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Give and get support around quitting

redpepper
Member

ugh

This is definitely depression trying to get in. I'm all too familiar, unfortunately. 

Cloudy, cold, rainy. 

I bought a paint set the first week of my quit. Maybe I will open it up. Also, I have work to do. Maybe I can get out of procrastination mode. Maybe I should go over to Mom's (just across the street now). Maybe I will read the novel that's on my nightstand... 

Incredibly, intolerably emotional with a swirling washing machine tumble brain. Everything feels wrong. Everything hurts (emotionalism). Way, way, way embarrassingly overly sensitive. Ugh. I do not like this. I came so, so, so, so close to buying smokes last night. To quell, I sat down with a pile of food and a documentary and just dug in to both. It passed, like ya'll have promised. But it looms. The cloud. It looms. ...Can I tolerate this life without my buddy? Will I get better? Ya'll say and show me: Yes! Yes! Yes!   

Seems like all I'm doing is trying to get past hours without cigarettes. I feel so selfish, self absorbed, self, self, self...Lazy, worthless, etc. Ugh. I can't live just counting the hours. Please tell me (I know it will) that this will stop. That I will feel like a good, productive world citizen once again someday. 

I will call a friend and ask about her, her life, her day, her well being. Will not talk about me.  

Thanks, yall. Gonna heat up some boiled cabbage I made. Then call her. Yum. 

18 Replies
Barbscloud
Member

Let's get moving right now.   Go for a walk, call the friend, stay on the Ex. etc.     Remember, if you get past this, you're on the road to success.  This isn't easy, but you're strong and can do this.

Barb

Thesegoto11
Member

Sorry to hear the pain you're going through.  But, these things will pass.  Don't forget:

 - There are more former smokers in the US today than smokers.  Think about that.  More people used to smoke than smoke now.  If they did it, why not you?

 - If you relapse now, you're just going to start over and go through all of this again. Is that really what you want to do?

 - Think of your Quit as money in the bank earning interest.  If you relapse now, you just throw it all away.

 - Physical activity always concentrates the mind.

 - One way to overcome procrastination is to break down a task into baby steps.  Just get started doing one or two simple things.

Hope some of this helps.

indingrl
Member

Thanks for sharing YOUR courage and SELF honesty - I appreciate YOU - just sharing -  I was taught to bite into a lemon peel and all - it brings ME back into MY moment of MY day and I just breath and pray - then I come here and blog BEFORE I take that first puff over ME - sometimes I just VENT - sometimes I just WHINE AND COMPLAIN - sometimes I share MY emotional IMMATURITY about NOT getting MY OWN way - I say OUT loud - I dont smoke anymore - I tell MYSELF smoking is not an option - I pray and ask for HELP - I am glad YOU chose NOT to SUCK ON DEATH - I am thankful to MY Daddy God for YOU and YOUR HELP for ME to remain a n.o.p.e. family member with YOU

sweetplt
Member

redpepper More than likely, if you were still smoking, you would feel much the same...because of the dark, cloudy and rainy day...so like Barb said, “get moving...”... and know tomorrow will be better...Tell Nico...”You Don’t need him”...and yes one day you will be productive again...sometimes now I don’t know where my days go...for now...”Don’t smoke”...

Gotcha in my Thoughts ~ Colleen 720 DOF 

Cousin-Itt
Member

  You have the right idea of staying busy.    Walk every chance you have.  Open the paint set up   Keeping your mind and body busy you won't miss your buddy.  Before you know it  you will be calling your buddy by a whole different  name.

Stay Strong  each day you are gaining more freedom

Strudel
Member

So sorry you are having this tough time. But, you are right - it will get better. Up, down, and all around - but it will get better! Anything you do to not smoke - is the right thing to do. Whatever works for you.....(I love the idea of calling your friend!) I had to keep reminding myself that after smoking for so very many years it was going to take some time for my body to heal. If I felt lazy - that was okay. I humored myself! I remember. There was a person here at the time who wrote - “Just don’t smoke...” At first I thought that was the dumbest thing I ever heard!! JUST don’t smoke? But then, with some thought, I realized he was right - it was that simple. Do anything - just don’t smoke. No options - once my brain accepted that, it really helped. 
Congrats to you on continuing yo know how to protect your quit! 

elvan
Member

It WILL pass & things are so chaotic right now, l don’t usually procrastinate but, like you, my mind does not want to settle on one thing. Early in my quit l could not think about anything other than smoking or rather NOT smoking. My husband is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for 36 years. I asked him what to do & he told me to get on my knees & pray for God to remove the mental obsession. He said it might not work the first time but to try again & ALWAYS make it on my knees. I wasn’t very confident but l WAS desperate. It WORKED, seriously, something lifted. You are not alone.

Ellen

CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

I'm glad you keep coming to check in!

Mark
EX Community Manager

EX Community Admin Team
Giulia
Member

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/positive-affirmations-and-support/blog/2017/10/24/its-gonn...   There is no such thing as lazy when you're in the early stages of the quitting process.  It takes a LOT of mental energy.  And there's nothing wrong with self-absorption during that part of the journey either.  You have to make an psychological and emotional shift and that takes introspective work.

You like cabbage.... here's a GREAT recipe:

RED CABBAGE BRUXELLOISE

1 med size red cabbage

3 whole cloves
3 apples cored

1 Teasp Salt
4 TBSP + 1 teasp butter

1/4 Teasp Pepper
1 bay leaf

4 Juniper berries (optional)
3 TBSP brown sugar 
Onion - optional

1/4 cup red wine, apple or orange juice

Clean & shred cabbage. Cut unpeeled apple into thin slices. Melt 4 TBSP of butter in a large sauce pan. Add apples & stir for a few min. Add cabbage & stir to mix w/apples. Add the rest of the ingredients. Mix well and simmer for 1 hour. Most of the liquid should evaporate. If too much is left, uncover and boil fast.

(I use less butter and less brown sugar and no juniper berries.  And I use orange juice.   It's unbelievably good.  Try it!)