This is my story

Discussion created by michelle58 on Oct 22, 2008
Latest reply on Oct 29, 2008 by michelle58
I started smoking when I was 11 years old. I only started after my parents got divorced and my mother pissed me off, so I thought "well I'll show her". Guess what it back fired as usual. I accomplished my goal of making her mad, but by the time she found out I had been smoking for about 3 years. Back then you did not have to be 18 to by cigs. As a matter of fact I believe I had just turned 18 when that law went into effect. Any way, I became dependant on my smokes after that. I was always able to quit when I had my children, but I always picked them back up after they were born. I am like some of the others in this group, I was a singer in my early years. I participated in a lot of talent shows and won, and now I only sing in my shower or living room with the stereo loud enough that you can't hear me. I was also an athlete when I was in school, track, cheerleading, and basketball. I am now 31 years old and I am attending college to get a degree in human services and I can not even walk up a flight of stairs to get to my classes. I have to take the elevator if my classes are anywhere other than ground level. The other students look at me as though I must just be lazy. I was always a very trim and fit person who never weighed over 130 pounds, and now I can not exercise at all, my metabolism is gone, and instead of 130 pounds I am at 210 and steadily gaining. My doctors are trying to help me to figure out a way to loose the weight but everything is so expensive. My main reasons to quit was my husband and my son. My husband is the second man that I married and the only man who has never hit me or belittled me. He hates the smell of smoke. He did not tell me i had to quit, he simply said "Maybe if you could quit smoking then we will work together to help with your weight and your breathing". I am now walking around the block with my husband each night. It is a walk that he could do in 2 minutes and it takes me 15 to 20 min, but he just holds my hand and stays by my side the whole way. My son just turned 13 years old, and he has been bugging me for as long as I can remember to quit smoking. On his 13th birthday I quit. It was my birthday present to him. My son is intellectually disabled and he will not be able to live on his own in his lifetime. Unfortunatlly we do not have any family to speak of, so if I were to pass away he would have to be placed in an institution or a home for the mentally challenged. I can not let that happen. So here I am today 12 days with out a smoke, going crazy, and can not get rid of the shakes, but smoke free none the less.