Community
I slipped today and need to get back on track!! I am so mad at myself, I was doing so good. I had 16 DOF in and I was weak. Over the weekend that's all I could think about was smoking. I kept pushing through, staying busy, then today I stopped and bought a pack and a polar pop. (They use to go hand in hand for me) I AM SO MAD!!!! UGH I STINK. Literally!!! I taste it. I smell like it. My car smells like it again. UGH UGH UGH
Jen_819 ... First of all, good for you for fessing up and getting right back to it ... that is soooo important!
second... you didn't slip, you relapsed. You smoked. A slip is an accident, and this was no accident. You thought about it, you planned it (trip to store) and you did it. The words we use affect our thinking, and the word "slip" #1 trivializes a HUGE event in a quitter's life and #2 takes away some of our accountability by making it 'almost an accident'.
I can't emphasize enough for you to remember and etch into your brain how really truly crappy you feel about this whole episode, the self-anger, the smell, everything. Why? so that you won't be willing to go through it again when something happens that makes you feel you HAVE to smoke. As it will. That's part of the course of quitting. But every time you get through one of those episodes without smoking, your quit becomes stronger and those urges will become weaker.
Get right back to it, you had a great trial run now lets do the real thing!!
Best to you. (I hope I didn't come off harsh or mean, it isn't intentional if so. I'm just trying to be realistic and I do care that you become a comfortable nonsmoker!)
I needed this! Thank you! You are right, I have to be accountable for my actions. No one made me do it. I had it planned to leave for work early, stop to Circle K for a pop and smoke ugh. Totally my fault!!!
Jen,
I can't really add any words of wisdom like the responses above since I am only a newbie as well. However, you were doing it, and you can do it again. This time you will not have to go through the tougher withdrawal symptoms since you've already done this. Thinking and praying for you.
You did surprise me, but I totally understand. I'm glad you came here to admit your mistake and have the courage to begin again. Don't be mad at yourself--it serves no purpose. Turn it into your final quit. Many of us have multiple attempts before we finally got it--it's not easy.. Learn from your mistake and move forward with a new found confidence. And never forget, reach out before you smoke and give us a chance to help get you through a weak moment. I know it saved me several times early in my quit.
Hugs
Barb
Oh, Jen, I'm so sorry. I've done the same thing many times and, even though I told myself I wouldn't go back to smoking (and stinking and coughing and buying another pack and being frustrated and disappointed with myself for giving my quit away and....), every time I ended up doing just that. And I'd smoke for a year or more before I felt ready to "try" again. Did you smoke just one? Get rid of those cigs you have left, destroy them so you won't be tempted to reclaim them and light up. This is a deeply-rooted addiction that we are fighting; it may really be for you a matter of life and (eventual) death. Be smarter than I was after all those times I "slipped." I know you want this...I've been following your wonderful progress. Make this a learning experience toward your health and freedom. I say this as one who has been in your shoes. Thanks for your honesty, Jen. You can do this!
Dave
Dave, happened to notice that you have a 2yr anniversary tomorrow. My sincere congratulations.
Thanks. Saturday the 12th! Hard to believe!
Thanks for the encouragement Dave! I am getting back on board this "crazy train". I want to live a lot longer!
Jen
Not to worry
Owning up to you mistake and taking responsibility for the relapse shows the strength and character you have. Starting over right away shows you commitment to quitting. You'll get it this time
I second what has already been said. If a banana peel or spot of ice in your path was not involved, it was NOT a slip. It was a series of bad decisions! At any point you could have stopped yourself from going on to the next one.
SO - plan NOW what you will do if you find yourself starting in on those bad thoughts/actions again. Will you write a blog entitled, "HELP?" Will you call a friend, or go for a walk, or find an exercise video on YouTube to do, or have a friend ride in the car with you (and you can take them back to theirs later when you are re-committed).
This IS a matter of life or breath!
Glad you are back at it! Let us help you make this your final Day One!
Nancy
One thing I know I will change is not stopping to a carry out alone to "just get a pop". That is a weakness and I know I can't handle it yet, kind of like having a beer, I know I can't do that yet. So no more stopping!
Oh no Jen_819, I'm sorry that happened, but glad you owned up to your mistake. I did the same thing just a few days into my quit. And I felt so crappy about myself, that I used that as motivation the next time I thought of having one. Plus the smell and taste was awful. Pick yourself up and keep going, don't use this as an excuse to start smoking again. One bad decision isn't the end of it. Hugs.
Hugs back, thank you!
I can't really add anything that has not already been said I'm so glad that you fessed up now please take as many deep breaths as you need to and start your day ONE so you can turn it into Day WON! We're all here for you rooting you on You've got this believe it!
