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My quit date is about 3 weeks away. It sounds crazy I'm sure. But the prospect of quitting makes me sad. I feel like I'm about to lose my biggest most reliable friend. The one who has always been there for me no matter what.
A lot of people feel that way. Ask yourself how good of a friend do you have when all they do is take;
Read / Learn as much as you can and ask questions Being prepared makes quitting a little easier
Welcome to our community!
A lot of people here reported feeling grief as they gave up the one thing that was always there for them, whether they were sad, or happy, lonely or celebratory. But - REALLY give this some thought! Would you stay friends with someone who asked for your hard-earned money, to the point where you would rather give it to them than use it for other activities? They gave you a hit of dopamine - yes - but also contributed to hardening of arteries, osteoporosis, COPD, heart attacks, strokes, tooth loss, alienation, loss of time with loved ones. Cigarettes are NOT your friend. You CAN learn to deal with your emotions and what life throws at your without them ----- and you will be FAR better off in the long run. You CAN learn to live very happily without them. Read the stories of the successful folks here and you will see!
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” You can search for it online or at your local library. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
Let me know if you decide to use a quit aid and I will give you my thoughts on them.
It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! . Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit “Games”: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/games. The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the homepage. Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy
JuliePatricia Nope it doesn’t sound crazy...our addiction is a very toxic relationship...and it is good to write a “goodbye letter”... we really aren’t losing anything, but in the beginning we do feel like we are losing ourselves by quitting smoking. Before you quit in 3 weeks, start to plan for your quit day by reading at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX Also, read posts here and respond by becoming familiar with addiction and quitting. We are here to help...it isn’t an easy road, but it is doable...I quit 2 years after 30 plus years of smoking...by planning, becoming knowledgable in addiction and the support of Ex’s...keep close to us...Colleen 747 DOF
Sounds normal to those of us who are addicted to nicotine. There are so many blogs here that you can read, please take Youngatheart.7.4.12's advice and do the reading she suggested. You have three weeks to make a plan and to educate yourself about this addiction and the power it has over you. Friends don't slowly kill you while you are counting on them...I quit many times before this time and I have over 6 1/2 years now...almost 7 because of this site and the support I got here. It was absolutely a lifesaver for me.
Welcome to EX,
Ellen
The negatives far outweigh the positives.
Take a moment to read Cousin-Itt blog post which appears right above yours talking about "bad" relationships (Would You Stay). Please don't be sad about leaving this horrible addiction behind. You CAN do this....we all did and we are no different from you. It is one of the best feelings in the world to be free from the pull of smoking. I want you to experience that so STAY STRONG!
Welcome to the Ex. Congrats on your decision to quit. It's understandable that we see quitting as losing our best friend. Every activity and emotion is associated with smoking. Try focusing on what you're gaining instead of what you're losing. Educate yourself about nicotine addiction and create a quit plan. These two steps will make quitting possible for you. It takes work, but the quitters on this site are proof that it can be done. We're here to support you, so just reach out anytime. Looking forward to celebrating with you in 3 weeks.
It's the best decision you can make for yourself.
Barb
Many, many, many have successfully quit smoking no matter how sad or upset. I'm one of them. That was over 7 years ago. I can't tell you how glad I am that I did not give my feelings full reign over my quit. You can do this--one day at a time. And welcome to Ex!
The willpower paradox: Using the right skills at the right time.
One of the greatest tools you can use
https://quittinthesmokes.blogspot.com/ my own story--google blog since 2014
You are not alone in that feeling. A good article on that very topic: My Cigarette, My Friend by Joel Spitzer
You can put "best friend" in the search box upper right and you'll be amazed at how many blogs there are on the topic. But It's Gonna Be Okay. If we can do it, YOU can do it.
I totally understand what you are feeling. Today is day 1 for me after having 50 days...and thinking I could have one. I feel the same way too. But we have to remember it is the addiction talking...its not real. We will push through together. It is doable, and you learn to live without them. It is a process....We can do this!
Commmmmooooooon !
IT IS NOT FRIEND...IT'S ENEMY ...
You will realise this after few days of quit !
Join the DOF journey, we are counting, and with you to give you morale support !
All the best !
Nope, not crazy at all. I remember crying while having my last cigarette, because I felt the same way. I was a smoker, it's who I was. But turns out I'm the same person still...I just don't smoke anymore. Just like I don't run around in skimpy clothes like I did when I was younger 
, now I don't smoke like I used to. You can change as a person, and quitting smoking will be a good change! Keep close and reach out for support as you work through your quit!
I felt like that. And I find it very sad that you do too. That “friend” took everything I had and wanted more. Made me stink. Stole my money. Looking back now, it was clearly an abusive, one-sided relationship from the start. And I was severely co-dependent in addition to suffering from the disease of addiction (now more affectionately called “substance use disorder”. Once I got a little ways away from it I started being able to see it for what it was. I was dually addicted to alcohol as well so I had to deal with that first, as alcohol kept leading me back to that FIRST puff. I finally had my last drop of alcohol on 11/21/1998. After much struggle, and many failed attempts, I had my last PUFF of 2/28/2001. Just in time. My “friend” gave me a parting gift of severe emphysema. What a friend! I no longer miss him. He tried to kill me so many times. I healed from him, alcohol, tobacco, and co-dependency. I have a great life now and I don’t miss him a bit. In fact, I can hardly believe that I ever let him live in the same house with me. My suggestion? Kim that ‘friend” to the curb and find some real friends who aren’t actively trying to kill you. All the rest of us here are over 21 and can buy and smoke sickarettes anytime we want to. But we have found better and are doing better. Join us. You can always go back to smoking if you don’t find not smoking to be better. But give it a REAL chance. Not just a couple of days or weeks. Maybe a year or two. At least then you will know what its like to live with that “friend” and without. Early in my quit I wondered if I would go back if I knew an asteroid would destroy the planet in a few days. I know now, the answer is NO WAY!
It doesn’t sound crazy at all. Perfectly normal.