What would your conversation be to a serial quitter?

Discussion created by JACKIE1-25-15 on Feb 4, 2017
Latest reply on Feb 5, 2017 by TerrieQuit

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That question brings mixed concerns. I think the first thing I would say is never give up. Second is to believe in yourself. Think of saving your life. If you can go 24 hrs, you can do the rest. It is "doable". Stay close to this site on a regular basis. Bookmark your days here. Learn ways to be smoke free and stay smoke free. Educate yourself about nicotine addiction. Most importantly believe that you can do the NOPE. not on puff ever.
NOPE Will keep you free. Have a smoke free day. Not only be good to yourself. Be good to someone else. God loves you and so do I. Life is short. Just left a funeral. Give me my roses while I am alive. Peace out.

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20 Replies

crazymama_Lori Feb 4, 2017 3:49 PM
My first question would be, what do you believe that white stick does for you that you can't do for yourself? What is so magical about that "thing" that makes you think it solves all of life's problems? How do you believe that comforts you, gives you joy, keeps you company? If you think it relaxes you, then why are you tense again after five to ten minutes? What is really drawing you back every single time? It's got to be something. You've come back time and time again. Have you even thought of other ways, other things to do instead of lighting up? I'm a firm believer of the why. I understand the how, we're hooked on the nicotine. But why do you keep going back?
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- JACKIE1-25-15 @ crazymama_Lori on Feb 4, 2017 3:59 PM
  Thank you for responding. I truly feel this is an issue that should often be addressed.
  With we can do it.
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Pops Feb 4, 2017 4:01 PM
Do not ever feel less than, or ashamed. Those are negative feelings that the addiction will use as excuses to keep you smoking. They, as well as every other thing you were ever told about the thrill or sexiness or machoism around smoking...it is all a "huge lie!" Keep on trying...I did, and here I am...living the dream in a day by day existence, one day at a time.

Never, ever give up.
Pops 256 days of freedom!
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- JACKIE1-25-15 @ Pops on Feb 4, 2017 4:04 PM
  Beautiful. You can move to the front of the class and take off the dunce cap.
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Thomas3.20.2010 Feb 4, 2017 4:13 PM
First my condolences, Jackie! I feel your pain!
I was that Serial Quitter!
I would quit for everybody but myself. I would quit because I felt like I was "supposed to!"
I would quit knowing that I would relapse!
You see, I was afraid! I didn't know who I could be without Nicotine! And I didn't think I could like (LOVE) that man!
I hoped Sickerettes gave me my personality -
But what they did was to rob me of ME!
So what would I tell the Serial Quitter?
You will be afraid sometimes, many times!
But you can stay the course by taking it one day at a time!
Believe in Yourself! The person under that smoke cloud is as Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 reminds us uniquely superb!
And living Addiction Free brings you closer to the Best you that you can be!
So don't do it for awhile! Don't do it for your Friends and Loved Ones!
Don't do it because you should!
Quit Smoking because you will discover the Real You that your Creator means for you to be!
You're worth it!
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- JACKIE1-25-15 @ Thomas3.20.2010 on Feb 4, 2017 4:21 PM
  Thank you Thomas for that very articulate answer. You are also in from of the class. Until I did for
  me
  I did not stay smoke free.
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elvan Feb 4, 2017 6:44 PM
I would tell the serial quitter that I have been there and that I told myself it was not the right time to quit, I had too much stress, I was in too much pain, my life was "falling apart." Yeah, I have heard them all because I have USED them all. I would tell the person to never quit quitting because if you do, you are asking your friends and your family to watch you slowly commit suicide. You are lying to yourself, smoking does not fix anything, it doesn't even change anything except for your body, it ravages your body and causes so many different kinds of cancer that I have lost track. If you want to smoke, you can use the same excuse I used and I have heard being used..."I could get hit by a bus tomorrow." You're right, you could but would you WILLINGLY step out in front of an oncoming bus? If so, see ya on the other side, friend. You can choose what you do next.
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Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Feb 4, 2017 7:05 PM
What an interesting question, Jackie!
I would tell a serial quitter to stop waiting. Stop waiting for the magic. Stop waiting for a miracle. Stop waiting for the 'right moment'. Because you are the magic, you are the miracle, and there is no such thing as the right moment. Everything you need to quit you'll find within you. So stop waiting. Stop looking. Stop wanting. And take action.
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- JACKIE1-25-15 @ Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 on Feb 4, 2017 8:13 PM
  Another
  
