Rant: Didn't You Come Here Asking for Help?

[Thomas3.20.2010]

I'm ticked! It takes a lot for me to get ticked but when I do I explode like a volcano and then I calm down and start thinking reasonable. Hopefully this will happen this time too!

Day after day people come here and ask for answers and support. And day after day the Community of all walks comes here and helps with whatever strength and efforts, answers and knowledge that they have. 

Then there are occasionally those very few who come here, ask for support and then turn around and say, "Who asked you?" 

Well....you did! Or did I miss something? 

If what you really want is for the Community to assure you that you already have the answers about Smoking Cessation and support means that I agree with mistaken concepts that virtually all Nicotine Addicts have about their drug of choice then I can't just say, "Oh Yes! That's a great idea!"

- Hold onto that last pack!

- Hang out with your smoking buddies!

- Keep that smoking patio!

- Go to bars and drink!

I can't do that!

It's not because I'm contrary and against different ways of thinking!

It's because I suffer every moment of every day with a smoking related illness.  It's because I know that nobody wants to die but there are some ways of living that are worse than dying! Dying happens to all of us! 

Because I care about You I don't want you to live the horrible life of an Addict who little by little dwindles away their Quality of Life while they continue to suck on their Sickerettes! 

I get tired. But I come back because I care so much! And I won't smoke over it because smoking never did anything for me - it just robbed me of Quality of everyday Life! Don't let it happen to you!

[JustSharon]

Good morning Thomas, what a powerful Rant! Yes people do come in and out looking for help and then don't seem to run with it. We must know though that that is all part of the addiction too. At the moment they ask for help some are serious and ready to hop on the train and others are just stumbling around not know for sure what to do with the information they have received, they may just be sticking a toe in the water. At any rate dear Thomas, be patient and just open your arms wide for those who express a serious need for help. May God bless you with a blessed smoke free day. HUGS!

[Mortalzeus]

TOUCHÉ TOUCHÉ SIR! 

[TerrieQuit]

are you serious right now?

[TerrieQuit]

Thomas, I love what you post and all of the information you provide for us and remember that's all you can do! "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink"! Thanks for all you do here Thomas3.20.2010 

~Terrie~   Have a great day!

[MarilynH]

I believe that this rant was needed by all of us Exers this morning Thomas3.20.2010 ,I've been feeling like should I keep coming back and then I read this post and it answered my question, yes I will keep coming back at least for awhile longer because anyone can quit smoking if they're 100 % willing, determined and totally committed and by educating yourself by reading everything you can here which will strengthen your resolve to quit smoking and Remain quit, we want everyone to be successful because Quitting smoking is definitely difficult but very Doable and worth it! Oops sorry Thomas I didn't mean to go on and on, huge hug my friend and fellow Exer.

[Daniela2016]

Thanks Thomas, many of us are not by far as dedicated of providing the type of qualified support you do, or the research you do and hand it out for all to use; some of us are rather the hand holders, and willingly share our own experience, while encouraging good intentions, directions, behavior, we know by now worked for us.

And we still feel the same rejection you might; we still feel we are not being heard, we spend the time day or night to answer questions that are never being acknowledged, or input that seems to never be appreciated.

And much like you or Marilyn I started questioning my presence here; as I approach 1 year anniversary and I feel some type of acceptance of my new EX status, with the occasional cravings which make me use my tool box, I question if my desire to give back is not just another waste in the web world...

Maybe some time away will help, as I need most of my energies to concentrate on healing from the bad shape I am in.  And feeling not useful here, is not a good state of mind conducive to physical healing.

As I ponder my decision, I hope you are staying, knowing what an asset you are for this community, and thank you for all the step by step guidance you provided to me during my most difficult times (and actually all the times) of my own recovery!

Thank you for everything you do here Thomas, this community can never be the same without your input!

[Posamari]

Please don't ever think your input or contributions are not appreciated! Your participation and advice are affecting many lives worldwide for the positive.  Even a teacher in a classroom has a few they just can't get *on board*, no matter how hard they try. This site is successful and active because of the members and most importantly you elders. You elders are the reason members keep coming back for the support. Please don't think your time and energy are for naught. YOU ARE ALL APPRECIATED. One thing to keep in mind though, not everyone may have the time to check into the site several times a day or even once a day. Some may be cyber shy and or socially introverted and are comfortable just reading the many posts. Do not take it personal,  you all are valued immensely!  Now the ones that just want to argue about your advice, well, like the saying goes, there's a *jerk* born every minute. We can only hope we don't let them get under our skin. This site would be nothing without the elders and long term members contributions.  I may not participate every day but I do try to check in and I truly believe, my quit would not have been successful thus far if it wasn't for this site and the elders and members support and advice. I'd still be smoking at least 30 cigarettes a day and my health would be in the can. I can honestly say that you *guys* were instrumental in giving me back my life from nicotine addiction and I will always be grateful. 

NOPE.

[MarilynH]

You are a huge help to the people that are contemplating quitting or early in their quit journey and you are there for them, you're here for me and everyone of us and I thank you too Daniela2016 ,I thank you Thomas3.20.2010 and each and everyone of you that are here to give a helping hand to those that need it thank you.

[ccrider]

Dear Thomas, Thank you for your "Rant" I think more than a few of us needed to hear it.