I don't know where to start

Discussion created by leanne-k on May 15, 2008
Latest reply on May 15, 2008 by Giulia
Well, for about a month now I have been visiting this site. The reason I want to quit is simple to me, it is simply I need a change in my life. I'm sure there were other things I could change, but quitting is something I hadn't tried for several years. The other things I had changed in the past years are leaving my husband (I've been back for a year), changed my attitude toward my life (still in that place) and stopped drinking as much (this one will have to completely stop). I don't know what to really say. I am just a housewife and have very few friends that I don't talk to very much because I moved out of that state. I know all this sound stupid.

Well getting to my relapses now. My biggest was about 3 days after I started my quit. See I got into an arguement with my husband because he didn't come home or even call and I know he was not working. The reason I know this is by how much money he takes out of the bank. I have been thru this to many times and this is one reason we spilt the last time. (We have been married almost 20 yrs.) That day it was the only thing on my mind and I started drinking a couple of beers and then lit on up. When he finally can home I had alot to say. Including the fact that I know he is cheating on me and I wished it was another women. I think that if it was another women I might just be willing to fight for him, but with anything else I know I've lost. Over the next few weeks we argued even more. I finally told him to leave my home. He told me it was his, so I said fine and that i hoped he loved living in the dark. See all utilities are in my name, including his cell. Reason for this is that he does not take time to be responsible for any thing.

Then my other big relapse period is just the evenings. I don't know why it just is.

I don't want to make this to long and don't mean to say all this and have anyone think bad of me. But the reason I said what I did is because I have the understanding that I should share because someone else may be dealing with the same situation. If I'm wrong I'm sorry. Thank you, Leanne K