  A+ Elder
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Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Feb 4, 2017 7:13 PM
I also was that serial Quitter it took me at least 6 failed attempts over many decades , I had no self esteem when it came to quitting until I found out about the mild copd then I knew that I had to quit for my health and my quality of life. So I would tell that serial Quitter to be willing, determined and 100 % committed to be successful and then read everything you can to strengthen your resolve to quit and remain quit because it's very Doable and if you want something bad enough then don't quit, keep moving forward and stacking up those precious smoke free days one day at a time or if need be one hr, one minute or even one second at a time but keep your chin up and believe in yourself!JACKIE1-25-15
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BonnieBee.quit.2.8.15 Feb 4, 2017 8:06 PM
Great question Jackie ,
I would first welcome the person back if they were ready to try again sometimes I advise the person to first think about what happened and figure out why they relapsed before quitting I know a person sometimes need to recoup . I would also tell them that I relapsed many times in my past and so did many other Ex'ers. I would tell them not to make the mistake I did by waiting years to try to quit again . Finally , I would also tell them Ex really helped me to make a commitment ,think positive about my quit ,lighten up and laugh at myself and never to take one puff ever (NOPE) .
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- JACKIE1-25-15 @ BonnieBee.quit.2.8.15 on Feb 4, 2017 8:14 PM
  Love it.
  So real and to the point,
  Thank you for sharing in the conversation.,
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Giulia Feb 4, 2017 11:34 PM
For me it would entirely depend upon the serial quitter and how they expressed themselves. Their attitude. And it would also depend upon how long they had been a member of this site and how many times they said "I'm baaaaak!" Truly. How many times should we gently nourish and give the "welcome back" responses (with all the attendant truly wonderful advice - as expressed above me) when they seem to have not produced any results? By results I mean "quit success". That's the point here, is it not? So I tend to get a little snarky (a LOT snarky) when all the advice that's been given here time after time to the same person never seems to get through their thick skulls. At that point I become less "nourishing" and more blunt in my approach. Because the past "oh, it's okay, welcome back" response nourishment hasn't produced a quitter. Just a relapser. Over and over again. Because maybe they just need a good slap upside the head. Really.

So in answer to your question, which is a really good one - my "conversation" with serial quitters is a fluid experience dependent upon them and my perception of them. I've made some really bad support choices here (by being too blunt to the person who simply couldn't handle it), and some really good ones (by those appreciating that kind of response). And I keep learning. But there is no one-size-fits all response in my book.

It depends mostly upon the person to whom I'm speaking and what excuses, if any, they're coming up with to justify their relapse. And if they're "serial" quitters - there have got to be excuses. No? Even the "I knew better...." is an excuse.
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- JACKIE1-25-15 @ Giulia on Feb 4, 2017 11:44 PM
  Great thoughts. Thank you for sharing. I will remember this vital info the next time I "conversate" with a serial quitter. lol Right On!
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  - Giulia @ JACKIE1-25-15 on Feb 4, 2017 11:59 PM
    You conversate real good, Jackie. Real good! And you ask provocative questions that engender thoughtful responses. Thank you.
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c2q Feb 5, 2017 10:41 AM
Quitting is a journey, not a moment in time. Every time you lay down the habit, even for a few days or a few hours, you are closer to being quit. If you thought you were quit but smoked again, it just means that you are not done looking for your one true quit. Use your experience to your advantage.
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- BonnieBee.quit.2.8.15 @ c2q on Feb 5, 2017 12:17 PM
  Great answer and advice ! c2q what is your first name if you don't mind revealing it ? I may have asked before but I can't remember it
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  - c2q @ BonnieBee.quit.2.8.15 on Feb 5, 2017 12:29 PM
    Thanks Bonnie. I'm Pati
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Christine13 Feb 5, 2017 2:37 PM
I am a dreaded serial quitter. I have been in a quagmire of start and stop for years. Guillia I sure do need that slap upside the head. I am ashamed and feel like a walking joke. I honestly don't know what keeps taking me back to it.
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. It's just plain stupid. There is a little light of hope in me still and a voice that whispers to me Never, Never, Give Up. It gives me hope to see those post who were also mired down in the quagmire and broke free.
All I can do is never stop trying to "get" it. Thank you Jackie and for all those who posted. I think this post hit the nail on the head for me.
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TerrieQuit Feb 5, 2017 2:58 PM
Goodness, Jackie! A great discussion this is. I give support for a very long time. I was very impatient with it at first! But I have grown a lot since we lost Courage (Fannie) I tend to lend support and education even when I'm tired! ~Terrie~ 60 DOF
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What would your conversation be to a serial quitter?

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