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Give and get support around quitting

ccrider
Member

Need help!

I have been having a lot of mood swings lately which cause a lot of fights with my husband.I don't know what to do for them except to let them pass,he is not patient and insists that I join a physical group such as a smokers anon group.The nearest one is about an hour away at night. I hate driving at night. I feel that I am getting the support that I need here, the last physical group that I tried was more of a social gathering than a group Most of you have more experience than me so any thoughts and suggestions will be deeply appreciated,can't  keep doing these fights

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18 Replies
diamond01
Member

Hi, I feel the same way, trying to pick a fight, I just fill like my head is all cloudy, and I have a lot of anxiety I have been a non smoker since Jan.1 2017 so not very long, it has been a long road so far. Good Luck Helen.

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Jennifer-Quit
Member

This is a great place for support.  My anger issues were helped with a little exercise more than anything.  How long have you been quit?

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Jennifer-Quit
Member

OK sorry -you are coming up on 2 months - that is great!  Your anxiety should start to lessen.  Remember, life with all its stresses happens whether  or not you smoke!  

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diamond01
Member

Jan. 1/2017

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diamond01
Member

my head fills like a big bubble, and lot's of anxiety, when will this stop?

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Giulia
Member

diamond01‌  What are you doing to help yourself?  We have to take an active part in our quits.  Are you practicing any anxiety-reduction techniques?  Have you tried meditation or soothing music, relaxation techniques?  Have you considered a tai chi course?  Soothing warm baths?  Here are a couple of links that may be helpful:  @Daily Tips and Exercises for the COPD Patient - Relaxation Technique (From Lincare) ; @/blogs/Thomas3.20.2010-blog/2015/09/02/relaxing-into-tension .  Also you might  goggle anxiety reduction techniques.  Here's one I found: 

When will it stop?  A lot of it has to do with your attitude toward your quit.  The sooner you go with the flow of your choice and accept it,  rather than fighting it, the sooner I believe it will stop.  

Giulia
Member

Anxiety and stress, mood swings are are normal parts of most of our lives.  When we quit smoking it seems to make us more aware of those problems as many have used smoking as a "smoke screen."  Part of the necessary homework we each need to do when we quit is to find new ways of dealing with anxiety and stress.  Deep breathing is a very simple but effective technique.  Experiment with different things.  Find what works best for YOU.  And continue to educate yourself.  Type "stress reduction" in the search area (upper right magnifying glass).  You'll find a wealth of different material. 

That doesn't really answer your problem regarding your fights with your husband.  I can't really counsel on that, but if you feel comfortable here with the support you're getting and you don't want to drive an hour for face-to-face meetings, logic dictates that you do what you feel most comfortable with and that which you think will benefit you the most.  What someone else thinks can be taken into accord and given appropriate open-mind consideration, but ultimately it's what we feel is best for US, not what THEY think is best for us.  The bottom line is - do what works for you.  For what doesn't work is a waste of time.  Just remain open-minded to other suggestions.

Bitsuk
Member

Dear,

   It feels little weird that your husband is not supporting you. I think he doesn't really understand what this Community is like. So I suggest you to ask your husband to join the Community as well so that he can really show some support. Once he join us, maybe he will understand how live this Community is. 

   Or, you also can explain how you hate driving in the night and ask him to drive for you. It seems like he really supports you but he doesn't know how. He's worrying you might fail instead of supporting you. So talk to him. Let him understand how you want to be supported. Little talking will give him a chance to see your motives here, and love you even more. 

Good luck!

Best regards,

Bitsuk

When we used to smoke and got angry many of us walked away and sucked a Sickerette. In the beginning of our Quits we had to find a balance of "pick your battles." We had to learn to adjust to a flood of new emotions - self assertion vs aggressiveness. As Giulia points out there are any number of techniques that you can use to help you make this adjustment: Mindfulness Meditation, Muscle Relaxation, Guided Visualization, Exercise - even Diet.

Of all of these nothing has helped me find the gap between the stimulus of triggered anger and the response I make to it like Mindfulness. It gives you. that nanosecond to choose my reaction when I get irritated. It relieves my generalized anxiety and sensitivity to other people's comments. It adjusts my perception of the world and my place in it

I wouldn't be able to address your relationship with your husband since I don't know either one of you but I can tell you that the speed of psychological recovery from Nicotine Addiction is totally about your attitude and believes. Your Quit Journey is what you think it is! If you don't like it - change it! 

Time cures all Nicotine Addiction eventually or you can decide to make Today the day it changes!

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