A little about my story

Discussion created by john-ryan on Nov 22, 2008
Latest reply on Nov 22, 2008 by john-ryan
I've never been much for discussion boards (or look for help for that matter,) so bear with me.

I started smoking when I was fourteen. I started by stealing some out of my sister's packs. I went through some terrible depression as a teenager, as many do it seems these days. I think during that time I really incorporated smoking into who I am, seeing as how every time something bad happened, I would light up. I also enjoyed hiding it from everyone. I think that increased it's appeal back then. Tell a kid you can't do something, what happens? They want to do it more.

Anyway, I'm twenty one now, and I am still smoking. It seems I can hardly make it through a day without one. It's not even so much for the withdrawals, at least not the physical ones. I just feel uncomfortable and awkward if I can't have one. Last night I went out to dinner with my mother, and the usual routine for whenever we go out is that whenever she is at the cash register waiting to pay, that's my chance to go smoke. I realized I had left my cigarettes at home. It hadn't been too long since my last cigarette but all of a sudden I felt a wave of tension and discomfort because I couldn't have a cigarette if I wanted to.

I want to quit, it's just always the thought of "I can't" have a cigarette that makes me feel the need to have one even more. Any ideas for me? I appreciate any help you guys could offer.