I Slipped UGH!!!!!!

[Jen_819]

I slipped today and need to get back on track!! I am so mad at myself, I was doing so good. I had 16 DOF in and I was weak. Over the weekend that's all I could think about was smoking. I kept pushing through, staying busy, then today I stopped and bought a pack and a polar pop. (They use to go hand in hand for me) I AM SO MAD!!!! UGH I STINK. Literally!!! I taste it. I smell like it. My car smells like it again. UGH UGH UGH

[Maki]

K , well trash em and keep going now . 

Not another puff . 

Keep on keepin on .

Never forget that disgusting taste .....but that's not the worst .......follow the path those inhalations took .

That swirl of smoking you only thought you saw outside .........it also made its way to your lungs ... 

Keep going now . Don't think of yourself as failing , or you can't do it , or feel,ashamed , or you'll be stronger the next time .....just ..... don't ...... smoke  . Never ever always . 

You got this quit . 

[marciem]

Jen_819‌ ... First of all, good for you for fessing up and getting right back to it ... that is soooo important!

second... you didn't slip, you relapsed.  You smoked.  A slip is an accident, and this was no accident.  You thought about it, you planned it (trip to store) and you did it.  The words we use affect our thinking, and the word "slip" #1 trivializes a HUGE event in a quitter's life and #2 takes away some of our accountability by making it 'almost an accident'.  

I can't emphasize enough for you to remember and etch into your brain how really truly crappy you feel about this whole episode, the self-anger, the smell, everything.  Why?  so that you won't be willing to go through it again when something happens that makes you feel you HAVE to smoke.  As it will.  That's part of the course of quitting.  But every time you get through one of those episodes without smoking, your quit becomes stronger and those urges will become weaker.

Get right back to it, you had a great trial run now lets do the real thing!!  

Best to you.  (I hope I didn't come off harsh or mean, it isn't intentional if so.  I'm just trying to be realistic and I do care that you become a comfortable nonsmoker!)

[Jen_819]

I needed this! Thank you! You are right, I have to be accountable for my actions. No one made me do it. I had it planned to leave for work early, stop to Circle K for a pop and smoke ugh. Totally my fault!!!

[tyndallgw]

Jen, 

I can't really add any words of wisdom like the responses above since I am only a newbie as well.  However, you were doing it, and you can do it again.  This time you will not have to go through the tougher withdrawal symptoms since you've already done this.  Thinking and praying for you.

[Barbscloud]

 You did surprise me, but I totally understand.   I'm glad you came here to admit your mistake and have the courage to begin again.  Don't be mad at yourself--it serves no purpose.  Turn it into your final quit.   Many of us have multiple attempts before we finally got it--it's not easy..   Learn from your mistake and move forward with a new found confidence.  And never forget, reach out before you smoke and give us a chance to help get you through a weak moment.  I know it saved me several times early in my quit.  

Hugs

Barb

[DavesTime]

Oh, Jen, I'm so sorry. I've done the same thing many times and, even though I told myself I wouldn't go back to smoking (and stinking and coughing and buying another pack and being frustrated and disappointed with myself for giving my quit away and....), every time I ended up doing just that.  And I'd smoke for a year or more before I felt ready to "try" again.  Did you smoke just one?  Get rid of those cigs you have left, destroy them so you won't be tempted to reclaim them and light up.  This is a deeply-rooted addiction that we are fighting; it may really be for you a matter of life and (eventual) death.  Be smarter than I was after all those times I "slipped."  I know you want this...I've been following your wonderful progress.  Make this a learning experience toward your health and freedom.  I say this as one who has been in your shoes.  Thanks for your honesty, Jen.  You can do this!

Dave

[tyndallgw]

Dave, happened to notice that you have a 2yr anniversary tomorrow.  My sincere congratulations.

[DavesTime]

Thanks. Saturday the 12th!  Hard to believe!

[Jen_819]

Thanks for the encouragement Dave! I am getting back on board this "crazy train". I want to live a lot longer!