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Give and get support around quitting

andrew3
Member

My hellish night and morning, and wanting to smoke so bad

Last night I almost fell. I came so close, but at the same time was no where near falling.

Here is what happened. I was working on my accounting homework. We have to do it online on this program called Wiley plus. After about two hour I stumbled onto this one problem. I knew I had it right, but yet the program said wrong. I sat calmly for 20 minutes re-reading the book, re-reading the problem. My book said I was right, but the program would not acknowledge this. I asked my best friend for help, he is an accounting major, and about three classes ahead of me. He did the problem the same exact way I did. When I told him he got upset and said the program was wrong. I e-mailed my teacher. He was no help what so ever. So about after another hour of staring and cursing the heavens I decided to get food. I told my girlfriend I was craving the worst I ever have. She said, "I understand if you fall tonight, and will help you get back up." This was really a nice thing to say, I said in reply, "Babe every time I get frustrated with my homework I cannot go and have a smoke." I knew if I did that then pretty soon I would be back to smoking. I realized no matter how frustrated I get I cannot fall into temptation it will be the unraveling of my success.

Then this morning I hear my sister yet again screaming at her boyfriend. I do not understand she screams everyday. Its like a little three year old throwing tantrums. I used the rest room and forgot to put the seat down. To her this means the end of the world. To make this long unorganized rant shorter, she ended up shoving me into the wall. Called my dad and said I pushed her. He now does not want to see me when he gets home. I want to smoke but I will not let myself fail.

Sorry for this horribly unorganized rant. I just needed to type what my fingers wanted.
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4 Replies
edith2
Member

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day, Andrew. I believe you won't relapse though. I have alot of faith in you. Life still happens after we quit; the good, the bad, and the ugly. My weekend was real bad. I'm out there trying to make a living driving cab, and because of the economy, people aren't going out as much as they used to. So what does my boss do? He hires more drivers, we have three other competitors in the county, and the boss puts his idiot friend on the radio, so none of us were getting fares quickly. I came home with $20 for 10 hours work. It definitely has me scared because jobs are scarce for women over 50. I gave all my good physical years to the post office and I was thrown out the door. But I still don't have a good reason to smoke. If you can think of a good enough reason, I'll piss off the 4 1/2 years I have and light up with you. So far no one has taken me up on my offer. However, it is good for you to vent. I just vented on you!
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anna12
Member

I'm so sorry about your sister ranting on ya! I think you may be right about her but if she refuses to see anyone, there is really nothing you can do but you have to let your dad know that SHE pushed you, not the other way! I'm glad to hear that you did not fall, but you know that I would be there to catch you if you did and help you right back up! You have the positive attitude to keep from falling but life does not throw us good things all the time! LOL Look at me for last week!

I hope you have a wonderful smoke free day today, you should be proud of your 2 weeks!

XOXO =0)
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Carol6
Member

WOW, life is not a bowl of cherries, is it! Well hang in there at least something can be wight by u not smoking. Take it easy Hope tomorow will be better.
Carol
There is always someone who needs your attention on ex. Let's ensure everyone has someone supporting them.
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a.d.
Member

I knew if I did that then pretty soon I would be back to smoking. I realized no matter how frustrated I get I cannot fall into temptation it will be the unraveling of my success.

This sounds like a huge turning point. Congratulations, Andrew. Good job for coming here and ranting. Has already saved my butt several times.
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