Here is a funny make-believe conversation between Martha Stewart and the beloved comic character Maxine, to brighten up your day:
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Here's one for KellanC74 :
MARTHA : Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice-cream cone to prevent ice-cream drips.
MAXINE : Just suck the ice-cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!
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MARTHA : To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
MAXINE : Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
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MARTHA : When a cake reciepe calls for flouring the pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any mess on the outside of the white cake.
MAXINE: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you!
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MARTHA : If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".
MAXINE : If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: " I made it, you will eat it, and I don't care how bad it tastes".
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MARTHA: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting it in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
MAXINE : Celery? Never heard of it...
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MARTHA: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
MAXINE : The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.
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MARTHA: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
MAXINE : Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!
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MARTHA : If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
MAXINE : Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
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MARTHA : Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
MAXINE : Left over wine ?????? HELLO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The tips from Martha on potatoes, celery, and opening jars were new ones to me that I will definitely try!!
As for Maxine, she's a favorite of mine and I got a big kick out of her responses to Martha's "perfect life" suggestions~
ONE LAST WORD FROM MAXINE :
I know...makes me want to buy some just to see if it does keep that stuff fresh. I seldom buy it as I live alone and there's just so much of it to try and use up before it gets all whimpy!! 
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you LeftysLady.. Day 3 is the pits in the stages of a quit...glad you enoyed Martha vs. Maxine and a sincere congratulations on your quit progress- you are doing great!
