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Discuss different approaches to quitting, including medication

amalita
Member

My 10th Day

It is my 10th day as a non smoker. This morning, a fiend smoker came over. She knows I quit smoking. I don't know how that happened but I told her " Could I have a cigarette?" She answered " I am not sure I should give you one. Should I?" I immediately replied "No, you should not" and talked about something else. I felt terrible afterwards. What would have happened if she had given me one? I would have thrown out 9 and a half days of hard work. Please help me figure out what happened at that moment. I guess I am not out of the woods yet... Thank you!

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6 Replies
Sylvia_Deitz
Member

You're right, Amalita, you're not out of the woods yet! I really can't say when that point happens, but at this early point in your quit, you need to stay away from other smokers. If that's not possible, then at least ask them not to smoke around you. Just tell them how important it is to you...that it's a life and death matter. Thank God you were strong enough to refuse the cigarette! Those friends are really big time triggers. Oh, I just reread what you wrote and see that you asked for the cigarette, but would you have asked if she hadn't lit up in front of you? I wasn't clear if she actually lit up or if you just asked for one as soon as she walked in the door.
I have to tell you about shortly before I quit. My friend had been quit for 5 years, so I had no qualms about smoking in front of her. Well, one day she asked me for one. I tried to argue her out of it, but she was really adamant about it, so I gave her one. She's been smoking ever since which is about 8 months now. Believe me, I felt terrible and that was one of the reasons I quit, but long story short...I can't stand to be around her even outside, because the smoke makes it hard to breath and my lungs hurt for at least a day. Just try to stay away from smokers as long as you can. Even if it smells horrible, there's still a little part of you that wants to smoke with them.
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nicole8
Member

Hey girl,
Those moments will happen for a long time...I don't know if there really is a point where you are guarenteed safe. Afterall their are many people who quit for years and then start back up. And the situation like you had today is usually how someone relapses. They may wonder what it would taste or feel like now, or think they'll have 1 just to prove they conquered their addiction. Their's always some stupid reason we keep in brains for why it would be ok for just 1, but NO! It's not ok. To be successful you can NEVER have another drag. One leads to another and another and before you know it your smoking again and facing the dreaded quit all over again.

It's good your friend hesitated on giving you that smoke. Some friends hate being the only stinky one left and are quick to offer you that smoke so they aren't alone. Would you have smoked one if she said yes? Everytime before knowing their is the possibility that you could be around a smoker or cigarettes recommit to yourself that you will not smoke today. That is helping for me. It will help you be more prepared for those moments that catch you off guard.

❤️
Nicole
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sandi8
Member

Oh i have in 36 or so days and i still have craves i had a big fit yesterday. i made it through and you can to just say i am a non-smoker come on here ask for help cry scream just no smoking
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peter-s.
Member

Hi Amalita, That reminds me ... I was well into my quit and visiting a smoker friend when I suddenly asked for
a cigarette. Luckily, he didn't give me one and I came to my senses a moment later. I had forgotten that I was
an ex. The sense of smell is the strongest for memory. Even now, when I am around smoke in the evening I
sometimes dream about smoking when asleep that night. It's a relief to wake up and realize that I haven't fallen down and ruined my quit. Early on, quitting is a fragile balance. Use every trick in the book. And :
Never Ever A Single Puff !
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amalita
Member

Thank you Sylvia, Sandi, Nicole and Peter. Thank you for sharing your experience and precious tips. This board is fantastic!
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kimmie2
Member

I think it takes a while to be out of the woods. I have close to 2 months under my belt now and I still have some cravings. My husband and some friends smoke. I have managed to avoid a lot of them but I was standing outside the other evening with my hubby and a friend and I was drinking a glass of wine, they were smoking. I had to go in the house and do something else becuase at that moment just standing next to them was too much. I felt weak for a moment becuase I thought I should be past this by now. I realized that I'm not really weak, if I was I would have stayed outside and smoked. I refuse to smoke. Don't get discouraged. Each and every day gets easier. I used to think about smoking non stop all day. Now, if the thought crosses my mind I get excited because it's rare. Good luck, hang in there. You can do it. If I can do it, anyone can do it.
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