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Give and get support around quitting

tamlynn
Member

Just Joined EX

Hi. I'm Tamlynn and I just joined EX tonight. It's time. Quitting has been on my heart and mind for years, but since November I have been steadily working toward seriously psyching myself to do it.

I'm a mom of 3 kids, and swore that each time I got pregnant that was it. Needless to say, my oldest is going into high school this Fall and I'm still smoking. I've stopped and started more than I can count. I now realize that sometimes I tried to quit because of pressure from others and not because I wanted to and that's why I failed.

Now, though, it's for me. But I need help.

I have talked to my husband and doctor about this, but I don't feel like I can go to the rest of my family and friends. My Best Friend (23+ years) once told me that she KNEW I'd never really quit, that her husband who smokes more and longer than I have would quit first and last. That hurt a lot. I just don't think I could trust her with this at this stage of the game because I just keep hearing her say that and every time I'd talk to her, I would remember that. And my family, well let's just say any time I've tried to involve them in my quitting programs they became so enthusiastic in their support that it made me tense enough to run right back to it. I don't want this to happen again.

So, I need help from strangers at this point. People who have been there or are there and understand. People who know that encouragement is important, but constantly asking me how many cigs I've smoked today is not. (Does that makes sense?)

I already know my triggers. As I said, I talked to my Doc. In November I began to quit, using the same methods discussed here (learning to relive life without cigs, increasing time between, etc) and I went from 25+ cigs a day to less than 10. I was on my way. Then in January I went in for emergency surgery to remove gall bladder. I didn't smoke the entire four days I was in the hospital, didn't crave it. But not five minutes after we left I made him pull into a gas station and buy me a lighter and cigs. I barely smoked the following days, but once the pain receded and I was well enough to be awake most of the days, I worked back up to 25+ a day because I was bored.

I know some of mine is a mindset (and also addiction). If I'm in a place where I know smoking is not allowed, I do not even think about it. I have gone hours, and sometimes DAYS without smoking, without craving it (conferences, hospitals, etc.) but the moment I am away from that setting I get the worst craving ever. And of course, as soon as I took that first drag I'd start beating myself up because I'd been smoke-free for days and here I was doing it again.

As mentioned above, my doc and I talked about this in November -- she really wants me to try this without medication, and we would evaluate. As long as it was bearable, we would continue to monitor it and see where I go. I stocked up on fresh fruits and veggies and exercised and kept busy--it worked (until the surgery). So for the moment, we are going at this without medications.

Anyway, that's where I am. I want a clean body, clean mind and a clean house for me and my precious family.

I need your encouragement and support. Just knowing I'm not alone is a big relief.

I've set a target date of Aug 17th to quit. It's a special day to me so it would mean a lot. That gives me one month to relearn again.
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12 Replies
judy9
Member

Hang in there,girl. I know quitting IS hard,but when you finally do,you'll feel better. I know right now you are getting those "Withdraw headaches" and boy do they hurt. But even they will pass with time. It is the mind doing without the nicotine right now. It really sucks but once your past that point, your body starts to heal itself. And if you're like me, your lungs cough up crap and that hurts also but you need that . And you are right about the fact that it is YOU who needs to make up their mind weather or not you're going to smoke. Not others deciding for you. I know that never works!! It has to be a decision that you, and only you can make.(And commit to). No one else can do it for you. I hope you decide to come here often and reads these blogs from people on here because they are truely insprational!! They have helped me when I could not even talk to my family about my feelings on the subject. So please,Tamlynn,,come back here often and I promise we will always be here for you. Aug.17....here we come!!!! best of Luck,,, Judy
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emtdee
Member

Good Lord Tamlynn, you sound just like me! I haven't had surgery but everything else is almost identical...I am amazed. Anyway, Hi, how are ya? I just joined tonite and am ready, willing and prayerfully able to try this. I totally understand what you said about the support w/o the "how many have you had" questions, I went thru that too. I am still smoking and like you said, I ran back to them. Whew, although it's tough and sounds horrible, I am glad I'm not alone. we are crazy for smoking..all that money could buy so much. I need help too, I want out of this addiciton-bad! Godd luck to you.
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andrea30
Member

You sound like you have some of the same issues as me. My family wants me to quit so bad it makes it hard to actually try to start quiting. Knowing that they will just think I failed because I couldn't do it is hard. I would love to help you through this if a stranger is what you need. It might be a good thing for me as well. My husband and I are going to try to have another baby in October and I want to be smoke free by then. I've just started with EX tonight and don't really know where to begin. If you have some thoughts let me know. If there is anything I can do to help you please just say so.
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katie31
Member

You are not alone here! You are on your way to a clean body, mind and house.
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joyce3
Member

Hello:

WOW! Your story and mine are the same....everytime I try to tell my family that I want to quit, they get WAY too encouraging and the pressure is too intense!

I want to quit on September 1, 2008. It will be my 44th birthday and it would mark 29 years of smoking......that is insane and ridiculous.

I have three GREAT kids, one of them has a major disability and is only four years old, he is going to NEED me to be here for him, plus, I am recently divorced and cannot afford a $8.00 a day habit.....I want to be able to spend that money on my kids!!!

I just joined EX today and have high hopes that I will be able to finally quit this time!!!

Good luck to you, it sounds like you are going to make it girl!!!!!
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michelle17
Member

It is going to be hard.... At first. But you can do it.
You are going to find something to do with your hands.
Keep telling yourself what you are doing and how you are going to get there.
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breda
Member

Hi, I just joined. I've tried quitting hundreds of times but for the past few months I've realized how smoking is affecting my health. I also am extremely embarrassed to smoke in front of people other than my family. I feel like people look down on me because I smoke. But it's really me looking down on me. I'm hopeful this will help me finally do this!!!!
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darcie2
Member

You can make it. We all have to support each other. Today is day 7 for me. I have not had a smoke in 7 days. I'm using the patch though. I don't think I could do it without some help. I know what you mean though, we are not allowed to smoke at work and it does not bother me, but when work is over that was always the first thing I did. That's still the one that i miss the most. My last quit date was going to be on July 13, which would have been my moms b-day. She died at the age of 45 from an asthma attack. My mom never smoked a day in her life. My 2 children and I also have asthma yet I have been smoking for 21 years. Not to smart. I did not smoke on her birthday but started again the day after. Now i have been smoke free for 7 days.
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judy9
Member

Darcie, I don't know how old you are BUT when I read about your mom dying at age 45, it hits home with me because i am 47 now and was told 3 years ago or so that I had given myself COPD. I just reciently quit 8 months ago after 30 years of smoking. See, I was hard headed too. I didn't think I would ever hurt myself enought to ever HAVE to quit. I Loved my menthol cigs. But over the years I grew to hate them and all the hassle that came with them. I'm glad to hear you're useing the patch,,,that's how I did it too. It helps take the edge off. Keep coming back to this site because it does help.o.k.?? Glad you're on board with us all ! ! ! And to Breda, Welcome Aboard Too...... Come back often....
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