(NOTE: THE REST OF THE DIALOGUE FOR THIS DISCUSSION IS AS FOLLOWS:)
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Giulia Permalink Reply by Giulia on November 22, 2008 at 9:02pm
Mozee, I guess the only question I can ask you is...did smoking solve any one of these myriad problems for you? Did the cigarette ease your hurt and anger? And if it did, was it only temporary? Aren't you still hurt and angry? My guess is it didn't change a darn thing about the events. But because you were in pain, the cigarette dulled it a bit, gave you a bit of relief/satisfaction for a moment.
Smoking (drugs) are not the answer to solving our emotional problems. We have to learn a new way to deal with them. I keep reiterating this, but it's so true to me: before we ever smoked (at whatever age we began), we had no need for the drugs in cigarettes to enable us to deal with life's hurts. Whether it be on the playground or with best friends who let us down when we were six years old. If we could get through life then without one, we can get through life now without one.
I will say this in response to your last sentence: yes, you do have to want to quit more than you want to smoke. It has to become the priority in your life. Otherwise every incident that upsets us becomes an excuse as to why we had to smoke.
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Mozee Permalink Reply by Mozee on November 23, 2008 at 5:24am
The answer is, of course, no. Cigarettes didn't solve one single thing. However, that is rational thinking. When I came home from church, I was emotional. The first cigarette dulled the anger, and I felt justified, no matter how mistaken I was, to have all the cigarettes I wanted. I couldn't tell off the person who was really rude at church, so I came home and smoked instead. Looking back, it would have been smarter to tell her what I thought of her and not smoke. Now, I'm getting to the point cigarettes don't feel good anymore, so I'm back. I won't say Become An Ex is the entire answer. But it is support we all need very much.
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Melissa Permalink Reply by Melissa on September 12, 2008 at 10:41am
DEar Debbie, I"m definitely no expert on quitting smoking, but I sure know everything about smoking! I know that I have a twisted belief that no matter what the problem that if I just smoke a cigarette that it will be better. But we both know that isn"t so. As a matter of fact it"s exactly the opposite. I have found that the more I think about smoking or should I say when I think about not smoking that"s when I smoke more. It might sound to simple but try not to dwell on the when, where ,and the why"s of the next cigarette.I realize that we have to believe that we have more control over that stupid cigarette than it has over us. And we do!!!! So Please Don"t Give Up!!! God is on our side and we can beat this.
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Darla Permalink Reply by Darla on September 15, 2008 at 8:05pm
Hi Debbie, I'm Darla. Today is my first time on EX. I've been trying to figure out my triggers and realized, that like you, everything is a trigger. I smoke for many reasons, and I smoke alot. Today was my QUIT DAY and I found a pack of cigs ---- I've smoked most of them already. On my stinkin' QUIT DAY ! Can't figure out why, but it feels like I'm sabotaging myself or something along that line. And I'm so pissed at myself, but still, I'll finish that pack tonight. Then tomorrow, commitment to cold turkey. My health is definitly starting to be affected and I can'tdo that to my kids, let alone to myself. That's my biggest motivation. And cold turkey is the only way.
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Ski Fox Permalink Reply by Ski Fox on October 2, 2008 at 12:34am
I admire you for continuing to try - and your right - EVERYTHING is a trigger!!! I haven't even tried to quit yet . Just thinking about quiting is a trigger! I've been smoking since I was 12 and I am now 53 - I can't even IMAGINE life wihout smoking but I know I have to quit sometime and now seems as good a time as any.. I can't even pick a quit date. I still have 7 packs of cigs ledt in the carton plus the one I just opened and am considering quitting when the carton is gone. I'm considering trying the patches and the gum. I figure what I spent on buying the carton I'll spend on the patches and gum instead. Wish me luck.
Ski
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Mozee Permalink Reply by Mozee on November 23, 2008 at 5:37am
Ski Fox, you sound like me! I hate the gum because it sticks to dental work. Wouldn't you think the companies who make gum—any kind of gum—would make it so it doesn't adhere to braces, bridges, etc.? I didn't start smoking until after I was married at age 19. Now I am 62. I guess I thought smoking (back then) would get me through long boring days and make me feel more sophisticated.
I have learned that before I quit there is some work I can do while I am still smoking. I figure out how long it normally is between cigarettes. So then I make a schedule, using that time span and smoking when ever the, say, 15 minutes is up. If it's 5 minutes for you, start there. Then each day after that, add a bit more time between cigarettes. When you are down to smoking only 1—5 cigarettes a day, you're ready to quit. Set your quit date then. When you use the scheduling thing, you're bypassing all the triggers. You can say to yourself, "It's not time for my next cigarette yet." Or you can say, "I am supposed to smoke now." And you smoke. Not to worry, not to worry. The next day, you won't smoke as many cigarettes as you did the day before.
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tempest Permalink Reply by tempest on October 3, 2008 at 7:47am
Debbie...if you don't have insurance and you want Chantix, do here:
http://www.pfizerhelpfulanswers.com/pages/programs/ProgramDetails.a...
this is a patient assistance program to get FREE chantix!!!! go and go now! There are some requiremnts such as low income, no insurance, so on but you may fit the bill and get it for free!
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hwc Permalink Reply by hwc on October 17, 2008 at 5:13pm
The reason everything is a trigger is that smoking only does one thing:
Reliieves the withdrawal symptoms when the nicotine from the last one wears off.
Thus, everything we do between finishing one cigarette and starting the next one can become a trigger. The worst triggers are assoicated with the worst withdrawals. The morning cigarette after a night without our drug. The cigarette after an hour long meal without our drug. The cigarette after a two hour movie without our drug. The cigarette after a three hour meeting without our drug.
Think about it:
The only reason we smoke is to stop the craving brought on by smoking the previous cigarette.
Crazy, huh? And, we are supposed to feel bad about "giving that up"?
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Giulia Permalink Reply by Giulia on October 17, 2008 at 5:20pm
Great response HWC!
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hwc Permalink Reply by hwc on October 17, 2008 at 9:23pm
Just preachin' the gospel according to Joel Spitzer and Alan Carr.
When you really break it down into exactly what smoking does for you, it's almost impossible to keep smoking. What do I have to do to quit? Put up with a temporary withdrawal that may not even be that bad now that I understand the trap I'm walking away from? OK. I can put up with that. It's worth it. Bring it on.
I spend most of my quit mouthin' off at the craves. "Is that all you got? You're gonna have to bring it better than that, because I ain't smokin." Throw in a broken salad spinner and a few apologies to my wife (hey, nobody's perfect!) and that was that.
Kerry Permalink Reply by Kerry on December 6, 2008 at 7:11pm
I feel the same way. Keep trying!
Work the EX plan @ BecomeAnEX.org. They walk you through every step of the way! I smoked for 30+ years, this is only the 2nd time I've ever even tried to quit.....that was 39 days ago!! I'm taking Chantix, it's really worked for me. This community has been the BIGGEST part of my success! The people I've met here, total strangers mind you, stepped right up to help me! Their strength, suggestions, kicks in the butt, when needed is just what "I" needed.
You've come to the right place Debbie. No one can tell you what to do but they can tell you how it was for them when they went through it! It helps knowing you're not alone, we're all in this TOGETHER!