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Give and get support around quitting

christopher3
Member

Here's what I am really stuggling with...

I'm a gay man and for years I have found smokers really sexy. I know it's an odd thing to say (or post). I'm on day 8 of not smoking. I feel like not only am I dealing with the "usual" smoking issues (with coffee, after eating...) but also that I associate being "sexy" with smoking. I've been doing some self-talk saying, "Having cancer isn't sexy." Or "Smelling of smoke isn't sexy." I've even considered looking at smoking-related illnesses to try and convince myself. If anyone else can relate, let me know. Thanks!
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11 Replies
bill16
Member

Christopher, I can relate, but not necessarily as it's sexy. For me it is more about how I look at conversation with someone. I cannot tell you the number of conversations that I've picked up with total strangers just because we were out smoking together. Quietly it's a connector. It is also quietly a killer.

If I can lend an ear, just let me know. Bill
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christopher3
Member

Thanks for your reply, Bill. I am somewhat happy to report that some of my more intense cravings have subsided. I think I am on Day 10. Or 11. I just asked my partner, he says Day 11. Hope to hear from you soon.

Christopher
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direwolf
Member

i can definetly relate, and my boyfriend is the same way... i dont know if its part of the whole bad boy image or what, but theres just something sexy about a guy smoking a cigarette... cool to know that other people feel the same way... day 11 here and hangin in there so keep up the good work... we can do it
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jessica48
Member

I completely understand. I used to associate exhaling the smoke with being sexy. Being able to see where the breath goes afterward. The one things I have to remind myself is that you can follow a breath in smoke, but it may also take your last.
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philm
Member

i went to a bar recently and i could smell who was a smoker and who was not
i was never able to tell the difference before
and now the smokers don't smell so sexy
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katinthehat
Member

I get it. I find women who smoke very sexy. It's the whole bad girl/danger thing. So I didn't quit because, I wanted to look a bit more...dangerous...sexy...bad...whatever. My quit date was yesterday and one of the things that occasioned it was a huge crush on a girl next door choir director who hates somke (that's not the only reason I'm quitting but it's a big plus). So, my advice, is to find people you're attracted to who don't smoke, who are opposed to smoking and focus your energies on those attractions. I hope that helps.
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david-hibling
Member

I understand completely - there is a whole sub culture within gay circles and smoking -one of the things that stopped me quiititng for so long was the fear of weight gain and becoming less "sexy" - with low self confidance anyway - but I simply do not want to end up using an oxygen tank as my Dr has warned me continuing smoking will most likely make that happen!
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jacob5
Member

It is a whole image thing and I get it. I agree with one of the comments below though, oxygen tanks are not sexy, gasping for air isn't sexy, chemo, etc. You may have to really watch videos, read articles and what not to re-learn what cigarettes mean, vs a hot rough guy puffing.
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jason-shipley
Member

Well, i realize i am a year late to reply but i can understand what you are going through. Or i should say went through. I hope you were able to over come it.
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