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Give and get support around quitting

edith2
Member

Never Say Never

I started smoking when I was 15. I quit when I was 17 and that lasted for about 6 months. Then I tried again and that lasted 9 months. The next try I lasted 19 months. That was the hardest. I was so mad at myself when I relapsed. It took me less than a day to get back where I was. I smoked for about 30 years after that. I thought of quitting off and on, but I thought I'd never quit again. I didn't want to quit. I protected my addiction. My kids nagged me, I knew about the dangers, yet I still smoked. I felt it was my right. Then I joined a local church. There was only one gal in the congregation who smoked. We used to sneak out the back to have a smoke. I started to wonder if I could ever quit. I had no desire to quit. I started praying for the desire. I started cutting back on my smoking. I didn't even know about this website. Then one day, instead of buying two cartons of cigarettes at a trading post 30 miles away, I drove 5 miles to a local wholesale store and bought a box of lozenges. I had a smoke on the way there. As soon as I bought the lozenges, I wanted a smoke real bad! I opened the box of lozenges and started with one before I left the store. That was July 17, 2004 and I haven't smoked since that day. I didn't think I could get this far, yet I did. You can too. It wasn't will power either. Someone believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.
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edith2
Member

Thank you Jai! I totally understand what you're saying about believing in yourself. And you're right. I guess I believe in myself alot more than I thought I did. I felt the same way you did when I saw others smoking in the beginning. But now, I pretty much ignore it except for the smell. The smell never bothered me before, but it does now. I don't like being around it. When I see others smoking, I don't think I'm better than them, I feel a sense of grattitude that this addiction no longer has control of me.
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