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf
As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
http://community.becomeanex.org/pg/blog/read/5711492/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy