DISAPPOINTMENT

[Suzinut]

First, thank you all who have been asking for me and checking in on me.  I will be honest and admit I have been smoking like 5 cigarettes a day.  I have been taking them from my boyfriend.  This has been going on for 5 days.  I finally came clean with my daughter who is my reason to quit.  She is 15 and actually started to cry.  Talk about feeling the lowest a person can ever feel.  I feel like a big piece of crap.  But here I am starting again.  I promised her and I cannot go back on a promise I make to my daughter.  I can give a slew of excuses why I smoked but why bother.  There is never a good reason to light up.  NEVER.  So I start again, today, as day 1.  Had almost 50 days and threw it all away.  So totally disgusted with myself...I am very sad, anxious and stressed for many reasons, but no reason to smoke.  It wont make things better.  So hello again everyone....My name is Susan....please to meet you.....

[indingrl]

CONGRATS Susan on DAY ONE - Yahoooooooooo - WAY TO GO

[maryfreecig]

Hi Susan, I'm so glad that you are not letting bad feelings get in the way of quitting. Happy day one. It must have been so hard to tell your daughter, but you did. Yes you can get smober one day at a time.

[YoungAtHeart]

AHEM!

You need to quit for YOU!  It is honorable of you to want to quit for your daughter, but the only person who you need to remain accountable to is YOU!  You can hide from your daughter, you can come up with any excuse in the book to smoke if you are accountable to her......but it's much more difficult to hide from yourself.

I am SO glad you are right back at this!  Promise yourself you will blog "HELP" here if the going gets tough, and wait for us to talk you down off the ledge.  I'd also ask your boyfriend to keep his smokes hidden so they aren't so tempting in a weak moment!

Let's get it done THIS time.  Let us know how we might help!

Nancy

[marciem]

Hey there Suzinut‌ !!  I'm so glad you are getting back at it so quickly.  It will never get any easier than it is right now.

I echo YoungAtHeart‌ Nancy on "quit for YOU", for lots of reasons I won't go into  (teenage girl ... nuff said) .  You are the one you're responsible to and doing it for.  Everything and everyone else is icing on the sweet cake of freedom.   I also like her thought that you request your boyfriend keep his smoking and smoking materials out of sight-out of mind.

A suggestion... each morning make it your mission to pledge on the pledge thread... a promise to yourself and out-in-the-open promise to the 'family' here, that just for today you won't smoke.  That clears the table of any options to light up so you don't have to argue yourself out of it when stress becomes difficult. NOVEMBER DAILY PLEDGE 2020   .  There is a new one posted each month.  Hang on and don't break the pledge train!   .

Keep at it.   You had a lovely trial practice run of 50 days, so now you're ready for the real thing!!  You will never regret it  .

[LeftysLady]

Susan, the advice given to you by marciem‌ and Nancy YoungAtHeart‌ is the truest their is you must quit for you.  If it isn't for you, you will be back at day one the day your daughter leaves home for college, if not sooner.

We are addicts, we have to admit to ourselves that we are worth taking care of, I believe it you read the following from top to bottom and bottom to top it may help you understand. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/28930-reverse-thinking  it helped me a couple of times.

My prayers are with you.

Pam

54 Days of Freedom.

[sweetplt]

Suzinut Hi Susan, I am so glad you are back in this journey...don’t beat yourself up hon...just do the work again and quit...Try to figure out what you will do differently this time if you are in the same situation and want to smoke.  I hope your boyfriend doesn’t smoke anywhere around you.  If he does smoke around you, ask him not too.  (It’s ok until you feel more comfortable in your quit) Also, try and remember everything from Day 1 and week 1...remind yourself you never want to do that again...I am concerned when you wrote you are quitting for your daughter.  You can only quit for one reason and that is for YOU...YOU deserve this quit and better health...just know we are here for you Susan...Gotcha in my thoughts ~ Colleen 

[Barbscloud]

So glad to hear from you--I was getting worried.   Don't look back; it does no good.   Most of us have had multiple attempts to quit--it's part of the process.   As long as you learn something to help in your success, use that experience as you move forward.    

Take care and reach out when you need support.

Barb

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Please take what you can use and leave the rest.  I believe in speaking truth to power. I am sorry that you have to start over.  I wish the roller coaster ride you were taking was about staying quit and not starting over. You can do one on the other.  Go through the pain of not smoking to get to forever freedom or make EXcuses and smoke. . 50 days is huge, you can  do it again but do it differently by buckling down instead of smoking and use the option to educate yourself.  Knowledge is power.  .Do some research about nicotine addiction. /blogs/JACKIE1-25-15-blog/2019/02/01/know-the-law?sr=search&searchId=4bcc5b1e-4dd2-4e7f-b5ea-b74c309... There are quite a few blogs about living with a smoker or a partner who smokes.  I had a neighbor that I could always get one from.  Until I said enough was enough and made the commitment that no matter what, who, when, where, how, I would not TOUCH a cigarette. Not on my lips! PERIOD.  .The magnifying glass top right  Keyword "living with a smoker",  "boyfriend/girlfriend smokes. etc.  I have one booked mark that I will pull up for you.

It is lovely that you want to honor your daughter with your quit.  You have to first honor your quit to you.  Come here read study blog before you smoke.  Education is the key to a successful quit.  You can not get around education. It is like trying to learn something without studying. On the fly so to speak. . https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2017/02/27/a-recipe-for-a-forever-quit?sr=...‌  Have a good day WON> the journey continues. Quitting is not easy but doable Staying quit takes EXtra work. Be willing to do the work

[Christine13]

Many congratulations on day 1 Susan!!  You can do this for you and for your daughter.  I wish you all the best!!