Smoking around me (and our child)

[quit4melody]

Okay so I quit 2/1/09 and my husband still smokes. He smokes outside BUT when we're all in the car together he smokes. It gags me and our daughter. I have made comments about it but he simply says, "Just because you quit don't force me to!" I know that I just need to grow a backbone but how do I get him to stop smoking around his daughter??????

[jessica12]

Let him know that you're not trying to get him to quit... you just don't want him to smoke in such close proximity to your daughter. There are health risks of secondhand smoke, especially for children. It can aggravate allergies, cause asthma, and even contribute to the risk of SIDS. Look around online for credible sources that detail the health risks to your daughter, and if your husband won't read it, educate yourself enough so that you can inform him yourself, the next time he lights up in the car. Try to have him go with you the next time you take your daughter to the pediatrician. Ask the doctor if there is any risk in smoking with your daughter in the car. You know the answer, but maybe your husband just needs to hear it from the doctor's mouth. One thing i've learned about men is that if you want to get one to change, you have to make it seem like it's his idea 😉 Good luck to you!

[Denise28]

I make it very difficult so I am hoping that my husband will eventually see that not only is inconvenient to smoke at work or other public places but it is also inconvenient to smoke at home too.

We never smoked in our house or cars because of the kids.

Tell him that you are not forcing him to quit but you would prefer that he stop when he has to smoke and go stand outside.

[Kbloodless]

Very good suggestion! Make it sound like no big deal to stop and let him smoke outside this will help him! if he refuses this too then don’t share a vehicle with him. I say. Hopefully that’s an option.

[DOCmarkC]

My wife continues to smoke. Not in the house, but in her car.
Her car is a mini-van that seats 7 comfortably. But when we take a drive anywhere with our family of five we take my car or two cars. I will not ride in her car. Not only because she will smoke in it, but because she DOES smoke in it and the smell is overpowering even if she doesn't smoke on that particular drive.
The inconvenience and discomfort is not caused my me being a non-smoker, but by her being a smoker.

[Kbloodless]

Third hand smoke is toxic too. In several states like mine CA it has been illegal to smoke in a car with a minor present. You can’t make him though. If he refuses to follow the law, or acknowledge and care about your and your child’s right to a non toxic environment then the only option would be to not knowingly go into a vehicle with your partner. If you have to do that and they become abusive, claiming you’re punishing them or making a big deal you don’t have to get defensive or explain yourself but you can say if you want something like, this has nothing to do with me wanting to control you, it has everything to do with my right to a non toxic environment while in a vehicle or in my home, and out child’s right to a non toxic environment as well. I love you and am sorry if you feel punished, but this is how it will be moving forward and it in know way came about to control or cause pain for you specifically. Also the lungs and minds of children are much more negatively affected by 2nd and 3rd hand smoke than adults. ❤️ good job on your quit.