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Give and get support around quitting

Kellybeth
Member

New here

Hi. My name is Kelly. I just joined this website in hopes of finding people that are going through the same thing as me. I am hoping this is an active board. I'm still trying to figure it out!

 

I have been taking Chantix for 28 days. I have not had a cigarette in 8 days. I still feel like it is a struggle at times to fight the urge to smoke. My husband is still smoking and I feel angry and jealous that he gets to smoke and I can't.

I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to.

23 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

You've arrived at the right place.  You will have plenty of people to "talk" to! 

Congratulations on your decision to quit and your first eight days. That's a good beginning! 

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. I think you will be amazed at what you don't know about it.  To that end, I strongly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 

As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

http://community.becomeanex.org/pg/blog/read/5711492/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

He gets to smoke and you can't? Maybe we can turn that thought back on itself :

He has to smoke and you don't!

Congrats on 8 Days! You're in the correct place!

Mortalzeus
Member

Kelly, Congratulations on your 8 DOF.  Amazing start and every day WON is a step closer to freeing yourself from the restraints of cigarettes!  Share with us your Journey and let us know how we can help! 

Darren

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susan_m
Member

Hey Kelly!  Congratulations on your quit!  8 days is fantastic!

You've come to the right place if you want to talk - this site is really good for that!

Susan 

elvan
Member

Congratulations on your quit, Kelly...the first week is affectionately referred to as "Hell Week" and you made it through all by yourself and the second week is "Heck Week."  Thomas3.20.2010  is right  about your husband, he doesn't "get" to smoke, he "has" to smoke.  It is an addiction and the more you learn about addiction to nicotine, the better.  We most definitely are here to support you and we want you to be successful.  We all had to start at day one and there are no shortcuts, the only way out is through...is something you will read more than once here.  The acronym that helped me the most was NOPE, Not One Puff Ever but that was overwhelming to many people so take it one day at a time, sometimes, one hour or one minute at a time.  No crave lasts forever and no crave every killed anyone.  Think of the reasons you are quitting and understand that you are not giving anything up, you are taking BACK your life.  You weren't born smoking, none of us were, once we became addicted to nicotine, it was in charge of us and every decision we made.  That's where your husband is now...nicotine is his boss.  You will actually learn a great deal about yourself by not smoking.  The nicotine stunts our emotional growth because it numbs our feelings towards things that happen, good things and bad things.  Happy and sad...smoking does not ease pain, physical or emotional, it does not make things better, no matter what those things are.  Smoking causes stress, it doesn't relieve it, we were lied to by our addiction and once we begin to really feel things as they were meant to be felt all along, we grow...it is surprising how much we stuffed down because we were smoking.

Welcome to EX and to the beginning of your journey.  Glad you are here and happy that you made this decision, you will not regret it!

Ellen

Kellybeth
Member

"He gets to smoke and you can't? Maybe we can turn that thought back on itself :

He has to smoke and you don't!"

I LOVE that!! It really is true! It's hard right now. I feel like I have lost a friend. Is it strange to feel a loss?? But I also can't believe how much time smoking actually took up. I feel like I have much more free time now. I'm proud of myself but also feel a little lost.

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susan_m
Member

I went through all 7 stages of grief... sounds like you will, too, and it is very common.  Bargaining scared me to death!  You can do this, Kellybeth - keep laughing and always, always find the good.  When a craving comes, just ride the wave and take deep breaths.

Hang in there!

elvan
Member

It is not at all strange to feel a loss, many of us went through a grieving period for what we thought was the loss of a friend.  Cigarettes are not friends...friends are not controlling you and basically trying to kill you.  It's normal to feel a loss and to feel a little lost.  Think of how many ways smoking was tied into your life...you need to replace those smoking times with something else, something healthy, something energizing.  Working out releases dopamine and really gives you a great feeling of accomplishment.  YoungAtHeart‌ can give you a list of 100 things to do instead of smoking.  You need to understand addiction and to understand recovery...you are at the beginning of your recovery.

JustSharon
Member

KellyBeth, you didn't lose a friend. you lost the enemy.

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