Keeping promises to yourself

[ISPEAKINALLCAPS]

Quitting is a huge promise that only you can keep to yourself.

How do you keep yourself accountable?

I understand the support of friends and family help.

But

internally how do you keep yourself accountable and shoo away the excuses and the doubt and everything?

(sorry I like to format everything to imply an inflection, its in my name lol)

[Daniela2016]

First I changed my mind to think in terms of recovery rather than quitting ( I am gaining something: my health back, I am passed the "tipping" point into the "recovery phase", I am not quitting = some kind of loss of something that mattered to me, quitting smoking is not the separation of something precious is the break from something harmful).

Second, with every "crave" I told myself: "wow, another proof I am on the right path to recovery, another proof I no longer smoke" took several deep breaths and got over it.

It is all in the "self talk" about what we are doing: leaving the addiction behind, gaining one more day towards freedom, towards a healthier life.

Take the negative self talk "oh gosh, how much I miss it", and replace it with "thank goodness I can just take the deep breaths, relax, imagine how good, clean air is getting into my lungs, I can follow with my mind's eyes that oxygen going to my smallest cells of my body", and so on, just enough for the crave to go away.

It is all in the power of your mind, it is all in your power!

[John10forteen]

This was so well written Daniela. Short, Sweet, Accurate and Real./ Simply Truthful.

OK enough Kudo's but ...it is a great comment.

[Daniela2016]

Thank you John, it was the truth that kept me going for now 350 days, hoping more can work their minds into the right direction too.

When we come to understand no one else can have bigger power over our actions than our mind, we can conquer any fears. 

Not that I am in that position in all areas of my life (OMG what would I have left to do with the rest of my life then ?), but it can all be worked through if we keep our eyes on the prize.

Have a great weekend everyone, thanks Thomas for the great comment!

And yes John10forteen‌ I am still using Thomas' Ride the Wave visual whenever the temptation comes back (can't call it a crave anymore, but the temptation, it sure visits from time to time)!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Daniela has a great answer! Reframe the action because in the Smoking Cessation business it's actions that count! Feelings and thoughts will come and go but actions are what count. You can spend energy tricking yourself into smoking or you can make it damn hard to smoke and easy-er to quit! Building reward systems into your quit helps. Having a positive mental picture of what it looks like really helps.

Commitment means pledging to yourself every single day - at first, every single hour that you will not smoke! If you were tempted to smoke you would have to drive far (if you can find your keys) buy the Sickerettes - and the lighter, open the pack, take the cancer stick out, put it in your mouth, light the lighter, light the Sickerette, and puff on it! Anywhere in those steps you can change your mind and STOP! 

I have sat in front of the 7-11 for 20 minutes and driven off! I have even gone inside and said the magic words - but changed half way through the sentence, "No, forget that! I don't do that anymore" and bought some gum instead. 

Even after you have taken that one puff, you can put out the Sickerette, destroy the lighter and pack and have a $10 puff! You'll think twice before you do that again!

Pay Attention! When you know what you are doing in the process of doing it you have more power to decide if this is really what you want to do! Take back your POWER!

[John10forteen]

Daniela2016‌ Everything she wrote is spot on. Read it again. You are working towards Gaining Something. That is so different than the mindset of depriving yourself. Use positive self talk. You'll start seeing a lot of positive self talk acronyms or sayings. There are many and they HELP CONQUER the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) in your head,.You will learn these and use them everyday. I'm eager to see you in the DDC club. 

My best visual is RIDE THE WAVE by Thomas... I'll find a link for you.

It is all in the power of your mind, it is all in your power! = BELIEVE IT!

[John10forteen]

I can't find that great story about riding the wave to the surf instead of freaking out and crashing into the rocks... Any help to the original post... Thomas???

[elvan]

I promised myself and found that it was much easier for me to keep those promises than the ones I had made in the past and broken.  When you are completely honest with yourself, you will realize that smoking is not doing anything FOR you, just TO you.  The first few days are rough, all I thought about was smoking and I was not sure I could handle becoming this new person but I kept my promise to myself...if I could HONESTLY come up with a reason that smoking would help after everything I had read, everything I already knew, and the irreversible damage I have done to my lungs and the rest of me, well, then I would smoke.  I never came up with that reason, never even came close.  I had accepted that the crave would pass whether I smoked or not, that smoking did not relieve physical or emotional pain, smoking did not relieve stress...if it did, why was I so stressed out about trying to find a place to smoke.  I was stressed WHILE I was smoking, usually thinking that I didn't want anyone to see me and wondering when I could have another cigarette.  I did the reading, I prepared for my quit, I relied very heavily on EX and I blogged and read blogs and read the stories of those with "forever" quits and I knew that I wanted to be one of them.  I have found out so much about myself that I would never have found out if I still smoked, I have discovered how strong I am in so many ways.  I blunted my emotions because I stuffed everything down with nicotine, I never learned to feel the way people who are not addicts learned when they were young.  This is a journey of self discovery and keeping a promise to yourself means that you recognize that you are important and valuable and the promises you make to that important and valuable person will help you to grow in so many ways.  Right now you need to keep your quit at one day at a time or one hour at a time or one minute at a time...whatever works, just DON'T SMOKE.  There are not shortcuts to freedom, one step at a time, keep repeating NOPE, not one puff ever, "I don't do that anymore."  Accept that it will get easier as you allow yourself to grow.  There will be some growing pains but nothing you can't handle.  Blog, ask for help like you are doing now and then take that help and put it to use.

Ellen

[Thomas3.20.2010]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/72021-the-push-and-pull?sr=search&searchId=f3278774-d2f1-...‌ 

[cbgerber]

Good question!  I was sitting here thinking the same thing and seriously wondering what is really wrong with my mind.  It keeps bringing me back to the point of one more cigarette.  You are right I am the one responsible here and that's the problem - I get to a certain point and then just crash.