Hey Jen Jen_819 it happens and happened to many of us in one of our quits...write down how you felt with going back and smoking...keep that close...and the good part, you can work the program again and start over...we are all here for you...and next time, come to us first, before you buy that pack...give us a chance to try and talk you out of smoking...Donot beat yourself up...you are human, you are an addict...it happened...learn from it and move forward hon... Colleen
Totally my fault!!!
I couldnt help but notice those words.
My opinion is this ...
It won't make you feel better to blame yourself . Addiction if anything is at fault . You've done well , you’ve gained a valuable tool now feel good about that .... we are all human , pick yourself up , trust we are here for you and with you and let's just keep going ok . It's just a bump in the road Jen , we've all had them .
I am on my phone which is annoying so not sure if you touched base to let us know your plans but I’ll check in tomorrow . Hope you will be on . You are a valued member of the community and have so much to offer us all .
Thank you! Those are very encouraging words! I am here and plan to continue my journey with you all!
Really glad that you are getting right back to your quit. I lost many quits before I got to my "forever quit" and I had all kinds of incentive...I nearly died with pneumonia and an exacerbation of COPD. I am now on oxygen at night..I am short of breath with little exertion. I HATED smoking, hated the smell, the taste, the time I knew it was stealing from me and my family! I am so glad to be free of nicotine. I know you can do this, you WERE doing it. Don't beat yourself up!
Welcome back,
Ellen
Jen- don't ride the guilt train. It will only stress out and put the thought of the cigarettes in your subconscious so that it can cause you another lap around the track when you least expect it. What over the weekend triggered your thoughts of smoking. Was it a situation or something else. Try to think back to the trigger. Would a smoke really have helped you at that time or just added to the situation. I have learned through life if you don't look at the why something happens, you will not be able to stop it(if it is in your power to do so) or know when it is time to seek help(when you don't have the power).
You are blessed in stepping up and taking responsibility; because you are being honest with yourself. You are blessed with a place to come to when things get tuff. We are all blessed by you reminding us the little monster is always waiting for an opening to get us to light up again.
Buy the rocket pop in large box from the supermarket and keep them at home. Leave Circl-k for fuel only. We have to change our habits to strengthen the chain we are building in our smoke free lives.
Awe thank you for sharing and you are NOT alone - I SUCKED ON DEATH STICKS again - it was one of MY stopping smoking adventures - please I am talking about ME - NOT anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - thank you - well I thought to MYSELF - I don't want them to have the same quit date as ME - so just cuz this other person had the same quit day as ME and I didn't LIKE THEM - I SUCK ON DEATH STICKS because of MY PRIDE - I just used them as MY excuse because I wanted to use MY DRUG NICOTINE to SUCK ON DEATH - lesson learned and I had to admit I was a NICOTINE ADDICT to MYSELF and no one else - I had to stop SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS to cope with ME and that MY dear is blogged in MY blogs - YOU WILL DO IT - YOUR days of nicotine freedom are all YOUR OWN personal CHOICE - you have experience now - YOUR OWN 16 DOF 
WAY TO GO
Jen, I have relapsed many times. I'm glad you are back on the horse that bucked you. Me too.
Good to know that you know what is madness !
You realised it. Please remember, unless "oneself" realise, quitting is half done.
Once "oneself" really understood the importance of quit, believe in yourself.
You can do it.
You will be able to quit again. for sure.
All the best !
Click on the link below:
10 Ways to Overcome Cigarette Cravings in 5
The most terrible thing about slipping is that you literally have to start “all over again”... there are no merits for time served smoke free...
If you don’t buy, beg or borrow a butt, you can’t light it up! Nicotine is a very addictive drug!
I believe it is Allen Carr "(The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" author) that says we are pretty much home free at 21 days... have you read his book? It helped many people to quit! He allows you to smoke when you start reading...
Jen,
I understand your frustration. I have been there many of times. Use your frustration to help move forward in your quit. Don't let hinder you. We all make mistakes. I am glad you are taking accountability, don't blame yourself. Two different things. I admire your willingness to share about your mistake. This community is here for you. You got this!!!
Mary
I believe I read you bought a pack.
You can't do that
You can't do that
No bumming from a long lost friend
You can't do that
You can't do that
And if you see one on the ground
You can't do that
You can't do that
You can be free to smile not frown
You CAN do that
You CAN do that
Throw away the unsmoked butts
You CAN do that
You CAN do that
Cigarettes you cannot trust
They'll knock you flat
They'll knock you flat
Keep them away from your face you must
You CAN do that
You CAN do that
Come here often and talk to us
You CAN do that
You CAN do that!
