It's been 58 hours and still going strong. Just want to drop out a small prayer of joy and thanks: God, just want to write you today and say thank you so much for being there for me over the last two days and for being there for me today. You have given me my daily bread in more ways than I can count. Lord, it is only through you and by you that this is all possible. You are my strength and my foundation. Lord Jesus, two days ago I took up my cross and today still follow you. Your example is my light and your words my strength. Please continue to walk with me and may your name be blessed and praised for your love for us. Amen
Today marks one full week smoke free! I want to thank the Lord not only for the strength, guidance, and support He has provided, but also for being with my family during this process.
I want to give God all the credit for my quit. I know without Him I wouldn't be getting through it the way I am now. I prayed awhile back that he would point out to me things in my life I needed to fix and give me the strength to fix them, and He did. It's been a rollercoaster ride of learning and growing ever since. Apparently there was a lot that needed work, stuff i didn't even realize I had a problem with until He brought situations in my life to show me that brought me to tears of shame and enlightenment. One of these things was something I already assumed He would mention :) I needed to get the addiction out of my life. I had known this for some time and made tons of false weak attempts (if you can even call them attempts) to no avail. Cigarettes have been the main reason for tons of arguments between my husband and I, and even if the fights were not about smoking, it would come up. I could never say he was doing anything wrong because he always had the, "well you smoke," comeback. I've blown so much money, broken so many promises, occasionally avoided church and involvement in bible studies because i didn't want anyone knowing my dirty little secret, and I mean smoking is 100% selfishness, and isn't that the complete opposite of what the christian walk is all about. Jesus was totally selfless, and when it came to cigarettes, I was totally selfish, not exactly the best way to show my desire to be like the Lord. But hey, I believed the lies instead of beleiving God, and I hope I never do again, it wasn't until I truly asked for His strength that this became what it now is, five smoke free days that were far to peaceful to be considered a "normal" quit. I have no doubt God has had His hand on me all throughout this. Not because I deserve it. I certainly don't. When I found it quite obvious He was demanding that I stop I continued to say to the Almighty God, "Can't you just wait please? One more day. I'm not ready yet." over and over again. Rather than smite me like I surely deserve, He took matters in His own hands and we became more broke than we've ever been. I had no money, not even any change to scrounge up, to buy any. So it was either cry myself to sleep for three days or let Him have His way with me. Thankfully, I chose the latter, otherwise I'd still be in the place I was six days ago; on the patio hating myself as I sucked those dry dirty fumes into my face. So, basically to sum it up, I'm a disobediant sinful brat and yet the Creator of the universe loves me deeply, I treat Him like yesterday's news and yet He doles out some tough love on me because He cares so much about making me the beautiful thing that He knows I'm capable of being. And if that's not enough, even still He doesn't push me into the stormy sea alone, He calms it and carries me through. God is too good for me or anyone else to even be able to express with mere little words, and I am just forever grateful to be an object of His perfect affection.
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Just want to drop out a small prayer of joy and thanks:
God, just want to write you today and say thank you so much for being there for me over the last two days and for being there for me today. You have given me my daily bread in more ways than I can count. Lord, it is only through you and by you that this is all possible. You are my strength and my foundation. Lord Jesus, two days ago I took up my cross and today still follow you. Your example is my light and your words my strength. Please continue to walk with me and may your name be blessed and praised for your love for us.
Amen