Everyday I tell somebody close to me "I want a smoke." I usually get silence now. I used to hear "no, you've quit for a week already, etc." I really want a smoke, although I don't really crave it. Today is the beginning of week four for me. I started quitting with a transdermal system and it is working a lot better for me than lozenges did. I've never gone this far and I actually feel like I'm cheating somehow. Still, it has been difficult to feel normal. Especially around people I know who smoke in everyday situations. In the first week it was so bad I pretty much stayed away from those people because I felt like I could start again. Now I can go out to the bar, have a couple drinks, and be around smokers without thinking that. There's still situations that freak me out and I wished I had that safety net. I had to go to a funeral yesterday for someone I didn't know at all, but knew his young adult daughters. I felt incredibly awkward and found myself blabbering about absolutely nothing interesting to their stepdad. I mean, ridiculous and probably nonsense to him, but he politely listened. Maybe he was just glad to have a distraction too. It was really weird for me. Tell you about wanting a smoke.