I guess the comment I just posted is being moderated.
THANKS A BUNCH.
NOTHING IN THE COMMENT REQUIRED MODERATION.
Lesson learned. Each lesson brings us closer to a permanent successful quit. You might want to spend some time reading the blogs in the Relapse Prevention group. There are many helpful ideas that can help prevent relapse. Like Replay the Relapse Keep aiming for your freedom.
Grab onto one day at a time--one step, then the next. Smobriety is what you are aiming for. But first and foremost is behavior modification--going against the addiction. At first the smoking life seems too difficult to leave for good, therefore one day at a time works to ease the worry about tomorrow, next week, a month from now. We all wanted to get over smoking really fast--but ending addiction demands relearning life. Good news, once you do that (one day at a time) you won't have to keep investing most (if not all) of your mind in quitting.
Give yourself time to fulfill your desire to quit.
Yes you can.
Tomorrow is a brand new day! Stay strong, lean on this awesome group to help you along. It really helps!
pmt 207 DOF
Think about what made you stop to buy them. Myself...I used to be 'romancing the smoke' days before I would go buy them.
The moment you begin to imagine breaking your quit is when that 'romance' begins . Just be more aware this time. Recognize the 'signs'. I have faith on you
Me to the T! I thought about exactly what I was going to do!
Hello Jen
I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing with the number two
I’m on day number four and I feel good about it I feel really good about it a little worried about tomorrow because it’s the weekend but I’m not gonna worry about that tonight I’m just going to read everybody’s comments and remind myself why I’m quitting and not what I’m losing best of luck to you
It’s nice to have somebody who still in the early part of quitting To talk to you
It’s weird even though I’ve had 10 years once and three years the last time I still feel like I’m starting all over but I’m trying to not focus on that and remember how bad I don’t want to be a smoker
I am so very glad I found this site it has really helped me the last few days when that voice in my head tells me a cigarette would make me feel better
I'm curious - what do you think you're losing? I can assure you that whatever it is, what you are gaining by being smoke-free is triplefold that.
"The moment you begin to imagine breaking your quit is when that 'romance' begins ." Point on. Just added this to Quick Quips
I hope u r doing well
Today is my new Day One. Thanks for checking in on me
I DO have a DAY WON!!!!
The first of many life-affirming days of freedom! Great, Jen!
Please don’t beat yourself up please just be kind To yourself I have quit times for multiple years and this morning I was feeling so good because I have three days and this afternoon I started feeling sad and lonely and I startEd thinking about wanting a cigarette and I’m reading everybody’s comments so I have the strength to keep going
But I think the most Important thing is to love yourself And remember this is an awful addiction
we can all just be there for each other
The scary part is I’ve been in the car driving to that store and when I’ve been in that frame of mind I don’t want anyone to stop me or talk me out of it I just want relief from the terrible cravings
i keep trying to remind myself that as long as I continue to give in the cravings will keep coming
it is hard to believe that after knowing I have had so many wonderful years smoke free the voice inside my head telling me that cigarettes will make me feel better can be so loud
"i keep trying to remind myself that as long as I continue to give in the cravings will keep coming" That is the truth of the matter. Believe it. The "voice" only has as much power as you give it. Keep working on accepting the choice you've made to be smoke-free. You're still fighting it is my guess. When you truly make smoking no longer an option, you'll find the cravings diminish greatly. It's because smoking is still an available choice in your mind that you're suffering. When cigarettes no longer exist in your world, you are free.
I really hope you get back to quiting take it from me smoking sucks
i am only on day 2
i had three years and blew it back in July
I can’t believe how hard it is. My mind is playing head games again. I hate this addiction it is really hard
and I know how wonderful life can truly be without smoking. I hate that I am struggling with this addiction again. I had 10 years at one time.
Enough about me. Good luck to you and please know there are so many of us who know how you feel.
Oh no. I am sorry that the monster got you after so long. We can do this! This is so hard. I felt better and proud of myself when I was quit and now I am down on myself. I have my Day Won in and now onto Day 2. WE GOT THIS!!!
Hello ‘Jen are right We got this!!!
it is great to have real people to talk to when I feel like giving into the Monster
Best wishes to you on Day # 2
K , well trash em and keep going now .
Not another puff .
Keep on keepin on .
Never forget that disgusting taste .....but that's not the worst .......follow the path those inhalations took .
That swirl of smoking you only thought you saw outside .........it also made its way to your lungs ...
Keep going now . Don't think of yourself as failing , or you can't do it , or feel,ashamed , or you'll be stronger the next time .....just ..... don't ...... smoke . Never ever always .
You got this quit .