Thought I'd give a topic, figured it was time. But, this is also about sharing experience, strength, and hope, and I figured this encompasses all three:) For me, it has been affirming my self-worth. Knowing no matter what **** I may be going through, I really don't need to self-sabotage my life by smoking. As romantic and rebellious as I would love to say smoking has been for me, it really has been nothing but proof of how much I still had to work on my self-esteem. But now that I have value in myself, I am finding it a lot easier to stay quit this time.
I guess it would be the fear of ending up like my nanny when she died of emphazema. Actually being able to hear her litterally drowning in the fluid in her lungs.
I just don`t want to die with a smoke in my hand or a bottle of booze in my hand!
So,God help me!
I want to die pulling weeds in my garden..........without an O2 tank next to me.
Brainwash my brain has helped me these past 16 days!!
Following directions helped me to stay focus and remembering my primary purpose for being on this site.
Today, I added another reason what keeps me going forward: I do not want to start over.
I accept I will have a long road of ups and downs. 45 years of destruction is not an overnight repair
I am coming to believe that quitting is doable - I believe in Carr's statement that I can make this journey hard or easy. I am choosing easy by dismissing the old ideas about cigarettes and replacing new information.
I have made a decision to use the strategies of meditating, making a gratitude list, attending nicotine meeting and breathing as my Higher Power for now.
Today, I am so grateful for not feeling that impending doom and the fight or flight sensation when i mingled with the outside world. Grateful for not putting judgement on my surroundings and interactions with people.
12Finally34
Smoking is no longer an option in my life anymore.
Realizing that I've not gone far enough in understanding my tobacco predicament, and looking forward to the day I no longer honor in anyway those smoking days. The only way to LIVE again is to forge ahead. Meanwhile life is happening..he, he.
Awesome question. Enjoying reading the responses.
that's just not part of who I am anymore
Never want to go back to Day 1 NEF !!!
I don't want to end up dying a slow painful death that's most likely caused by smoking and I never want to go back to Day One only Days WON!
Thanks Marilyn,
Sitting here looking at commercial about second hand smoke with my fragile 41 days smoke free.
I feel and think the same way about how I want my finally days without smoke relating conditions.
Each day of not smoking, I am seeing the symptoms that kept me smoking isolation, loneliness and poor self image.
I am concentration on being smoke free and being vigilant about my symptoms for continuing smoking for 45 years.
Do not want to go back to day one..ever. One day a time, I no longer smoke...not part of my life anymore.
~Kathy
Hellya!...that I never want to feel simultaneously enslaved by the feeling of being poisoned. That's how it felt, and I thought that I couldn't help but keep poisoning myself. What I'm experiencing now is freedom, and I am working everyday to savor and preserve it.
The memory of breathing without difficulty...the memory of being able to walk up hills, to run, to do things that required exertion. I know I can't go back there but I CAN slow the progress of the damage I have done to myself.
Not one puff ever ..I always think if I smoke 1 Not only I'm going to feel terrible but also the urge is going to comeback ..I've been clean 83 days I don't want to go back to beginning at this point it's so much easier ..NOPE not one puff ever !!!
NOPE has been my mantra since the beginning as well...it works.
Mine was "No Matter What!"
But had I to do it again - which will never happen I would use this?
"I don't do that any more!"
Simple. I don't do that anymore!