Hi all... let me intoduce myself

[denverdeb]

HI ALL! My name is Deb and I live in Colorado. I have been smoking for 17 years - about 3/4 of a pack a day. I am married (hubby is quitting too) and have3 small kids that I want to see get married someday. I also have a 72 y/o dad with emphasema and on oxygen, so I decided it is finally time to break free of this evil addiction. I am on chantix and noticed that it does help incredibly with cravings and also I have cut down to about 7 cigs a day so far which is really encouraging. However, I am terrified of my April 14 quite date because even though I am cutting down, I can still say to myself that I can have one 'later." Once Monday comes, there will be no "later" and I don't know how I will handle it.
I don't know myself as a non-smoker, I don't know who I am . does anyone else struggle with the "never again" concept. I know I should take it one day at a time, but I can't stop thinking about things like, "what will I do camping this summer? " Will I still be freaking out and feeling like crap? Can I ever have a beer again? What about those awesome sunny days where I sit on my porch with a cig? AAARRGGHHH... I hope for my kids sake and my family that I can do this. Glad to be here though, and glad for the support.

[denverdeb]

WILL DO... i say its for my kids because it is. and for me. I want to be here for them. I am going to fight this with all I have. thanks for the comment

[becca5]

I went through the exact same things (I have to say, I love feeling like the experienced quitter for once--I've only got 10 days). I cut down because my daughter and I went on a trip, just the two of us and I barely had any time to smoke. When we got home, she and I took my last two unopened packs and smashed them and threw them out. But I held on to the opened one because I wasn't ready for "never again." But the next day I just knew, and we broke the last few in half and tossed them. I've backslid twice, but I can have one without going back completly, which helps. I can tell myself that if i get through today, i can have one tomorrow.

This is still surreal--a month ago, I didn't think it was possible, and now I'm a non-smoker. It'll happen to you, too.

[denverdeb]

thanks becca... this is now day 3. I know it is getting easier, but my brain is STILL fighting the never again scenario. I still just want ONE in the morning with my coffee... I wonder how long it will take until that goes away!